Ask Sanji!
by BluePinstripe
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER UP! READ AND WEEP! AND UNTIL NOW THANKING HOGWARTSHINOBI, for... INSPIRATION! HAHAHA!
1. Sanji Tonight

Okay People, LISTEN UP! Sanji Fans and Haters!! Inspired by Hogwart Shinobi, I've made a new Advice/Question Column!!

Sanji is actually on leave from Baratie. BUT WHY THE FRENCH IS HE FRIGGIN LATE?!?!?

* * *

**Ladies and Gentlemen:**

**Introducing your favorite Cook/Pirate…**

**SANJI!!!**

* * *

**Sanji**: Ohio, Everyone! (lights up cigar)

**Neon**: tsk. You're 10 minutes late!!

**Sanji**: So? I had a customer at Baratie! You have a problem?

**Neon**: sheesh. Your cue.

**Sanji**: heh. Okay, fans or not fans of mine, ask me anything!! Zoro or Luffy isn't here to

Irritate you or so. Well? Bring up the questions!

**Neon: **you seem confident, Sanji.

**Sanji:** of course I am! I'm not like Zoro! Tormented by the color PINK!! HAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!

**Neon:** oh yeah? What if the haters ask you about ya…

**Sanji:** STOP right there. I'm not answering your question. I'm asking my FANS.

**Neon:** SO? I'm a Sanji Lover TOO!!

**Sanji:** tsk. I'm asking my FANS or HATERS not LOVERS. Say one more word or I'll kick you from here to there.

**Neon:** (whispers) Long Legs…

**Sanji**: Did you say something?

**Neon**: (sweat drop) N'thn!

**Sanji**: Okay! Lets Get it ON!!!


	2. Sanji Interview 1

Sanji Tonight

INTERVIEW NUMBER 1

Neon: Okay people! WE GOT ONE QUESTION FOR SANJI!! (Applause.)

* * *

Hi Sanji-kun!!  
If Neon has told u anything... it was I who had started that pink hair torture on Ask Zoro. I have a question to ask, since Zoro wouldn't give me a polite answer. (what a way to speak to a lady) What do you think Marimo would fit into as far as pairings go? ZoLu, or Zoro/Usopp??

P.S. Do u think you'd be free for coffe some time! I have loads of stuff on my "Torture Zoro" list to go over with you

-ocean-view-luffy

**Dear Ocean View Luffy-Chan**

**Ahh! First one on the line eh? Hehe! I LOVE YOU!! haa!**

**HAHAHA!! It was you?! Heh! never knew it can be a great hit! You're good! Hm… what do I think? Let's see… Usopp? Nah, long nose won't go with a green top idiot… LUFFY. Is my answer!! Haha! A good one! Straw hat with the 3 sword green top idiot!! Luffy is my answer, Ocean View Luffy Chan! **

**P.S- sure OVL-Chan, I'm always available!! We can have dinner after then I can give you a nice…**

Neon: OOKay that's enough Sanji. Coffee time is nice but don't go over it.

Sanji: b-but…

Neon: NO Buts. Next Question please?

Sanji: pssst! Tell me more of your plans on torchuring zoro!!

Neon: (thwacks Sanji on the head) ENOUGH ALREADY!!

Sanji: sheesh! (whispers) later OVL-chan!

Neon: Ok on to the next!!

* * *

Sanji: ONLY ONE FOR THIS ROUND?!

Neon: don't worry! We'll soon get on top! We just have to wait!

Sanji: hellooo? Fans? Are you out there? (heart-break eyes) sniff!

Neon: (pats Sanji on the back) MORE REVIEWS PLEASE!! SANJI'S DYING HERE!!

Sanji: sigh.


	3. Sanji Interview 2

Sanji Tonight

Part 2

**Neon**: YEAH!! Toldja It'll be a hit!!

**Sanji**: JUST SHUT UP AND I'LL ANSWER THE QUESTIONS!! (stops crying)

* * *

**Hi Sanji, **

I feel sorry for you.Your little bored isn't even close as good as Ask Zoro yet.I feel your pain.Anyways,if your hair wasn't blond,what would it be?

P.S.I plan to ask more questions later on.-nod nod-

**-Smallstream**

**Neon**: I guess I spoke too soon…

**Sanji**: that's alright!! Hmmm… my hair… any bright color would be nice. Ehe

P.S: go ahead! Im always available!!

**Neon**: NEXT!!

* * *

**Dear Sanji-kun,  
Okay I have to get this out here before I totally die of fangirlism. Alright, I just may be the only sanji-fangirl out there that has totally no interest how gay you are with any other crew member (including Zoro). There I'm done, Now my question is do you think Zoro is on steroids of something of that sort. After watching over 300 episodes I'm starting to get a little curious.  
-SKZS **

PS. Since I was so kind to ask you a question (and still will ask you random ones), after ocean-view-luffy, would you like to go out for some seafood of something? We can talk about how much better you are than Zoro. :)

Dear SkZs-Chan

THANK YOU!! You know, I think im starting to feel the pain what zoro is suffering now (sigh) anyways, Is Zoro under STERIODS?! Haha! My answer SkZs-Chan, is more or less!! But if it was true, I would tell you!

P.S: MELLORINE!!! MELLORINE!!! S-SURE SkZs-CHAN!! WHAT TIME!!?? TALK ABOUT ME?! VERY SURE!! JUST TELL ME WHAT TI…

**Neon**: Snap it, Sanji you can date her later.

**Sanji**: BUT--- (heart broken eyes)

**Neon**: there are still more Sanji-fangirls out there…

**Sanji**: REALLY?!?!

**Neon**: NEXT!!

**

* * *

**

**Hi! Sanji-Kun  
May I ask you 4 questions please?? Even if its a no, I'll ask anyway!! okay.. AHEM! Here we go: **

1) Why dont you shaving your legs?  
2) Whats the best thing about ladies? Sinse you love womens so much, What makes you? You really dont mean its just the way we looks, right?  
3) Ok, how many girls have you had? seriously now.  
4) can my friend next to me kiss you? She likes you so much! xD

Have a nice day Sanji-kun

**-PandaCuteGirl**

Dear PandaCuteGirl-Chan (cute name actually!)

Okay, here goes.

1)well, not shaving it makes me more… manly! Girls only shave PCG-chan.

2)About th-the ladies… its their… their… (drools) FEMININITY!!

3)Well, PCG chan, I had many girls… COUNTLESS Girls…

4)MELLORINE!! GO AHEAD!! (receives kiss) WAAAH!!! MELLORINE!! IM IN LOVE!!!

**Neon**: Snap it, Sanji.

**Sanji**: (love sick eyes) anymore fans of mine?

**Neon**: loads.

**Sanji**: BRING EM' ON!!

**Neon**: NEXT!!

**

* * *

**

**Dear Sanji, **

Aw, it's not nice to torture Zoro! 'glares' I'm a Zoro girl, and don't you forget it! Don't get me wrong, I like him in the 'cool, he can use three swords' way. He's my sensei! ('cept he doesn't know it yet...)

ANYWAYS, the question I've been wanting to ask for a while was WHO GOT YOU SO DAMN INTO GIRLS?! THY MUST HAVE HAD A SICK PERVERTED MIND TO INTRODUCE THINGS LIKE THAT TO A CHILD!

By the way, love your chilvary (sp?) code! I think it's cool!

From,

onepiece fanatic

PS

Ever kicked Luffy overboard of your own free will? Just curious... XD

Dear onepiece fanatic,

e…eh, (walks back slowly) okay, I didn't know that OP F-Chan… I'll stop I promise… hehe, your insults don't affect me, OP F-Chan. But why? I don't know! But every time I see a girl, I get all LOVEY DOVEY!!

**Neon**: shes asking WHY, Sanji…

**Sanji**: uhm. An impulse that make me like girls all the time on my head?

**Neon**: whatever.

My Chivalry? I protect girls. If anyone goes against it, my steel tipped shoes will take care of that. Heh.

P.S: hehe, that's only when im mad for him stealing food from my kitchen, OP F-Chan…

**Sanji**: haaa, so many fangirls… (smokes cigar)

**Neon**: NEXT!!

* * *

**Hi Sanji-kun!  
Tis' me! I'm back, haha. KK, now that I know your coming... i can give u a little taste of my Zoro plans. Fisrt on the list: **

1) Have Usopp shoot him out of a cannon and into a vat of green moss.

haha. So evil. I hope you don't mind cooking. I suck when it comes to food

**-ocean-view-luffy**

Dear ocean-view-luffy-Chan,

THAT WOULD BE GREAT!! Haha! I cant wait to see THAT!!! Usopp! Do that to zoro will ya?! Tell me more OVL-Chan…

**Neon**: usopp isn't here and you cant tell him what to do, you aren't the CAPTAIN of the straw hats anyway!

**Sanji**: darn it…

**Neon**: tsk. NEXT!!

**

* * *

**

**hi sanji-kun **

i'm a new sanji fangirl. usually i just like you being tortured but now i just want a HUG!

anyway... u think zoros hair is multicolored or only pink (natural, not current)  
can i have a cake?  
can i have ur new book "10 ways to annoy marimo"?  
CAN I HAVE A HUG?!  
(puts big hairy spider on your head)\  
AWW I heart u 2 :3

now to make fun of usopps long nose.

GLUE SHALL RULE ALL MANKIND BUT BOW TO ME!

**-raifanaticTAKONO**

Dear rfT-Chan,

1)…(snicker!) PINK!!

2)ANYTHING FOR YOU, rfT-CHAN!! ABSLOUTELY ANYTHING!! A WEDDING CAKE EVEN!!!!!!!!!

3)SURE!! ANYTHING FOR rfT-CHAN!!

4)MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! (gets a hug from rfT-Chan, not knowing the hairy spider on top)

5)I LOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU MORE!!

6)Usopp's Nose eh? It looks like the beef hot dog I forgot in the oven for 4 months… eeyuck. Brown and smelly too! And then…

**Neon**: Sanji…

**Sanji**: NANI?! Youre disturbing me!!

**Neon**: uhm… spider on top?

**Sanji**: hm? (takes spider) YAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!! (faints)

**Neon**: tsk. Hehe. Nice one rfT-Chan!!

**Neon**: NEXT!!! No more?

* * *

**Neon**: ookay Sanji, you can get up now.

**Sanji**: is it over?! IS IT DEAD?!?!

**Neon**: I got rid of it.

**Sanji**: GOOD! BTW… when is Nami-San coming here?

**Neon**: chapter 7, why?

**Sanji**: WAAAAH!! MORE REVIEWS PLEASE!! I WANT TO SEE NAMI-SAN!!!

**Neon**: you heard the guy! Anyways! That's all for tonight folks!! More Reviews please! See Ya!

**Sanji**: now where are the fangirls who are planning to go out with me…


	4. Sanji Interview 3

Ask Sanji

Part 3

Neon: Hello Folks! We're back on the third part interview with our favorite Cook slash Pirate… SANJI!

Sanji: Yo. (smokes cigar)

Neon: Ready for more, Sanji?

Sanji: hell yeah I am!! BRING ON MY FAN GIRLS!!

Neon: You're lucky… hehe. we got… 5 letters here.

Sanji: 5 ONLY?!

Neon: Yeah. But ones long.

Sanji: oh. Okay.

* * *

**Sanji!! I luv u... just not as much as i luv Zoro... If you were soup what flavor would u be? And would you feed urself to Zoro if he was starving?? **

Luv Zo-chan

Dear Zo-chan,

I would be asparagus, CNS, or any soup that's suits any girl… WHAT?! NO WAY!! WHY WOULD I LET MYSELF BE SIPPED BY THAT BAGERRO?! But I have to, or Luffy is gonna wallop my ass…

Neon: CNS? Whats that?

Sanji: **C**-hicken **N**-oodle **S**-oup, gets?

Neon: ahhh. Okay…

Sanji: Anymore out there?

Neon: yup. NEXT!!

* * *

**Ohiyo Sanji-kun!!  
I'm back.. i got word from Usopp that under Luffy's orders... we can't shoot him outta a cannon. **

Awe man. But I've gotta back up plan. Why don't we... pay the loveable captain a visit, feed him some meat, and then see what he says. -winks-. Zoro is such a jerk, all my friend wanted was a cup of coffee and to talk and he turned her down. No one does that to my best friend. You can relate right Sanji-kun...

number two on the list is to knick Wadou , Zoro's prized sword. kk! We'll have to get him drunk first.

**-ocean-view-luffy**

Dear Ocean View Luffy-chan,

WHAT!!?? ZORO TURNED YOUR FRIEND DOWN FOR HAVING COFFEE?! I swear Zoro, if I get back to the ship, youre a dead man… tsk. That's so rude. Anyways, hehe, that's a good plan. Good thing I have plenty of good Grogs and Sake hehe. Tell me what time, I'll give it to him, when he's drunk, grab the sword!! Heee heee!!

Neon: you REALLY hate Zoro, no?

Sanji: THAT'S BECAUSE HE TURNED DOWN ocean-view-luffy's FRIENDS REQUEST FOR A CUP OF COFFE!!!

Neon: tsk. Will your rivalry ever end?

Sanji: NEVER!! Don't worry, OVL-chan, tell your friend that Zoro is gonna reconsider what he said…grrrr

Neon: oookay, this is scary now…NEXT!!

* * *

**Sanji-kun  
Hello my favorite blonde cook! Are you aware that you are the third smartest member of the strawhats, you are only behind the women. Anyways, my question is that did you know that you could have gotten a bounty well worth the amount of Zoro's if you didn't play the background rolls like Mr. Prince. The marines would have noticed you and ur little sceme and they'd probably give u a bounty. Sure that is the hottest codename ever...and the strawhats would be dead without you...okay never mind thats a stupid question. Do you like having a bounty now?  
-SKZS  
PS I'm sure I can break you out of solitary for a date, I've seen all the Jackie Chan movies! ;)**

**-Sanji-kunZoro-san**

Dear SkZs-chan,

Me? Mr. Prince? Hehe. Cool nick right? Girls fall in love with that nick! Why, even th…

Neon: the QUESTION…

Sanji: A bounty… SURE!! If Girls see that wanted poster, they'd fall all over it! THEY LOVE ME!!

Neon: hey, look, P.S.

Sanji: Oh!

P.S. MELLORINE!! FORGET THE OTHER GIRLS!! WHAT TIME?! WHERE?! JACKIE CHAN? I LOVE JACKIE CHAN!! LETS GO!!

Neon: you can date her after the show.

Sanji: WWAAAHH!! IM IN LOVE!! (lovesick eyes)

Neon: this is getting worse everyday, NEXT!! Whoa! A LOT of questions!!

Sanji: hm?

**

* * *

**

**i'm back **

hi

(puts vibrating cell phone in my pocket) hehe vibrating pants

anyway...  
1.what made you and zoro worst enemies in the 1st place?  
2.just call me takono or takono chan, not rtf chan  
3.i "accidentally" ripped luffys hat and he gave me a black eye and a broken leg. can you punch him 4 me?(yes i cried for 30 min.)  
4.(spidah on ur head)now how did THAT get there?  
5. if i hugged you, would you kiss zoro?  
6.besides yell mellorine/faint/hug me/act perverted in any way/loveydovey way what would you do if i kissed you(which im NOT ready for so dont hold your breath)  
7. no wedding cake  
8.can you tell franky to put some pants on? his speedos creep me out  
9.no the spiders not dead its IMMORTAL so it cant die... IT HAUNTS YOU FOREVER!  
10.you should have said "multicolor"...THAT INCLUDES PINK  
11.i fell off my chair laughing at your "usopps nose" crack and now my head hurts  
12.CHEDDAR  
13.PLATYPUS IS A FUNNY NAME  
14. go on you tube and search raifanatic. the userlookup has my pic all over it. WATCH MY VIDS(especially zoro doki doki waku waku)  
15. do i talk too much?  
16.g-BYE

p.s. can you measure luffys weight? after how much he eats, i've been curious...

**-raifanaticTAKONO**

Dear Takono-Chan

Ahem! My answers…

1) Seeing his green mopped up hair makes me disturbed… AND the way he rejects the ladies, AANND tsk. Im beginning to think Zoro started this in the first place…

2) Okay, Takono-chan, I Will always follow your request… (bows)

3) DAMN YOU LUFFY!! YOURE A DEAD RUBBER BAND WHEN I GET THERE!!! Don't worry Takono-Chan, ill handle the consequences and I'll fix his hat… like I said ANYTHING FOR YOU!!! And Takono-chan. I don't punch. I kick. I don't want to ruin my lovely hands, don't i?

4) WAAHGH!! ANOTHER SPIDER!!?

Neon: I thought you put it on his head, Takono-Chan?

Sanji: sniff! That's not nice!!

Neon: still more, Sanji.

5) Maybe I can do the opposite Takono Chan. I'll Kiss you! And i'll Hug Zoro! That is, only when I get the kiss! But Kissing Zoro? Neon, paper bag.

Neon: Here.

Sanji: (Pukes) NO WAY!!!

6) I-I w-wont do anything just wait for th-the kiss (holds back his flirtyness) a..and…

Neon: trying hard not to say "MELLORINE" eh?

Sanji: I CANT HO-OLD I-IT!! M…M…ME…MEL…

Neon: NEXT QUESTION!!

7) Is Birthday Cake better?

8) HAHA!! i thought at first it was Boxers!! Sure Takono-Chan, when I get back, I'll tell him.

9)…Gulp…

Neon: HAHAHA!! NOW THAT SCARED THE WITTS OUT OF SANJI!!!

Sanji: SHUT UP BAGERRO!!! (kicks neon on the face)

10) I…(giggle) like pink alone better… HAHAHAHA!!! Suits Zoro!!

11) OH!! Are you okay, Takono-Chan? Im sorry I made you laugh too much, Gomenasai… (bows)

12) Hmmm. I don't like putting cheese with fried chicken… or the lamb steak… yuck. But cheese is very nutritious!! Very healthy!! Im going to put CHEESE on ALL MY DISHES!!!

Neon: yuck! Who would like to eat a menu full of cheese in it?!

Sanji: SHUT UP!! IM FOLLOWING WHAT NEW RECIPIE TAKONO-CHAN IS GIVING ME!!! (kicks neon again)

13) Platypus? Heyyy!! A NEW NICKNAME FOR ZORO!!! I'll call him GREEN TOPPED-PLATYPUS!! HAHAHAHA!!!

14) I'll do that Takono-Chan. ANYTHING FOR TAKONO-CHAN!!

15) No, Takono-Chan I just LOVE talking to you…

16) Okay, Takono-Chan, I too, says Goodbye! And take care, Takono-Chan!!

P.S.-he weighs… wait… uhm… 29 kilos. Happy? Anything for Takono-Chan!

Neon: ow…

Sanji: I'm sorry! YOU JUST KEPT BUGGING ME WHILE IM TALKING!! I DON'T LIKE THAT YOU KNOW!!

Neon: h-hey! Another one from Takono-Chan!

Sanji: Nani?! Ahh, Takono-Chan…

* * *

**whats weirder, btw... my docs name has the word mariano in it, so when i read it, i thought it said marimo... **

WRITE BACK KAY SANJI KUN

--takono

p.s. whats luffys "brain" made of? mines made of steak cuz i'm stupid...USOPP SAID I WAS! ASK HIM! he also told me to put his tabasco sauce in my taco, my mouth burned so badly and it hurt. BLAME HIM

Dear Takono-Chan,

Haaah… this is your second post on today's episode… you really love me do you? Hehe. HEYYYYYY!!! ANOTHER NAME FOR ZORO!! MARIANO!!! "PLATYPUS MARIANO" hows that? HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! Damn I crack myself up…

P.S.- Takono-Chan, Luffy's brain is made out of rubber! He IS a rubber-man right? STEAK?! STUPID?!?! Okay, that's it, Usopp's making my blood boil again… his nose will be HOTDOG FOR DINNER!! Don't worry, Takono-Chan, he'll never insult you again when I cook his nose… wha? USOPP AGAIN?! IM GONNA GIVE HIM MY "Lyle and Pertie" MY PERSONAL SAUCE!! WHEN HE EATS IT, HIS INTERIORS WILL BURN!!

Neon: that's a bit too much, Sanji.

Sanji: SO?! Usopp hurt girls. And whats my chivalry? PROTECT EM'!!

Neon: tsk. That's still too much.

Sanji: whatever. Is it the end of the show?

Neon: yeah. But there are still more letters to be submitted!

Sanji: okay (runs away) SkZs-Chan!! Where are youuuuuu?!

* * *

Neon: okay folks, I have some announcements. Okay? Now, Zoro Lovers, Luffy Lovers, Usopp Lovers, just forget what Sanji is saying about your idols. He's just answering a question anyway and at times he doesn't mean what he's saying, okay?. And for Zoro Lovers, its already clear that Sanji and Zoro are rivals, so its clear that Sanji will insult Zoro any time he wants. So consider that please. No Flaming! Okay! 

Neon: on the 7th chapter as you heard on the last episode, Miss Nami will be here with Sanji. But there has been some rescheduling, She's saying she'll come on Chapter 6. hehe. So wait for that folks! And soon to come! Zoro in Sanji Tonight! WAIT FOR THAT!!

Sanji: sniff (heart break eyes)

Neon: well? How'd it go?

Sanji: I couldn't find SkZs-Chan…

Neon: that's okay Sanji, until next time! Bye!!

Sanji: more reviews please…


	5. Sanji Interview 4 Takono Chan's Problem

Ask Sanji

Part 4

**Neon**: OOokay!! Sanji! We've got more!!

**Sanji**: EH?! Wow! That's a lot! All of em are long!

**Neon**: just get ready.

**Sanji**: (smokes cigar) fine.

**Neon**: First up!! Smallstream!

* * *

**Sanji-kun  
I told you I'd be back.Anyways,If all your cool suits burned up and there was no other way of getting more what would you wear?I hope that doesn't happen cause your suits are cute.-kisses cheek- **

-Smallstream

P.S.I shall be back again.I just don't like taking up half of the dang page with questions like most people do..

Dear Smallstream-Chan,

If all my suits are gone? Then id just wear t-shirts and jeans. Suits me after all. And arigatou gozaimas for the compliment on my suits… I just love the way girls talk about it… (Receives kiss from Smallstream-Chan) MELLORINE!!! MELLORINE!!

P.S. I don't mind if the whole page is filled with questions, it means people out there loves me!!

**Neon**: NEXT!

**Sanji**: wonder who is it this time?

* * *

**Ohiyo Sanji-kun! **

My friend's moved on, poor thing. Locked herself in her room for days. Nothing to eat or drink, tsk tsk. Zoro is a mean one. But she still wants to see him crash and burn. I believe her exact words were "Crash and burn! Crash and burn!"

Hmm. slip a little sake into his food. I'll take the sword and knick it. You can spit on it if you like. Haha!! -sigh- Are there no good men anymore.

Thanks for listening Sanji-kun - ,  
Nice to hear from a guy who listens (and good looking too!)

Love ocean-view-luffy

Dear ocean-view-luffy-Chan,

Tsk. What exactly happened to your friend? The poor girl… THAT ZORO IM GONNA KILL HIM!! hehe, I'll take the most powerful sake I have and it'll make him drunk in no time!! Then knick the sword!! Oh yeah, I'd rather stomp on it than spit. Or maybe spitting while stomping? Haha! what a good plan! Thank you, OVL-chan tsk! I'm becoming LOVEY DOVEY AGAIN!!

**Neon**: this is getting worse everyday…

**Sanji**: anymore of them?

**Neon**: yup. NEXT LETTER!

* * *

**Sanji-kun  
Good afternoon Sanji-kun (If it is afternoon over where you are)!! Well okay I'm having a bad afternoon...stupid thunder storm. I'm deathly scared of storms. That's my number 1 fear. Spiders is my number 2 fear, then bald people are number 3. And here I am sitting in my chair cowering in fear and lacking someone to hold...okay well my question is what are you deeply scared of...besides spiders.  
Love,  
SKZS  
P.S. Can we make this date today? I'm sick of being alone and I despretly need someone to hold. Great...now it's raining... I'll be here tonight Sanji! I promise!...AH something just hit the window!**

Dear SkZs-chan,

Well its morning here, but thanks for the greeting. Oh? That's okay SkZs-Chan, when Luffy me and the rest were in Grandline, we got more than just thunderstorm. So, don't worry, you're not the only one! SOMEONE TO HOLD?! ASK ME!! IM AVAILABLE!! Well, SkZs-Chan, having my hands cut off suddenly is what I fear most. Spiders are my second. Hehe. Bald people? Im not scared of them but I laugh at them instead!

P.S. DATE?! SURE!! I'LL BE GLAD TO!! I'LL JUST FINISH THE SHOW THEN WE'RE OFF!! MELLORINE!!!!!!!!!!! MELLORINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Neon**: you can…

**Sanji**: …date her after the show. I know. Well? I need to finish this quickly or…

**Neon**: Heyyy!! Guess whos next?!

**Sanji**: Takono-chan?

**Neon**: yup. With more questions!

**Sanji**: you know, im thinking that we should make her the most loyal fan of mine!

**Neon**: we'll see!

* * *

**HI **

1. (20 cell phones in my pants) SUPAH VIBRATING PANTS  
2. dude, i just said cheddar. I didnt give you a recipe. CHEDDAR ROX!(stupid "franky" pose)  
3. you can still make me laugh that much, i just meant it was funny.  
4. i have a problem--i like spending time with my friend, but her little brothers are always so annoying and around her and one is a perv who keeps cursing and saying "sexy" too much and tries to touch "unnecessary" parts. what should I do? this is a 7 year old. SAVE ME FROM THE EBUL PERV!

5.i wont put a spider on your head...

6. SPIDERMAN! COVER YOURSELF IN SLIME AND ATTACK SANJI! ATTACK WITH TARANTULAS AND UKELELES!

7. i dont mind frankys poses and songs, put his speedos creep me out. please tell me you actually talked to him!

8. did you see my videos?

9.birthday cake is better. whyd you bring up a wedding cake?

10. um i'm not ready for a kiss... so... no. kiss zoro. he's a fangirl. mostly the girl part.

11. my legs almost healed and my eyes not black anymore(but it still hurts a little)

12. poke zoro one million times and say "zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro" a million times.

13. i think i talk too much and stupid(nu!) DONT SAY ANYTHING NEON

14.i'm a lumberjack and i'm ok i sleep all night and i work all day!

15. zoro cuts down trees, he wears high heels, suspenders and a bra. he wish he were a girlie just like luffys dear grandpa

16. ur funny AND cute (um neon, dont barf.)

17. I MEANT "mariano" AS IN I THOUGHT HE WAS DUMB AS MARIMO(i got scared a little to figure out he's my PHD)

gotta go

-takono

p.s. was zoro funny enough in "zoro doki doki waku waku"?

Dear my Beloved Takono-Chan,

Ahem, again. My answer.

1) uhm… Neon… what are cellphones again?

**Neon**: well its this one.

**Sanji**: those things can vibrate?!

**Neon**:Heck yea!!

**Sanji**: wonder how does It feel when 20 of them vibrates in your pocket?

2) Ooohh! I thought you were giving me a new recipie for cooking!! And yeah, Cheddar is Franky's stupid pose… hehe

**Neon**: See? I told you!! no one will eat a menu full of cheese!!

**Sanji**: SHUT UP BAGERRO!! MOUTON SHOOOOT!! (Kicks Neon and Neon flies high in the sky)

3) Hehe! I will do ANYTHING to make girls laugh and think im funny!!

4) Nani?! A 7 year old? Touching? UNNECESSARY PARTS?! Okay, wheres the kid, Takono-Chan. Ill gladly kick him out of the window… I hate people who tries to TOUCH my fangirls… or my suggestion, just say, "I'LL KICK YOU ON THE BALLS IF YOU KEEP DOING THAT!!!"

5) ARIGATOU GOZAIMAS!!!

6) YAAAAGH!!! W-whre is he? Im gonna kick him till he gets squashed!! Along with his CREEPY CRAWLY ARMIES!! (that is… if I CAN…) DON'T DO THIS, TAKONO-CHAN!! I LOVE YOUUU!!

7) Hehe. I already told him. Don't worry.

8) of course, Takono-Chan. hehe, the Zoro Doki Doki Waku Waku is funny. but then. at times zoro's face gets on my nerves. im not done watcing all of them, but be assured Takono-Chan! I'll Watch them all!!

9) Wedding cake, because, a wedding cake has more style, taste, and most of all it suits to people who are in love EVEN when they are not getting married. So? You want a wedding cake?

10) W-WHY?! Tsk. I worked so hard making myself look cool, then I get rejected… (fixes necktie) KISS ZORO?! If the world turns upside down, and when Osama-Bin-Laden is captured, I can kiss him… okay?

11) Do you still need medication? NO CHOPPER I DON'T NEED YOU!! (pushes Chopper away) I can help, just tell me…

12) WHAT ARE YOU THINKING TAKONO-CHAN?! I AM GAY? Sniff! Takono-Chan do-dont do this to me… I Love You!! or better yet, i can poke Zoro to death!

13) No, you don't talk too much and you're not stupid. I just love the way you are! (Lovey-Dovey eyes) and don't worry, Neon is KO for a moment.

14) Do you need help? I can use Party Table Kicking Course so all the trees will fall on unison! AND im still better than Zoro in taking trees down, no matter what people say.

15) WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! NICE RHYME!! LOVE THAT!! Hmmm (takes out booklet) another insult to irritate Zoro… ARIGATOU GOZAIMAS!!!! wish it was true though...

16)I am! You are funny, cute, lovely, beautiful, kind, loving, polite, cute, and I place you ABOVE all others! One more thing, you're cute. Did I say that already? And don't worry, Neon is OC (out of commission) of a while. Heehee. Neon barfs? Cool!

17)Hehe. Gomen, Gomen. Im not a perfect person, Takono-Chan. But still, it's a good name for Zoro… (snicker) Platypus Mariano… hehe!!

Bye!! Takono-Chan!! I LOVE YOUUUUU!!! (waves)

P.S. Question number 8 answered your question, Takono-Chan

**Neon**: oohh… my friggin head…

**Sanji**: … (lovey-dovey eyes) Takono-Chan…

**Neon**: wha happen?!

**Sanji**: I finished answering Takono-Chan's Questions… and sigh! I think im in love!

**Neon**: you always say that!!

**Sanji**: IM SERIOUS HERE, NEON!! IT'S A GOOD THING I DIDN'T DO CONSSASE OR THE ANTI MATTER KICKING COURSE TO SHUT YOU UP!!

**Neon**: Okay! Okay! Chill! You got 2 more letters!! Next!

* * *

**Dear Sanji,  
My best friend is raifanaticTAKONO. We are very sorry we couldnt make a WiiMii for you because it would show your left eye. Now here are my questions:  
1. What does ur left eye look lyk anyways??  
2. drops hairy spider on head plz go out with Takono-san??give her a kiss 2 so i can sell a pic of it on ebay and get rich.  
3. You just can help it that Ace is sexier than you are right?**

**-shinzomating**

Dear Shinzomating-Chan,

Whats a WiiMii?

**Neon**: dunno!

Anyways, my answers

1) I want you to guess, Shinzomating-Chan!

2) WAAAAGH!! ANOTHER ONE!! I'LL GO! I'LL GO! JUST ASK TAKONO-CHAN WHAT TIME AN PLACE AND IM THERE!! A… kiss? (ignores spider) MELLORINE!!!!!! I WILL!! I WILL!! MELLLLLOOOOOOORRRRIIIIIINNNNNNEEEE!!!

3) Eh? NO! IM MORE HOTTER THAN HIM!! IF LUFFY LOOK-ALIKE WANTS A FIGHT, I'LL GIVE IT TO HIM!! IM HOTTER THAN HIM!!!

**Neon**: one more!

**Sanji**:…(Lovey-Dovey eyes)

**Neon**: OI! You awake?!

**Sanji**:… eh? Yeah I am!

**Neon**: the last! But not the least!!

* * *

**Dear Sanji-san,  
I'm definitely a fangirl of you, because you're my favorite sexy pirate cook! I love you a lot, so could you answer a few questions for me (and some for my friend)?:  
1. Could I possibly borrow a shirt from you sometime? All my shirts are coming apart on me, and I wouldn't like having to go into public shirtless. :(  
2. Where do babies come from?  
3. Could I touch your eyebrow? I admire it. xD  
4. I equally like American boys, Japanese boys, Filipino boys, and cooks. Which one do you suggest I date?  
5. You vs. Kakashi from Naruto--who would win?  
6. Will you go on a date with me? Or even just a walk on the beach...  
I'm sorry for so many questions. Please answer Sanji-san, we NEED you!  
Yours Truly,  
Apple Bomb kiss**

Dear Apple Bomb-Chan

Whoa!! Im a SEXY PIRATE COOK!! Haha! I Love you a lot too, and I'd gladly answer ANY OF YOUR QUESTIONS!!

1) Awww, that's alright! I can let you have THE WHOLE WARDROBE OF MINE so you can dress up better…

2) Beautiful babies comes from their beautiful ladies tummy!

3) Go ahead! (lets Apple Bomb-Chan touch eyebrow)

4) COOKS! Like ME!! All the other boys suck!!

5) Kakashi… I remember that name when the straw hats came to Konoha. Oh! The Shady ninja with the title "Copy Ninja"? (I call him copycat) who reads the ero-book (I read it too!) and uses… whats that? Sharinggan? Heh. He'd win definitely I don't use ninja stuff, I don't copycat moves and I don't use scary eyes. So he'd win!

6) SURE!! MELLORINE!! A WALK ON THE BEACH?! DOUBLE SURE!!

Its okay, Apple Bomb-Chan, a love answering LOADS of questions from a beautiful fangirl like you!

MELLORINE!!!! ANOTHER KISS!! WAHH!! IM IN LOVE MORE!!

**Neon**: you gallant…

**Sanji**: is that all?! I CANT WAIT FOR DATING!!

**Neon**: yea its over already!

**Sanji**: EEEYAHOOOO!! IM OFF!! BYE!! (runs out)

**Neon**: tsk. Two dates at one time? Hows that?!

* * *

**Neon**: well! That's it for today's episode! Well, folks as you noticed that Sanji is starting to have some feelings for Takono-Chan and he loved the way Apple Bomb-Chan called him "Sexy Pirate Cook" hehe! But lets see if Sanji can withstand the "Mellorine" and the most unavoidable "LOVEY-DOVEY" on the next episode! Since Chapter 6 presents… the sleek and sly Thief/Pirate… **MS. NAMI!!**

**Neon**: So, Sanji Lovers and Nami fans, prepare your questions for the next one! Lets see if Sanji can tolerate all the love he is getting while Ms. Nami is there with us in the show!! So, see you next time, people! More Review please!! See ya!!

**Sanji**:(outside) SkZs-Chan!! IM COMING!! DON'T FRET! SANJI IS HERE!! APPLE BOMB-CHAN!! I'LL BE WAITING AT THE BEACH!!

**Neon**: tsk. The Gallant.


	6. Sanji Interview 5

Ask Sanji

Part 5

**Neon**: Ohiyo, Everybody!! Sadly Ms. Nami isnt here, so if any questions for her, forget it.

**Zoro**: Yo.

**Neon:** Zoro? what are you? doing here

**Zoro**: you don't want me here, Neon? (glares)

**Neon**: oh! I do! I do! Now where's Sanji…?

**Sanji**: HELLO and welcome again to Sanji tonigh… NANI?! PLATYPUS MARIANO!!! i mean, its you moss-head.

**Zoro**: now what are you calling me this time, Ero-Cook?

**Sanji**: I THOUGHT NAMI-SAN WILL BE HERE ONLY?!

**Neon: **lets just say that she was delayed

**Sanji**: (heartbroken eyes) WHYYYYYYYYYY?!?! AND WHY DID SHE SEND PLATYPUS MARIANO!! i mean zoro.

**Zoro**: call me that one more time sanji, im GONNA KILL YOU!! and she sent me because she told me to tell Neon she couldnt make it

**Sanji**: well, no matter. and PLATYPUS MARIANO is a name given by my fangirl, Takono-Chan!

**Zoro**: whatever... im too tired to go back, so i'll sleep here... it is okay, Neon?

**Neon: **its fine, just sit here and sleep

**Sanji**: Tsk. anyways, lets get on with this.

**Neon**: okay people! lets start! Zoro is already asleep!

**Sanji:** good! I don't want to hear Platypus Mariano talk anymore!!

**Zoro**: ZzZzZzZz…

**Neon**: first up! Sanji's Beloved Fangirl! Takono-Chan!!

**Sanji**: Nani?! Tsk! She REAAALLLLY loves me… (boasts)

* * *

**shinzo i shall kill you AND DONT THINK ITLL BE QUICK AND PAINLESS IN YOUR SLEEP...itll be slow (glare)i already said i dont want a kiss.(i'm too scared to.not ready yet.)**

**1.that wont work. trust me. just to creep me out, he opened his legs(with pants on) and POINTED TO THEM. even if i DO kick him, i'll never see my friend again... HELP ME(supah cute bambi eyes) **

**2.wadda you mean "why are you doing this to me"? its what i do to annoy zoro--poke him in the forehead and say his name a million times untl he yells "WHAT?!" then i wait 2 seconds and say hi. then i run away laughing.**

**3.ur afraid of spiderman and ukeleles? UKELELES ROK!**

**4.sowwy(even cuter supah bambi eyes)**

**5.dude, we're not getting married, so a wedding cake seems awkward. can i have a mini strawberry cake?**

**6. somehow i feel like ur favorite fangirl just because i ask 20 questions a day.**

**7.usopp didnt call me stupid or give me hot sauce. i just wanted to see you beat him up so he can scream like a little girl.(gomenasai) but you gotta admit that WAS funny!**

**8.i didnt go by medications. YAY MY LEG IS BETTER(after a couple days) hmm... my eye doesnt hurt... WOO HOO ARIGATO CHOPPER UR THE BEST DOCTOR EVAH**

**9.20 cell phones in your pants vibrating feels god**

**10."i'm a lumberjack and i'm ok i sleep all night and i work all day" is PART OF THE LUMBERJACK SONG. one part i added zoros name in it and instead of "his dear papa" i put "luffys dear grandpa". its a song. WHY THE HELL WOULD I BE A LUMBERJACK?! (a zebra sneezed on me years ago. THATS why.)**

**11.(snicker)green-topped platypus...(laugh) platypus mariano...**

**12.(steals frankys cola) SUPAH COLA POWAH**

**13. FRESH COLA POWAH**

**14.dammit i'm all out of questions.**

**--takono**

**p.s. to make you happy, if you find a way to help me get rid of the 7 year old, i'll give you a kiss. we can even go out. but only IF this works. so PWEEZZ HELP ME**

**p.s.s.how many videos did you watch? i have 45 so you might not wanna watch all of them.**

**p.s.s.s.glue tastes funny. dont eat it. yes its non-toxic so i'll live.**

**p.s.s.s.s. APPLESAUSE RULEZ(lol apple sauce-topped platypus mariano marimo! can zoro top THAT?)**

**p.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s. i put too many "s".**

**p.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.  
why did i run out uf questions if i have alot of "p.s."?**

Dear My Beloved Takono-Chan,

Ahem, for the third time. My answers…

1) Kawaii!! I LOVE THOSE EYES!! Ahem (turns serious) now, forget my suggestion about kicking him on the balls Okay, now what I want you to do is… hmmm… I cant tell you to give him what he wants! Or he'll do something more than that!! Hmmm… just tell your friend to tell him to stop irritating you… simple enough! But if it does not work, call a small kid (a girl) and tell that small kid to call the 7yr. SEXY and let the small kid touch the guy's "UNNECESSARY PARTS" and ask him how it feels. If he says It feels good, IM GONNA GO THERE AND KICK THE KIDS ASS!! seriously speaking, tell the kids parents.

2) hmmm… Oi! Zoro!

**Zoro**: ZzZzZzZzZzZ…

**Sanji**: oh, well… here goes!(pokes Zoro on the forehead while saying…)zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro zorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozorozoro

**Zoro**: WHAT THE #$!?!!?!?!?

**Sanji**: (waits two seconds.)(Then.) Hi! (runs) HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!

**Zoro**: IM GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!! (runs after Sanji)

**Neon**: folks, this'll take a minute… (giggles)

----------10 minutes later----------

**Sanji**: (teary eyed from laughing) hahaHAHA! I LOVE DOING THAT!! ARIGATOU GOZAIMAS!!! TAKONO-CHAN!!

**Zoro**: Im gonna KILL that fangirl of yours…

**Sanji**: (turns serious) What… did you… SAY?!

**Zoro**: tsk. Never mind. Im gonna take my nap. (still annoyed)

**Sanji**: that. Takono-Chan. Is my answer for number 2!!

3) tsk. Spider man is still a Spider. So of course im afraid of him! Uhm. Whats a Ukelele? Another type of spider? AND ANOTHER SPIDER?! WHERE!!

**Neon**: there is no spider! 'cept the one on Sanji's head…

**Sanji**: NNNAAAANNNIII?! AGAIN?!

**Zoro**: (Zoro takes out his sword and kills the spider. While sleeping) can you SHUT UP NOW!?! IM TAKING MY NAP!!

**Sanji**: (whispering) Platypus Mariano.

4) AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW………don't worry, I forgive you…… THAT'S SOOO… KAWAIIIIIII!!! Keep doing that I'll be addicted to you forever!!

5) ahem. I call it Strawberry-Short-Cake, Takono-Chan. And OF COURSE YOU CAN HAVE IT!! ANYTHING FOR TAKONO-CHAN!!!

6) you ARE the most FAVORITE FANGIRL in my life!! You Takono-Chan and Nami-Chan are the same in my life!! And… ASK ME MORE!!!

7) hehe. My Lyle and Pertie works a lot!

8) (sniff) Chopper?? Why not me, Takono-Chan? I give you food! To help you get better! My food is with vitamins! NOT LIKE CHOPPER… HE JUST GIVES YOU BANDAGES! What good does a bandage do anyway? It only heals your wound externally! My food heals you INTERNALLY!! With love that is…

9) really? Im gonna try that out!

10) Gomen,Gomen. As I said im not a perfect person. Sometimes, I don't get what are you saying. But that's one of the reasons why I LOVE you as my fangirl!

11) funny, isn't it? Give me more names! Im gonna insult him more.

12 & 13) Franky's gonna get mad for insulting him too much!

14) Darn and I was enjoying a nice talk with you…

P.S. K-KISS?! D-DATE!!!??? MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! Don't worry, Takono-Chan, if the answer on question #1 does not work, consult me again, and I'll show the kid who's boss…

P.S.S. I only watched two of them! But no worries, I'll ask Neon to watch all of them.

P.S.S.S. eeyuck. Don't tell tell me that's a new recipe for my cooking, Takono-Chan…

P.S.S.S.S. hehe, a new name for Zoro!! Platypus Apple Sauce Mariano!! NICE ONE, TAKONO-CHAN!! YOU'RE SOOOO SMART!! MELLORINE!!!

Takono-Chan, don't worry if you run out of questions, you can still ask me since im still here. No matter how many P.S.'s are there, I'LL GLADLY ANSWER THEM ALL FOR YOU!!!!!!

Poor usopp…NOT!!

-your Idol, Sanji

**Neon**: Holy cats, that's a lot!

**Sanji**:… poor Takono-Chan… being tormented by a kid… grrr…

**Neon**: oookay, this is scary! NEXT!!

* * *

**Ohiyo Sanji-kun!!  
I'm back. I was visiting my friend. You wanted to know how she got dumped, right? Well I had repeatedly asked Zoro on none other than "Ask Zoro". I had asked once, he didn't respond. He only answered a previous question. The I demanded he tell me. He told me he didn't want to go out with my "Lame friend" poor girl read it. She didn't want to talk much after that. It was coffee, and she was gonna pay! Jeeze! But I'm fighting so she can smile again**

**thank you so much for listening...again.  
Bye bye my lovely! -kiss, kiss- **

**Love,  
Ocean-view-luffy**

Dear ocean-view-luffy-Chan,

LAME FRIEND?! ZORO! WAKE UP!!

**Zoro**: what is it NOW?!

**Sanji**: you denied OVL-Chan's friend's REQUEST?!

**Zoro**: who the heck… ahh. Okay, I remember now. So? Whats the problem with that?

**Sanji**: (angry) reconsider that, Baka.

**Zoro**: talking to me Ero-Cook?

**Sanji**: you goat son loving…

**Neon**: Okay! Stop!

Anyways, back to your situation, im with you in making her smile again OVL-Chan!! Tell her to post a question or advice here and she'll laugh like the rest of my fan girls!!

MELLORINE MELLORINE!!! WAAH!! IM IN LOVE!!

Bye OVL-Chan! And youre welcome!

**Neon**: kinda hectic here, eh?

**Sanji**: hehe.

**Neon**: Next!!

* * *

**Dear Sanji-kun,  
Once again,I'm back.I'll ask more questions this time though.Oh and by the way,call me Keisha, cause that's my name.Well except in the little 'Dear -'thing cause I won't know if it's me or not.Anyways,question time.**

**1)If you lived in the present-day world what country/state/place would you live in besides Japan?  
2)Will dump black paint on Zoro's head for me?I think it'd be funny.  
3)Let's just SAY Nami said she'd go out with you.Where would you go,what would you do,and if you ate anything what would it be?  
4)Will you make me a cherry pie?  
5)What's your favorite band/music artist?  
6)I dare you to put little pink hair bows in Zoro's hair.**

**That's all.And I'll be back again.**

**-Smallstream**

**P.S.Another name for Zoro would be Lime Head wouldn't it?**

Dearest Keisha-Chan (hows that?)

Keisha, ahem. My answers…

1)hehe, the big apple itself, Keisha-Chan, New York. Or even France. Heard theres a lot of cooking there!!

2) hehe, don't bother! He's asleep right now anyway!!

3) Wow! She will?! I would go to the most expensive restaurant, I'll be yelling MELLORINE the whole time, the most expensive food me and Nami-Chan can eat!!

4) MELLORINE!! YOU LOVE CHERRY PIE?? I'LL MAKE YOU ONE!!! ANYTHING FOR KEISHA-CHAN!!!

5) ever heard of Justin Timberlake? Yea, I kinda like him. His styles makes girls CRAAAZY.

6) heehee! I wont mind! I can do anything since Zoro is asleep!!

Please do come back, OVL-Chan.

P.S. Platypus Apple Sauce Lime Head Mariano, would fit, ne?

**Sanji**: One of my favorite fans, OVL-Chan

**Neon**: NEXT!!

* * *

**Dear Sanji-kun...and the other person.  
Erm Sanji-kun, just to let you know I'm not the huggest fan of the bitc-erm I mean Nami. She has her opinion, I have mine. (I must warn you, If I intend on smacking her please for your sake and mine, stop me.) Oh and by the way this Takono-chan is so not your most loyal fan! Hello! I'm here too! I plan on getting a tattoo of your curly eyebrow when I'm old enough! I listen to your songs everyday! I can so beat this Takono-chan! Gr...(bares teeth)  
Question? Oh yah question! My question for you is (ignores Nami)do you were casual clothes often? The only time I've seen you in causuals is right before the Water 7 arc. I remember exactly what you wore, dark teal t-shirt and dark wash jeans.  
Second question, yes I have a secound question! Um oh yah! I have this little problem at school wear these two freaking guys keep on tryin to 'grab' me! Seriously! They'd like supposively pass notes over me (I sit between them) and they make sudden moves to grab me! Can you whoop there butts for me?  
Third question, cause I love talking to you. Why the heck do you like Nami so much? (glares) She's...so whats the word I'm looking for...oh yah MEAN!!**

**That's it! For now, see how much of a fan I truely am! (gives a big loveable hug)  
(ignores Nami...snarls)  
Love,  
SKZS**

Dear my Beloved SKZS-Chan,

Don't argue with Nami-San! And besides, she isnt here!! so just dont mind her and lets talk...

Sigh! Don't worry, SKZS-Chan, You and Takono-Chan are the same, I just love both of you the way you both are!! You cant ask me who do I like more, because I like BOTH of you more!! Hehe, to me, SKZS-Chan, youre one of the BEST fan girls I have, like Takono-Chan!

Anyways, ahem. My answers…

1)hehe, not much, SKZS-Chan, I only wear them when my suits are in the washers!

2) Pick one, Quasi, Concasse, Anti Matter Kicking Course, Poitrine, Basses Cotes, Bouquetier Shoot, Clusseau or just all of them. All these kicks of mine can wallop their $&in' asses. I swear any guy with a shitty mind like that, I can kick them in the BALLS

**Zoro**: (sleep talking) look whos talking

**Sanji**: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, BAGERRO!!!

3) I like Nami-San because… shes Cute, Smart, Beautiful... LETS NOT TALK ABOUT HER!! ITS YOU AND ME!!

You are a GREAT fan girl, SKZS-Chan! MELLORINE!! GIVE ME A KISS INSTEAD!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

-your Idol, Sanji

**Neon**: wow, thats a nice insult for Nami-Chan!!

**Sanji**: ahh, SKZS-Chan…

**Neon**: tsk... Gallant

**Sanji**: NEXT LETTAH!!

* * *

**-captures Osama Bin Laden, turns world upside down by some tricky santoryu- Sanji! My favorite cook for life! Regardless of the fact, dart-board eyebrow, that I, as your sworn rival, Roronoa Zoro, am constantly fighting you after you interrupt my naps. Je t'adore! (random french) And especially your eyebrow. I hope you're taking good care of it. It's my favorite aspect about you.**

**Speaking of your eyebrow... let's get to the questions.  
1. You know how people sometimes have to wax their eyebrows? Is that applicable with yours? How does it maintain it's glorious curly-ness?  
2. Why is the sky blue?  
3. Do you love me, the Marimo?  
4. Do you think this bandana makes me look fat?  
5. Will you play Wii with me?  
6. What makes girls better than me, Sanji-kun? -chu-  
7. Do you like my haramaki?  
8. Can we have beef tonight for dinner? You know it's my favorite dish.  
9. I saw you at the beach with Apple Bomb the other day. To say the least, I'm a little jealous. How could you, Sanji? I thought you would only take romantic moon-lit walks on the beach with ME. **

**Although I would gladly declare my undying love for you, dear love-cook, I have to say that I, your beloved Marimo-chan, have to keep up appearances and keep up this silly facade of rivalry. Yeah, I see you, Nami. Don't give me that look. I'm going to be the world's greatest swordsman one day, and DON'T YOU FORGET IT! With that honorable title, I will win over my dear Sanji-kun.**

**BAI! LOL LOL LOL KTHX ROFL. Love, Marimo.**

Dear Marimo-Chan,

Nani?! Ehe, no im still not kissing Zoro…

Ahem, once again, my answers…

1)hehe, that's a secret… uhm… Marimo-Chan…

2) because… it aint red!

3) I Love You of Course!! Marimo-Chan!!

4) No Marimo-Chan… it makes you look cool.

5) whats a Wii? Ah, the one Neon showed me before. Yeah, sure Marimo…Chan…

6) No difference, Marimo-Chan, all my fangirls are treated Equals!!

7) yeah I do!

8) SURE!! YOU CAN HAVE STEAK!! MELLORINE!!

9) M-MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! WHAT TIME!? I CAN HAVE DATES ANY TIME!!!

Now its my turn to WRITE…

P.S. you remind me of Zoro being a female… I DON'T support Yaoi, but I consider you as my fan girl anyway!

**Sanji**: that's all?

**Neon**: yep!

**Sanji**: Wheres Nami anyway?

**Neon**: too late! She left for east blue!

**Zoro**: Nani?! Well! i gotta go! THEY LEFT ME BEHIND AGAIN!!

**Sanji**: Darn it… anyways, no dates today, so im staying here!!

**Drake**: hey, Neon.

**Neon**: NYAAH!! DRAKE!!

**Sanji**: hm?

**Drake**: let me take over.

**Neon**: s-s-s-sure! Drake-san!!

* * *

**Drake**: alright people, your former host, Neon is out for a while, and now IM taking over… 

**Drake**: now announcement to make, Chapter 7 coming up. And I'll make sure Ms. Nami-Chan will be here for our next edition. If she ain't, then Sanji fans, Takono-Chan, SKZS-Chan,OVL-Chan, Smallstream-Chan, and Apple Bomb-Chan, have a good talk with Sanji-San.

**Sanji**: you seem serious.

**Drake**: im never interested with talk shows anyways.

**Sanji**: heh, you'll enjoy the talk with me and my fans!

**Drake**: hope so, Sanji-San, I want to make my take over here interesting. Anyways, till next time. Adieu.

**Sanji**: MORE REVIEWS PLEASE!!


	7. Sanji Interview 6

Ask Sanji

Part 6

Drake: okay folks... bah. Im bored. You do the introductions, Sanji.

Sanji: okay! Ahem… Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to another new edition to Sanji Tonight! Now I, your star of the show will answer the following questions from fangirls!! Ahem, Drake, from who please?

Drake: Takono-Chan… again? And my, my. She has 30 questions and 6 P.S.'s.

Sanji: NNNAANI?!?! Hehe, she really loves me eh, Drake-san?

Drake: yeh, yeh, just get on with it.

* * *

**trust me on this. he does this to EVERY GIRL. even his sister. he wont even care what i say. HES A 7 YEAR OLD! why would you want him to torture another girl anyway? it scares me like hell. i'm scared to think of him as a 12 year old! HELP ME!(supah kawaii bambi eyes crying while hugging you)**

**(ahem SERIOUS MODE)**

**1) WE GOT A TIE IN THE "sanjis favorite fangirl" CONTEST HERE! WOO HOO WE GOT AN EQUAL! and i'm not the competitive type so calm down, SkZs.**

**2) AHAHAHAHA! THAT WAS HILARIOUS! WHAD I TELL YA?! POKE HIM THAT MUCH OR MORE AND HE'LL CRACK! AND YOUR WELCOME (i stick my tongue at zoro)**

**3)a ukelele is an instrument used in hawaii. (NEVER WEARING A HULA OUTFIT AGAIN) (shudder)**

**4) ZORO YOU ARE AN APPLE SAUCE-TOPPED PLATYPUS MARIANO MARIMO WITH A MENTAL PROBLEM!(i hope choppers done w/ that medicine for hopeless idiots)**

**5)why call it a lyle and pertie? did you copy that from "ridin' dirty" or "white and nerdy?**

**6)dont get jealous of chopper. i didnt say ur not the best cook!  
(grin)**

**7)ULTIMATE MASSAGE CHAIR BWAHAHAHAHA(referd to cell phones in ur pants)**

**8)franky mad at that? PFFT! i showed him and he yelled "COOL! MY OWN...um...TWIN!"**

**9) YAY I'M UR FAVORITE FANGIRL!(hugs u)**

**10)(aww crap... i didnt have breakfast...) and would you listen to shinzo? i said i didnt want a kiss. she just likes to mess with me and my brilliant yet amazing and so fantastic mind.**

**11)(reffering to 1) save me from the evil kid PWEEZ (bambi eyes so cute even ZORO cant resist)**

**12)trust me. i would have been ur fangirl sooner, if only my friends didnt make it seem like it was bad since youre...(how should i put this?)flirty and perverted? no offense. it is kinda cute tho cuz you act stupid and i'm gonna type question 13 cuz this is etting long**

**13)if you could have ANY JOB what would it be(besides cooking) (OR BEING A DOCTOR--i know what doctors check when i go there and THATS why i said no)**

**14)pinocchio...is THAT how you spell it?**

**15)imagine there was an "ask usopp"**

**16) what is it about women that you like(and dont say "femininity" cuz thats like luking at my chest. ew.)**

**17) recipe--peanut butter(creamy) and chocolate on a cake or cracker or something. or just get a reeses cup. it has chocolate and peanut butter**

**18) I BROKE MY QUESTION RECORD WOO HOO(now to see if i can get past 25)**

**19)what should i get shinzo 4 her bday party? i was thinking 1 CENT!**

**20)u like my pic update on youtube?**

**21)on ask zoro, he said his metal sword tastes like metal. i wanted to know what metal tastes like, so i tried it. ew... METAL IS NOT LIKE PIE!(pie is gud...)**

**22)should i try a sanji tribute video(like me x you) or keep doing sanji x nami? dont say "whatever my heart desires". thatd be even more confusing**

**23)I ACTUALLY GOT A TANGERINE FROM NAMIS TREE!**

**24)OWCH!**

**25)dammit, she hit me on my head with a mallet. now i owe her 100,0 beli.**

**26) ALMOST UP TO 30 QUESTIONS!**

**27) FEAR TEH QUESTION PILE UFF DOM!**

**28) are you sure i dont talk too much?**

**29)(hoping these questions annoy neon and drake) BWAHAHAHAHA**

**30) YAY 30 (throws confeti)**

**31) dammit. a question troll just stole my tangerine...(YAY I DONT HAVE TO PAY!)**

**32)now i'm out of questions. (you'd think i wouldda given up by now?)**

**--takono**

**p.s. YAY I'M SMART NOW THANX 4 TELLING ME!**

**p.s.s. YES a kiss + date BUT ONLY IF IT WORKS**

**p.s.s.s.THE LAND OF PAJAMAS IS COOL!**

**p.s.s.s.s.how about "platypus brained-jellyfished spined-green topped mariano marimo head"? (LOL I CRACK MYSELF UP)**

**p.s.s.s.s.s.wat do you think about lizards and snakes?**

**p.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.I THINK THEYRE COOL!**

**should usopp quit the mugiwara crew and join the circuis or freak show?**

**--takono**

dear my beloved Takono-Chan…

okay, that's it. That seven year old kid is getting on my freaking nerves!!

Drake! You suggest something!!

**Drake**: don't ask me! It's a question for YOU. Or don't tell me that o'l Sanji does not have anymore solution to this problem…

**Sanji**: ITS NOT THAT BAKA!! IM ASKING YOUR OPINION TO THE SITUATION!!

**Drake**: well, to me, the kid's retarded. He has a difficulty understanding MALE and FEMALE. And he does not mind what is he doing to his youth… tsk, wasting your youth for "Adultery". Its totally wrong. To me, the only thing he needs is a good understanding about HIMSELF.

Well, on my point of view, Takono-Chan, that kid needs a good spanking, and im not talking jokes here, that kid has a problem. And that problem is, understanding a girl. If that kid does not give a F--- about it, the kid needs counseling.

**Drake**: the kid's still a kid.

**Sanji**: so? He seriously needs a good change in life! I swear, a kid harassing a girl? I don't think so.

Takono-Chan, really, that kid has to learn a lesson, and to make him learn, you gotta show him who's boss…

**Drake**: tsk. That routine, eh?

Control the kid, show him you're higher than him don't let him take you down by touching you or saying shitty things, show him you are the boss, and he'll follow you. You know, to make him follow you, bribe him or to things that'll make him feel bad… I swear, while I was in Baratie, I had one annoying customer named Fullbody? I made him feel bad, then look what happended, he smashed the table in two. Yeah, he thought he was strong with his so-called Iron-Fist, tsk. I beat that bastard to a pulp. Do the same way what I did! But this time, YOU make him feel bad, if he fights back at you, show him who's boss…

**Drake**: well, what if there is NOTHING that can make him feel bad?

**Sanji**: then he only likes Takono-Chan? NOO WAY, kiddo. Takono-Chan is MINE.

**Drake**: what if he REALLY does not have anything that can make him feel bad?

**Sanji**: give me your Email Address, Takono-Chan. Im gonna give him a chat of his life.

Anyways, ahem. The questions. (that's quite a long one)(and im not on serious mode, Takon-Chan, only when theres trouble.)

1)as I said, Takono-Chan, ALL my fan girls are treated equal!

2) anymore things I can do to Zoro? Tell me! Takono-Chan!

3) aw. Its an instrument. I thought I was another type of bug. And YOU'RE afraid of Ukeleles?

4) give me more names and I can expand that for you!

5) hey! How did you know! Aahh! Takono-Chan is ssoo genius!! MELLORINE!!

6) sniff. It sounds like an insult, Takono-Chan…

7) youre convincing me more, Takono-Chan… I'll try 40 of them. ALL OVER MY BODY!! Wonder how does that feel!!

8) Franky? Not mad? A miracle! He always gets mad at me when I do Cheddar…

9) of course you are, Takono-Chan… MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

10) I DON'T MIN SHINZO-CHAN!! YOU HAVE A BRILLIANT, AMAZING and FANTASTIC MIND?! TAKONO-CHAN!! YOURE SOO COOOLLL!!! MELLORINE!!

11) S…So… KAWAII!! Hrmph. (turns serious) if it does not work, Takono-Chan. Take Drakes Email-Add so I can chat with that kid. Give me yours too, okay?

**Drake**: why mine?!

**Sanji**: you think a pirate like me HAVE AN EMAIL?!

**Drake**: fine. JUST CHECK MY PROFILE AND CLICK EMAIL ADD, THEN TAKE IT!!!

**Sanji**: Drake, you will teach me how to chat, wont you?

**Drake**: sure I will, so I can get that 3 chapter year old problem done with.

**Sanji**: arigatou!! Ey Takono-Chan, ONLY take the E-mail when answer # 1 DOES NOT WORK.

12) ha! Many girls say that! But you see how much good I am? And I love you as my Fangirl!! So don't follow what they say, because soon you will find out how cool your sexy pirate cook I am!

13) a restaurant owner!

14) yep! YOURE VERY SMART TAKONO-CHAN!! MELLORINE!!

15) hehaha! I'll insult him all I like if there was!!

16) heh, their Natural Beauty, Takon-Chan. and im NOT LOOKING AT YOUR CHEST!!! IM NOT A PERVERT!!

17) ARIGATOU GOZAIMAS!! Hmmm… a new recipe… maybe I can add it to black forest cake!

18) KEEP IT COMING, TAKONO-CHAN!!

19) maybe a picture of you and me is fine!

20) SPARKY, TAKONO-CHAN!! I LOVE IT!!

21) hah! Im better than Zoro it means!!

22) hmm… time for a change, I want to see myself with one of my FAVORITE FANGIRLS!!!

23) aaah! Nami's gonna get mad at you!!!

24 & 25) oh?? NAMI-SAN!! DON'T HURT TAKONO-CHAN!!

26) MAKE IT 40!! I LOVE YOU TAKONO-CHAN!!

27) I DON'T MIND TAKONO-CHAN!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

28) You don't… Takono-Chan, I love the way you talk!

29) oy, Drake-san, are you?

**Drake**: ne, I wasn't looking at the questions. Sorry.

30) MELLORINE!! SHES SOO COOL!! MELLORINE!! 30 QUESTIONS!!

31) AWWW!! THAT SUCKS!!

-your beloved Sanji

P.S. you are, Takono-Chan, don't thin dumb, if anyone called you dumb, tell me.

P.S.S. don't worry, Takono-Chan, if it wont work, take Drake-San's Email, and I'll give him a talk. PERSONALLY.

P.S.S.S. AAHH TAKONO-CHAN!!! I DON'T GET WHAT YOURE SAYING! But ILL SAY IT TOO!! LAND OF PAJAMAS ARE COOL!! MELLORINE!!

P.S.S.S.S. platypus brained-jellyfished spined-green topped mariano marimo head? EXTEND IT, MY SWEET TAKONO-CHAN!! MELLORINE!!

P.S.S.S.S.S. good for cooking and they're REAAALL juicy!!

P.S.S.S.S.S.S I KNOW THEY ARE, TAKONO-CHAN!!

Hehe, let him play as Buggy the second. Haha!!

**Drake**: tsk, I swear, if all those questions reach 50, im gonna shout, WTF!! GET OUTTA HERE!! But now, im really patient.

**Sanji**: uhm, Drake-San, you will, wont you?

**Drake**: yeah! Yeah! I will teach you how to chat!!

**Sanji**: okay. Whos next?

**Drake**: Keisha-chan.

**Sanji**: O? hehe! One of my beloved Fans!!

* * *

**Dear Sanji-kun,  
Yes,Keisha-Chan will do.As long as I know you're talking to me and not a different one.So confused.Anyways,question time.**

**1)My friend is a MAJOR Sanji fan.She has a poster of you in her room and I have no idea how she got it.Would you go out with her?And if you said yes the date would be a 7:00.  
2)Personally I think you'd be good at soccer but,what is your favorite sport?  
3)If you were a cookie what kind would you be?**

**Well,that's all I got this time.And yes,I do like cherry pie.And wouldn't you just cook for Nami yourself since your cooking IS the best?**

**-Smallstream**

Dear Keisha-Chan,

Okay, ahem, my answers…

1) WAHH!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! 7:00? IM THERE!! Uhm. What about you Keisha-Chan, don't you want a date?

2) you guessed it, Keisha-Chan! Baseball AND Soccer. YOURE SO GOOD AT GUESSING!! MELLORINE!!

3) a cookie YOU like to eat, Keisha-Chan!

Voila! Cherry pie for you… and yea, I love cooking for Nami-San…

-Sanji-kun

P.S. HELLO, KEISHA-CHAN!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

**Drake**: that's short. Heh.

**Sanji**: Drake-San, who's next??

**Drake**: Apple Bomb.

**Sanji**: ahh, the one who started the Sexy Pirate Cook address…

* * *

**Dear Sanji-san/Sexy pirate cook-san,**

I'm back. For...a second time. :D (I can't help it! This is fun!)Yay! Nami-san's finally here?

**1. I was in a biology room at school today, and I looked out the window and thought I saw you walking across the street. But it was just a guy with blonde hair like yours, wearing a blue shirt and black pants (but both of his eyes were showing and he didn't have a curly eyebrow.). A car almost ran into him. You wouldn't happen to have a twin, would you? .**

**2. I have to take a Japanese final test on Monday. Quick! Teach me all the Japanese you know! (My Japanese teacher reminds me of Robin-san. And I've never seen my teacher's ears. :O)**

**3. My cat acts like a dog, especially when I rub his tummy. Maybe he was a dog in his past life?**

**4. Out of all the words in your vocabulary, pick your top ten favorite words.**

**5. Do you know how to parapara? How about Jumpstyle?**

**6. Nami-san!! I like your hair. . I have almost the same style, but just a little longer, and the ends don't curl as much. How do you get it to curl?**

**7. Some friends came over yesterday, and three of the guys squeezed into girl shorts out of my closet (one had the shorts around his knees because they were too tight xD) and jumped into the pool. And then one ripped off his shorts like the Hulk. Dx I laughed, but why would guys DO something like that?! Now, besides my shirts, people are destroying my shorts! O: Luckily, I have your wardrobe. xD**

**8. My mom likes to research family history, and I found out that I'm related to a pirate: Stede Bonnet. He was known as the "gentleman pirate." The title made me think of you.**

**9. My cousin says she wants to marry you when she grows up. She's 13 at the moment. But her older brother forbids her from it. He's your age.**

**10. Please help me catch Pandaman? I promise to give you a very good reward! -wink- ;)**

**My cat just jumped on the desk and started rubbing up against the computer screen and my face...Now he left cat hair everywhere. Fortunately for you, I'll have to stop bombarding you with questions now, clean the computer screen, and prepare for the rest of my finals. It's my last weekend before summer break! Kiss me good luck, sexy pirate cook!**

**Love,  
Apple Bomb**

**(PS-Marimo-chan would have to bring you to my house to play the Wii! She doesn't have one. She'll battle you in "Cooking Mama!" xD)**

Dearest Apple Bomb-Chan (damn I just LOVE the way she addresses me Sexy Pirate Cook!!),

Im sorry, Apple Bomb-Chan Nami-San isn't here. Probably delayed…

1) ne! I never had a twin!! But seeing me in real life is cool, eh?

2) heh. I would, Apple Bomb-Chan, but you know about test Leakage? I don't want you to be in trouble, Apple Bomb-Chan… just good luck and be your self! R-Robin-San?!?! Eeh… I still cant cheat, Apple Bomb-Chan!!

3) nani? Hehe, maybe it IS a dog. And its past life is a cat… hehe

4) hmmm…MELLORINE!!!...Platypus… Old Fart… shit heads… shitty… a$$hole…

**Drake**: okay, this is getting peachy, the rest is bad words, okay, Apple Bomb-Chan?

5) hmm. Im never used to your world yet… so I'll try it out…

6) tsk, sadly, Nami-San isn't here. If she was, she'll make a comment about it.

7) hehe, now I have no shorts to wear! But I still have my suits… have all my casuals if you like, Apple Bomb-Chan!!

8) heh, maybe this Stede Bonnet is related to me!! Hehe, if it was a coincidence…

9) ANYTIME!! But, I don't want to get married! What about you, Apple Bomb-Chan… will you MARRY me in the future?

10) WAAHH!! SURE!! TELL ME WHERE HE IS AND HE'LL BE IN THE FRONT DOOR FOR YOU!! WHAT REWARD?! TELL ME!!

MELLORINE!! SHE LET ME KISS HERR!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! (kisses) GUD LUCK! APPLE BOMB-CHAN!! I LOVE YOU!!!

-the Sexy Pirate Cook.

P.S. HAH! I'll show you my cooking skills in that game!! Tell me what time and I'll be there!!

**Drake**: ookay. Next up, maria-Chan

**Sanji**: oh! Another new one eh?

* * *

**Dear Sanji,**

**1.If Nami told you she would kiss you but you would have to waste ten full plates of your own food, would you do it? Oh yeah, and if you didn't throw away the food she would starting crying.(I know she would never do that, but I love screwing with your mind...even if it already is screwed up)**

**2.Do you love all women? Or do you only love/flirt with only the attractive ones?(I mean, if you do, that's really shallow)**

**3.By the 10th chapter how long will Zoro's Platypus Apple Sauce Mariano nickname thing be?**

**4.If Robin told you to wax your eyebrows(assuming you have two) and cut your bangs would you do it?**

**Sincerely,  
Maria**

Dear Maria-Chan,

Ahem! My answers…

1) I WILL DO IT FOR NAMI-CHAN!! NO MATTER WHAT!! And I don't throw away food. Im a CHEF. And chefs don't waste food. And my mind isn't screwed up!!

2) I LOVE ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!

3) hehe, if you give me some names, then It'll be 40 words long!!

4) I WOULD!! But girls will hate me more if my curly brows and bangs are gone… sigh…

-Sanji-kun

**Drake**: THAT'S better. Short and sweet.

**Sanji**: I KNEW you were annoyed.

**Drake**: what ever… 3 more to go.

**Sanji**: WHOOOOO?!

**Drake**: SkZs-Chan.

**Sanji**: Ahh! The equivalent to Takono-Chan!! ha!

* * *

**Sanji-kun,  
Ahh Sanji-kun, I'm happy now. :) I feel better now, about what you said. I'll be sure to tell those guys what you said. I'm not angry about the Takono-chan thing anymore, I was being competative again. I tend to do that a lot, it comes with being and athletic swimmer. Plus any fan of Sanji is a friend of mine! (ignores Nami, even if she is not here)  
Alright questions, I have a lot of questions today! Cause I am happy!**

**1. You are not afraid to wear pink, right?  
2. Do you ever wonder how can Usopp live with such a huge nose?  
3. Would you ever reject a girl? Regardless of not being totally attractive?  
4. Where you disgusted or surpised when you found out Kokoro was mermaid?  
5. Do you think that if we can blame guns on killing people, than I can blame my pencil on my spelling errors?  
6. If we are too open minded, than our brains would fall out, right?  
7. Do you know french?  
8. Have you read my poem about you and Nami? He held his hand out to me? I have no idea what I was thinking, oh well I thought it was nice.  
9. Why do you still smoke? Is it just a habit because I'm pretty sure you're old enough to know smoking does NOT mean you're a man. If it did, Usopp would probably have lung cancer by now.  
10. Why did you start smoking at such a young age?**

**That's all I can think of right now. Oh and oh course I will kiss you! (kisses)**

**(P.S. If your bored tonight, I'm free.) **

Dear my beloved SkZs-Chan,

Good! I don't like seeing you two fight over me! Its… disturbing… as I said for the 3rd time, all of my fan girls are treated equal! And you're very welcome for what I said to you, it those two guys bug you again, tell me.

Now, ANSWER TIME!!

1)nah. Pink makes you look like a guy. (but not Zoro! pink hair? I don't think so…)

2) hehe, he kept on lying! And that's his fault! PINNOCHIO!!

3) NEVER!! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, SkZs-Chan!!

4) both at the same time, SkZs-Chan. and I hated it! Besides, If I married her, we would have like what? Mer-babies?! Yuk!

5) heh, you can say that!

6) no! that's too impossible!! (only if you're having brain surgery, yea, it would, but literally? NO!) If you are open minded, then you have common sense.

7) as a matter a fact I do! Notice why my kicks are French words!

8) I'LL READ IT!! Gomenasai Gozaimas if I didn't… BUT YOURE A POET?! WOW!! SKZS-CHAN IS SO TALENTED!! MELLORINE!!

9) heh, I makes me have a "calm" feeling whenever im in situations.and im always in situations… And im cooler that way, ne? HAHA!! AND USOPP SMOKING?! HE'D DIE BY THEN!! HAHA!!

10) some person influenced me to… but I didn't regret. Is kinda fun! But DON'T YOU SMOKE, SKZS-CHAN!! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!! (cries)

KISS?! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! (receives kiss) WAAAHHH!! IM IN LOVE!! (faints)

-your beloved Sanji

P.S. you WANA DATE!? LETS GOO!!

**Drake**: OO that's too much…

**Sanji**: …… I got a kiss from SkZs-Chan!! and a DATE!!

**Drake**: okay, two more to go!

**Sanji**: WHO NEXT?!

**Drake**: Shinzomating.

**Sanji**: AHH! Takono-Chan's best friend!

* * *

**dear sanji,  
I really need you to go out with takono!she is my bff and she really needs a date!oh and heres my questions:  
1. Ace is sexier than you  
2. Zoro is my onii-chan so dont beat him up plz!  
3. Whats that spider doing on your head??  
-shinzomating  
ps  
ace is sexier than you**

Dear Shinzomating-Chan,

D-DATE?! T-TAKONO-CHAN?! I WILL!! WHAT TIME,PLACE?!

1) NOO! IM MORE HOTTER AND SEXIER!!!

2) I didn't beat him up, Shinzomating-Chan, I only irritated him! Hehe!

3) NANI?! ANOTHER ONE!! IT'S THE THIRD ONE THIS WEEK!!!! NOOOO!! GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!!

**Drake**: tsk. (removes spider and throws it away.)

-Sanji

P.S. **NEVER!!! LUFFY LOOK-ALIKE IS NEVER HOTTER THAN ME!!**

**Drake**: last one!

**Sanji**: hey, another new one! Who is it?

**Drake**: Lady…of the Panda Pirates?

**Sanji**: IS IT A PRETTY LADY?!??

**Drake**: find out your self!

* * *

**Oi Sanji-kun,  
(glomps) Sorry 'bout that. I can't help myself, 'cause you're just so hawt and sweet and cute and the best cook and the most kick ass pirate! So, I'm just going to ask you a few questions. All right, here we go!**

**1. What do you do when you're not cooking or picking up chicks?  
2. What's you're favorite flavour of ice-cream?  
3. You seem to know quite a bit of French, can you speak it fluently?  
4. Besides any of the females, who do you get along with the best on the "Going Merry"?  
5. For a pirate crew you guys are really clean, who usually cleans the ship?  
6. Which do you prefer, Chess or Checkers?  
7. What was the worst food you've ever eaten?  
8. I baked an appel pie yesterday, and it tasted really good, arn't you proud of me? XD  
9. What is your favorite color?  
10. Besides Zoro, who is the most annoying on the "Going Merry"?  
11. Snuggling together on a beach or snuggling together on a ship?  
12. Do you ever wish you were the captain?  
13. Boxers or briefs?  
14. Which is the coolest of the following: werewolvs, vampires, zombies, or ghosts?  
15. Can anyone else on the ship cook? Even just a little?  
16. Can I be you're guys' pirate musician? I can play the piano, guitar and I can sing!  
17. Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a pirates life for me! But what about you're other fangirls? A priates life for them?  
18. Choose you're favorite: the Sun, the Moon, the stars, or the clouds?  
19. Do you want to hear a joke? Here it goes...  
A ruler was trying to inspire his subjects to work harder, so one day he gave an inspirational speech in the center of the town, standing on a stage he had constructed for the occasion. At the end of the speech he asked everyone to come stand on the stage if they thought they were worthless. No one moved. Then after a moment a boy climbed up, and the ruler asked him if he thought he was worthless. The little boy replied, 'no majesty, but I thought you looked lonely standing there all by yourself.'  
So, was it funny? I hope so!  
20. What would you give a lady as a gift?**

**That's all I have for now Sanji-kun, but I'll be back. Oh, and I'm free tonight (wink)! Oh, and you can call me Panda if you want to! Just so you know Ace and Zoro are my buddies, but you're still my absolute favorite pirate ever!**

**Love and hugs and glomps and tons of kisses,  
Panda**

Dear Panda-Chan (whee! It sounds so cute!!)

WAAH!! Im the most kick ass cook (whoa! I also like this address) ever!! Thanks for the compliment!!

AHEM!! Answer time…

1)I smoke.

2) hehe, any of them! Mostly vanilla, Panda-Chan

3) yep. Old fart taught me how to use kicks with French names. Cool, eh? Panda-Chan?

4) Luffy. Even though thes annoying at times…

5) Usopp.

6) Chess, Panda-Chan, Quite an interesting game actually. I beat Drake-San 27 times!!

**Drake**:… (blush) AH SHADDAP!!

7) Nothing. I love all kinds of foods!!

8) WAHH!! PANDA-CHAN IS A GREAT COOK LIKE ME!! MELLORINE MELLORINE!!

9) any light color is okay.

10) Luffy and Usopp. But Zoro is still the MOST annoying.

11) On a Ship, Panda-Chan, its hot on the beach. Um BTW… wanna snuggle up on Going Merry?

12) no. being a crew member is enough for me, Panda-Chan.

13) Boxers. Its like im wearing shorts. Panda-Chan

14) I AM THE COOLEST!!

15) nope. Only me, Panda-Chan.

16) WAHH!! PANDA-CHAN IS SO MULTI TALENTED!!! MELLORINE!! I'LL ASK LUFFY!! WE NEED A MUSICIAN!!

17) well, I don't think so. But you? A pirate life for you? COOL!! YOURE SO COOL PANDA-CHAN!! MELLORINE!!

18) Sun? Too hot… Moon? Too dark… Stars? Infinity… Clouds? Brings rain… I say STARS, Panda-Chan! Stars are INFINITY!!

19) ooo! A joke!! (reads joke) HAHAHA!! WHAT A QUEEN!! B-but at least the kid's got r-respect HAHAHA!!

**Drake**: AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (falls on the floor, laughing)

**Sanji**: Whoa! You made Drake-San laugh!! For the first time!!

**Drake**: I mean… ahem (sits back to his seat, looking serious.) you said something?

**Sanji**: whatever.

20) My stylish cooking, Panda-Chan. you want some? I'LL GLADLY GIVE YOU!!

I LOVE CALLING YOU PANDA-CHAN!! **AND YOURE FREE TONIGHT?!?! **LETS HAVE A DATE!!!!!!

-Sanji-Kun

P.S. LETS GO OUT SOMEWHERE!!

**Drake**: oky Sanji, go to your 4 dates.

**Sanji**: FINISHED?!?! YYYYYEEEHHHAWWW!!! (runs out) WHERE ARE YOU GIRLS!!

**Drake**: four dates? HOW does he do it??

**

* * *

**

**Drake**: okay people, that's all for today… Well, from now on, I, Drake, will take over this column. Let Neon have his own fun. It seems that he is doing some fictions about Sanji's Fangirls in this column. Gud job anyways… okay. Sanji Fangirls, wait for the next edition of… Ask Sanji. Bye…

**Vansessa**: Drake-Sannn!!

**Drake**: (turns Lovey Dovey) WAHHHH!! VANESSA-CHAN!!!

**Vanessa: **come, lets go!!

**Drake**: WAHHH!! IM COMING VANESSA-CHAN!! BYE FOLKS!! MORE REVIEWS PLEASE!!


	8. Sanji Interview 7

Ask Sanji

Part 6

**Drake**: ………

**Sanji**: oy! You awake?!

**Drake**: ……… (BIG smiley face)

**Sanji**: sheesh! Anyways!! Welcome to another episode of Ask Sanji in Sanji Tonight!! Well, Drake here seems too happy to speak, reason? I dunno. Anyways since he's too happy I'll be glad to answer the questions from my fans!!

**Drake**: ………

**Sanji**: er… yeah. First one! Ahh! My beloved Takono-Chan! eh? Weird. For the first time its short…

* * *

**hi sanji kun(ok drake, i wont ask 50 questions but CALM DOWN OR ELSE -holds up fist-**

**1.cant you just kick the kids ass? PLEASSE**

**2.THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! (supah hug**

**3.so just to stop SOMEONE from annoying me, (glares at shinzo) 7:00 at the beach? we could stay 'till sunset.**

**4.GO LLAMAS! THEY RULE!**

**5.can you tap dance?**

**6. can you speak french?**

**gotta go. HAPPY DRAKE?! I KEPT IT UNDER 7 QUESTIONS!**

**--takono**

Dearest my Beloved Takono-Chan…

Hehe, don't worry about Drake getting mad. He's too happy to speak… I don't know what reason but anyways… ANSWER TIME!!

well, you said yourself it wouldn't work, but SURE. IM GETTING FEDUP WITH THAT KID!! RIGHT DRAKE-SAN?

**Drake**: ……… (still smiling)

**Sanji**: never mind. But Takono-Chan, are you sure? I might kick him so hard his WHOLE SPINE can break!! (if you say yes, where's your house and I'll kick him)

2) (receives SUPAH HUG) gaahh! That's too tight!! Okay!! Okay!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!! You're welcome!!

3) YOSHA!!! I GOT A DATE FROM TAKONO-CHAN!!! MELLORINE!!! MELLORINE!!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!! THE BEACH?! WAAAAAHH!! IM IN LOVE!!

4) HAHA!! THEY DO!! GO LLAMA!! GOOOO!!!

5) if my shoes don't squeak, that is.. hehe

6) fluent. I only use French on my kicks. Okay, Takono-Chan?

GOOD BYE, TAKONO-CHAN!!! I LOVE YOUU!! Um, don't worry about Drake. He's still too happy to speak…

-your most Beloved Sanji-Kun.

P.S. NA-NANI?! T-Takono-Chan… I'm going to cry… but I'm still happy! In our date, just give me one kiss okay?? ARIGATOU!!

**Sanji**: Okay!! (excited) heehee!! I got a date with Takono-Chan!! WHEEEE!!! (jumps around)

**Drake**: ……… (still smiling)

**Sanji**: eh? (stops) tsk. HEY!! WAKE UP!!!

**Drake**: ……… (still)

**Sanji**: anyways… next… SHINZOMATING-CHAN!! Takono-Chan's Best Friend!!

* * *

**dear sanji  
1. ace is sexier than you  
2. takono says ur super cute!she also lyks it when you play ddr! she thinks its sexi!!  
3. ace is sexier than u  
-shinzomating aka kurry**

Dear Kurry-Chan,

AHEEEMMM. My answers…

1)NO!! LUFFY-LOOK-ALIKE ISNT AS HOT AS ME!! NOOOOOOO!!! HE IS NOT!!!

2) tell her SHES KAWAII TOO!! MELLORINE!! She does?! MELLORINE!! I think she's se… I mean… KAWAII TOO!!!

3) NOO!! HE IS NOT!! YOU WANT PROOF?! IM GONNA EVEN TAKE OF MY CLOTHES TO SHOW YOU HOW HOT AND SEXY I AM THAN LUFFY-LOOK-ALIKE!! LOOK CLEARLY AND IM HOT AND SEXY!!!

-Sanji-Kun

P.S. NO HE IS STILL NOT HOTTER THAN I AM!! I AM HOTTER!! I AM SEXIER!! I AM!! **I AM!!**

**Sanji**: WHY IS SHE COMPARING ME WITH LUFFY-LOOK ALIKE?!?! I HATE IT!!

**Drake**: ……… (STILL smiling.)

**Sanji**: that's it. BASSES (pulls back right leg) COTTES!!! (kicks Drake HARD on the face, soccer style) WAKE UP YOU BAGERRO!!!!

**Drake**: eh,wha…? OW!! MY FACE!! DAMN IT SANJI, YOUR STEEL TIPPED SHOES CAN KILL ME!!

**Sanji**: SO?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THE WHOLE TIME, SMILING LIKE LUFFY EATING 200 TONS OF MEAT?!?!

**Drake**: (turns serious) tsk, just shut up and get on with the letters. And DON'T MIND ME!! (turns away)

**Sanji**: tsk, hard egg. Anyways, NEXT LETTAH!! Oh! Keisha-Chan!

* * *

**Dear Sanji-kun,  
Uh,thanks and I guess a date would be nice.And my favorite type of cookie is a sugar cookie.Anyways,questions.**

**1)Who do you lie better Takono-Chan or SkZs-Chan?Or anyone else.  
2)Which of the dishes that you cooked would you consider your best?  
3)Which do you prefer,Co Co Puffs or Rice Crispies?  
4)What's your favorite color?  
5)Which one,sneakers or sandals?**

**Thank you for the pie,Sanji-kun.You up for a soccer match?Me and you one on one!**

Dearest Keisha-Chan

Guess?! A date with me is REALLY NICE!! Sugar Cookie, eh? Then im yours!! Keisha-Chan! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

Ahem, answers…

1)hehehaha!! What if I suddenly say anyone else… curiuous… heh. Just kidding. I like both of them in the EQUAL, Keisha-Chan. how about you? Do you want to be part of my EQUALLY-Loved Fan Girls? (SAY YES, PLEASE!!)

2) all of my cookings are the best, Keisha-Chan, the best that any girl/lady/women would like… do you want some, Keisha-Chan?

3) Co-Co Puffs!! It has an excellent chocolate flavor!! Even how it makes the milk chocolate…

4) any light color is nice, Keisha-Chan, you?

5) sneakers stink at times, Keisha-Chan, so I say Sandals. I just love the way the warm sand comes through it! you, Keisha-Chan, what do you say?

You're welcome, Keisha-Chan, one of my best talents anyways is baking a pie… and Sure!! I'll take it easy on you, since my leg is a bit too strong… XD hehe, bye! Keisha-Chan!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

-Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: Apple Bomb-Chan is next…

**Sanji**: DID I ASK YOU?!? WHY THE HELL DID YOU SPOIL THE SUSPENSE?!

**Drake**: I WANNA GET THIS OVER WITH!! I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT AFTER THE SHOW!!

**Sanji**: tsk. Don't make me kick you. Anyways, let me read the letter…

* * *

**Sexy Pirate Cook!**

**"heh, maybe this Stede Bonnet is related to me!!"--Meep! I hope not! I don't want to have crush on my relative!!**

**"What about you, Apple Bomb-Chan… will you MARRY me in the future?" Yes! Of course, Sexy Pirate Cook:D**

**Pandaman always seems to be wherever your crew is--I can't tell you the reward until you capture him! It'll ruin the suprise!**

**-**

**1. I don't like the Kool-Aid guy. He owes me a wall.**

**2. When you have a heart eye, does it affect your vision at all?**

**3. (Out of the blue, but...) If you can speak French, does that mean you know how to French kiss, too? xD**

**4. If you had the chance to be a girl for just one day, would you take it? What would you do? (Marimo-chan wants to know about this, too.)**

**6. You're really good at boosting a fangirl's self-esteem, y'know. Thank you!**

**7. Can you make red bean buns for me? They're my favorite, Sanji-san!**

**8. Is Luffy jealous of all the food you've been making for your fangirls?**

**9. Do you think you'd make a good cowboy? I think you would look cool.**

**10. I'm going to get laughed at for this, but I learned how to draw you! (Sort of.)The picture is in my profile. I'm still practicing, so it isn't that great. D:**

**11. -determined face- Okay! Here I go: Mell...o..rine...? It doesn't sound right when I say it. XP**

**12. Are you feeling lonely at all right now? I am. ;.;**

**I'm a silly, obsessed girl. I know. I ask too much. :P**

**Love,  
Apple Bomb/Sarah ♥**

Dearest Sarah-Chan (WAAHH!! I'M NEVER USED TO Sexy Pirate Cook!! I LOVE IT!!),

Sarah-Chan, ooohh. You have a crush on me!! Okay, then im NOT related to Stede Bonnet! Maybe I can say he's my friend!!

M-M-MELLORINE!! I GOT A WIFE-TO-BE!! WAHH!! IM IN LOVE!!

Heh, don't worry, o'l Pandaman will be caught with the wink of an eye…

Answer time… ahem…

1)Kool-Aid? Who's that? But if he does owe you something, im gonna make him pay it back!

2)probably. The only thing I see with my heart eyes is… THE LADY IM STARING AT!! And it's a very bad disadvantage… tsk. I still remember Mr. 2… how he confused me of Nami-Chan and got hurt lots of times… (sighs)

3)do you want to see if its true? (winks)

4) no, I don't like to be a girl. But I want to be a girl…LOVER!!

5) WAAHH!! MELLORINE!!! MELLORINE!! JUST TELL ME WHEN THEN IM THERE!!! MELLORINE!!

6) you're welcome! Heh, seems that this column is really effective now…

7) ANYTHING FOR SARAH-CHAN!! IT SHALL BE DONE FOR YOU!!

8) heh, yeah, as a matter of fact, he's shouting "SANJII!! WHAT ABOUT MEEEEE?!?!" outside the building!

9) howdy, Sarah-Chan. how does that sound?

10) WAHH!! SARAH-CHAN KNOWS HOW TO DRAW MEE!! SO TALENTED!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! SOO COOL!! Neon knows how to draw me too, you know? Hehe… (wonders if Drake does too) Keep practicing, Sarah-Chan, and soon you'll have me there!

11) its like this… (holds breath)(then) MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! Light-toned, no cracks on the voice and should be a high-pitch light tone. Don't be afraid, just say it out! But good job anyway, Sarah-Chan! SOO TALENTED!! SHE CAN COPY MEE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

12) aww, that's sad… hey! How bout a date?! Can you!?

You're not silly! And you don't ask too much! I just love the way you are, Sarah-Chan!! Even though if there are 4568794372948 questions, IM GONNA ANSWER THEM ALL FOR YOU!!!

-returns love, Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: then… the next one is…

**Sanji**: SkZs-Chan! I KNOW, JUST STOP SAYING BEFORE ME!! NOW ZIP IT!!

**Drake**: okay, okay, JUST HURRY UP!! I WANNA END THIS SOON!!

**Sanji**: BE PATIENT, BAGERRO!! BOUQUETIER SHOOOOT!! (Kicks Drake HIGH to the sky) ahem, back to the letter…

* * *

**Sanji-kun (for the third flipping time!!)  
Sorry I had to redo my letter 3 times! Once because I accidently canceled out of it, second time because I was going to another review for another thing but it just exited it out again! Third time because I had to leave and go to my BFF's house!! Im going to kill this freaking computer! **

**(calms down)**

**Ok ok I'm calm...**

**1. Can you give my friend here and explaination of why you are soo freaking awesome and sexy? She doesn't believe me.  
2. Explain you height to me please, your 5'9'' but you look like you should be more than 6 foot. My brother is 5'9'' but that is considered short for his age. Is it just a japanese thing?  
3. Do you consider Zeff like a father figure?  
4. When Califa kicking you in the balls, did it teach you a lesson about protecting open areas? It looked like it hurt really bad. (I really wanted to hurt her when I saw that)  
5. Same question like before but different scenero. In movie 5, you fought Zoro and received a shoulder injury. But before that he gave you a little speech about fighting a swordsman. Did you learn a lesson about that?(I admire you ability to take pain though)**

**That's all I really have. If you want a discription of my friend she's mexican, 5'8'' (so tall I'm only 5'3''), shoulder lengh brown hair, and super thin. Just to help get a picture in your head. Oh and thank Neon for the review on my peom!**

**-Love SKZS**

Dearest my Beloved SkZs-Chan,

If you kill your computer, how will you communicate with me?! (sad face) ANYWAYS, ANSWER TIME!! HAHA!!

1) okay, friend of SkZs-Chan, listen up. The reason why im awesome is because of 5 main reasons… 1) im a good cook 2) I work out with my feet and I don't get fat 3) Im a LADIES MAN!! 4) I have my 2 trademarks, the curly brow and the bangs on my head and FINALLY 5) IM HOTTER THAN PORTGAS D. ACE!! Hope that makes that clear… hehe.

2)most infos in the internet isnt true so don't trust them. Heh and im actually 6'2". wow, your brother is that tall? Nice! And no, its not a Japanese thing. Its just a matter of growing tall by working out, eating, fighting, etc.

3) more or less. More, because he helped me survive during that, isolated island, he made me 2nd chef of Baratie, and almost gave me everything so I can live and attain my dream of finding All-Blue. LESS, because he keeps on calling me "string bean" "undeveloped eggplant" and "stupid bean" and those 147 kicks he gave me while is was on Baratie. HE SHOULD THANK ME FOR I SAVED HIS OLD WRINKLED **ASS** FROM BEING WALLOPED BY DON KRIEG AND HIS SHITTY CREW!!!!

4) tsk. And until now it hurts. Yeah, I've learned a lesson. Im now putting extra boxers and briefs to prevent my… ahem… from getting hurt again. AWWW!! SKZS-CHAN CARES FOR ME!! SO KIND!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!! I LOVE YOU!!

5) yeah. I did. In case I fight PLATYPUS APPLE SAUCE LIME HEAD MARIANO MARIMO again, im ready for him anytime. But I only save that lesson he taught me when HE only fights me. No one else, SkZs-Chan…

WAAHH! ANOTHER GIRL?! TELL HER TO SEND A POST HERE!! I'D GLADLY TALK TO HER!! MELLORINE!! And Neon is still out there? Heh, kidding, he says you're welcome, SkZs-Chan…

-returns love, Sanji-Kun.

**Drake**: One more and we're done. AND HURRY UP ANSWERING THEM!!

**Sanji**: Shut up or else. Anyways. Hey!! This Is new!

* * *

**Hi Sanji-kun! -glomps and kisses- I have questions and names for Zoro.**

**1. These are the names: Guacamole (did I spell that right?) head, barf brain, and mold boy.  
2. Can I have a date like the other fan-girls?!?!  
3. I LOVE YOU!  
4. Am I annoying, cause I think Mol Boy thinks that...**

**-ArtemisBlack555**

Dear ArtemisBlack555,

Wow, more names?! COOL!! Okay I'll try them out now… Platypus Barf Brain Lime Head Mold Boy Guacamole Head Apple Sauce Mariano Marimo… WAHH!! SUCCESS!! ARIGATOU GOZAIMAS, ARTEMIS-CHAN!!

Anyways… Answers…

2) YES!! YOU CAN!! YOSHA!! ANOTHER DATE!!!! I LOVE YOU!!

3) I LOVE YOU TOO, ARTEMIS-CHAN!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

4) No, you are not annoying! I Just Love the Way you are!! MELLORINE!! WHOS MOL BOY?! IM GONNA KICK THE GUYS ASS!!

WAHH!! ILL SEE YOU TOO!! BYE!!!

- Sanji-Kun

P.S. I LOVE TALKING TO YOU!! POST MORE QUESTIONS, PLEASE!!

**Drake**: is it over?!

**Sanji**: IM SUPPOSED TO ASK YOU THAT!!!!

**Drake**: it is? Good. IM OFF BYE!! (runs out)

**Sanji**: HEY!! THAT'S MY MOVE!! COME BACK HERE!! BAGERRO!! (runs out as well)

* * *

**Neon**: hmmm. Coast is clear!! Hello people!! Im back! Only for the mean time, that is. Hehe. OKAY!! Here's the list of Fan-Girls Sanji-San likes talking to… and here it is!! 

_**Ohiyo! **_

_**These are the girls I like talking to!! And remember! There are no first or second here!! ALL OF MY FAN GIRLS ARE TREATED EQUAL!!**_

_**1)Takono-Chan**_

_**2)SkZs-Chan**_

_**3)Sarah/Apple Bomb-Chan**_

_**4)Keisha-Chan; ANND**_

_**5)Panda-Chan**_

_**Hehe, if there are other Fan Girls who want to be on the list as well, just KEEP SENDING REVIEWS to This Column! And ill gladly answer your questions! Remember there are no limits on the column. You can send more than 5 questions on one Chapter, so no worries! Takono-Chan is a person who actually annoyed Drake-San and the only person to ask me 25+ questions!! I LOVE THAT KIND OF PERSON HAHA!!! MELLORINE!! SkZs-Chan cares about me!! I LOVE YOU!! MELLORINE!! Sarah-Chan is MULTI TALENTED!! MELLORINE!! SOO COOL!! Keisha-Chan is JUST LIKE THE FAN GIRLS ON THE LIST, MELLORINE!! I LOVE YOU!! And Panda-Chan, I love talking to you, so please, MAKE MORE QUESTIONS!! MELLORINE!! I LOVE ALL YOU FAVORITE FAN GRILS OF MINE!! WAHH!! BYEE!!**_

_**-Sanji**_

**Neon**: hehe, that's all folks!! More reviews please!! See Ya!!

**Drake**: (outside) DON'T FIGHT WITH ME!! ERO-COOK!!

**Sanji**: YOU'RE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE PLATYPUS APPLE SAUCE LIME HEAD MARIANO MARIMO, Drake-San!! DON'T MAKE ME KICK YOU FROM HERE TO GRANDLINE!!

**Drake**: YAHH!! (starts fighting with Sanji)

**Neon**: Tsk Tsk! Good thing I aint part of this Chapter!


	9. Sanji Interview 8 ITS THE INSPIRATION!

Ask Sanji

Part 8

**Sanji**: Konichiwa, everyone!! A BRAND NEW EPISODE!! Haha!! well, Drake-San is tied up on the chair right now, but he's still… um… pretty happy?

**Drake**: ……… (BIG smile)

**Sanji**: ANYWAYS! Forget Drake-San and lets get on with the letters!! First off! MarimoLurv!!

* * *

**Hi hi, Sanji-kun**

**How are you today? I'm fine. You are one of my favourite Mugiwara's, I love your fighting style and your badass attitude, and you might have been my favourite if: you didn't smoke, you weren't so exaggeratedly lovey-dovey.  
Other then those things you are perfect the way you are. And I must thank you for giving Zoro Marimo as a nickname… I think its cute and it suits him, but don't tell him that.**

**Ow yeah my questions:**

**What went through your mind when Chopper pulled down your pants and those girls could see your underwear (very cute boxers)?**

**What the hell do you put in Nami's food? (You know what I'am talking about!)**

**And could you please be a little bit nicer to Zoro, I mean Zoro is totally right about the fact that Nami is a bitch.( she treats you guys wrong)**

**Greets, hugs, kisses and stuff. (If you dare to Mellorine on me … then you're dead!)**

**MarimoLurv**

Dear MarimoLurv-Chan,

Im doing fine thank you! WAAHH! I have a badass attitude! And the coolest fighting style!! I ROCK!! Wha…? Im sorry, MarimoLurv-Chan, I cant stop my smoking and my lovey-dovey… its really natural for that to happen when it comes to me… ANYWAYS!! Answer time…

1)it depends, MarimoLurv-Chan, if they love my cute little boxers, I'd go MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! If they don't, hehe, I'd ehe… blush?

2)Oh! Well, ingredients, seasoning, some dessert and of course, LOVE!! That's why my food tastes SOO good!!

3)I WILL IF HE AT LEAST CONSIDERS THE GIRLS AROUND HIM ABIT!!! AND NAMI-SAN ISNT A… ahem… BUT SHE IS NICE TO ME!! ZORO DOES NOT LIKE HER BECAUSE HE IS IN DEBT!!

Wahhh!! THAT'S SO SWEET!! ME-M (reads last part) OOookay forget what I said! Bye!

-Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: ……… (still smiling)

**Sanji**: oky!! NEXT!! From… TAKONO-CHAN!! (lovey-dovey eyes) eh? And its SHORT!! Weird…

* * *

**WOO HOO U USED THE INSULTS I GAVE YOU FOR (ahem)  
platypus-brained jellyfish-spined walrus-faced under-muscularaced applesauce-minded MAD UGLY bad-breathed mariano marimo.  
WOO HOO 16 WORDS IN ONE DISS!**

**for the millionth time...i'm too nervous and scared to kiss you yet. its all because i've never kissed anyone (besides my family -sweatdrop-) before... all i can do is hug and give bambi eyes...(sigh)**

**1. i saw a video with pictures showing your let eye from actual episodes. you look kinda cute.(blush)**

**2. i saw an AMV with you as a kid... YOU LOOKED SO ADORABLE! i wish i could go back in time so i can see you as a kid!**

3. wow... so many fangirls (o.o)

**-Takono**

Dearest my Beloved Takono-Chan,

WWAHHH!!! SHES SOO SMART!! TAKONO-CHAN!! I LOVE YOU!!! Give more Names, Takono-Chan!!

Aww… that's okay, Takono-Chan, I can wait… and I LOVE THOSE BAMBI EYES!! And the hugs just right!!

Answer time!!

1)Nani?! I don't remember showing my left eye!! But since you like it, hehe, WHO CARES IF I SHOW IT OFF?! WAHH!! I LOOK KAWAII!! ARIGATOU, TAKONO-CHAN!! I LOVE YOUU!!!

2)I look cute eh? Hehe! I also wish to see you as a kid, Takono-Chan!! maybe youre just as cute as I am!! Hehe!

3)Don't worry, Takono-Chan!! youre always one of them!! I LOVE YOU, Takono-Chan!! WAAHH!! MELLORINE, MELLORINE!!

-your Beloved Sanji-Kun

P.S. What happened to the questions which were 30+?? I MISS THAT!!

**Drake**: ………( STILL smiling)

**Sanji**: hehe, Takono-Chan!! im waiting for your next post!! I miss you!! MELLORINE!!

**Drake**: ………( STILL SMILING)

**Sanji**: Next!! PANDA-CHAN!!

* * *

**'Ello my kick ass pirate cook Sanji-kun,  
First off, anytime you want to snuggle up I'll be there. Second, could you kick my little brother for be, he's being totally annoying and he knows it! Anyway, now to the real questions!**

**1. How many times do you say "MELLORINE" in one day?  
2. What is your favorite dish to cook?  
3. Have you ever thought about just kicking Zoro off the ship and sailing off without him?  
4. My brothers and friends make fun of me because I listen to county music. Does listing to country music make me a weirdo?  
5. What is your favorite genre of music?  
6. What do you think is you're best feature, besides your cooking, kicks, or ability to pick up chicks. (hey that rhymed!)  
7. Hey I have another joke for you!  
A small man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Not too long after a large man walks in and sits next to the smaller man. He orders a drink and then turnes to the smaler man and hits him in the back saying, "That was a karate chop from China." The small man falls off his stool, while the large man goes to the batheroom laughing. The small man gets up and continues to drink. After a few moments the large man comes back and sits down. He hits the smaller man again and says "That was a karate chop from Korea!" The small man gets up and leaves the bar. After about half an hour the large man suddenly falls off his stool out cold, the small man behind him. The small man turns to the bar tender and says, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears!"  
8. What do you like cooking with the best, white wine or red wine?  
9. Do you prefer white chocolate, dark chocolate, or milk chocolate?  
10. Do you use any cologne? If so, what brand?  
11. What brand of shampoo do you use? Your hair is so smooth and silky and shiny!  
12. What is your favorite animal? (not for cooking)  
13. Who is your favorite Sesame Street character? I love Grover!  
14. What is your favorite fruit?  
15. Is Nami ever going to come? Not that I don't mind that she's not here. I mean she is pretty cool but sometimes she makes me mad.**

**So that's all I have for now but I'll me back! So wanna go snuggle or something. Oh, and I agree with Apple bomb/Sarah, you would make a great cowboy. I'm sort of a cowgirl, and I can tell that you'd look real cool in spurs and chaps! See you soon Sanji-kun! (Kisses)**

**Love,  
Panda**

Dear Panda-Chan, (WAHH!! IM NEVER USED TO THAT NAME!! Kick-Ass Pirate Cook!!)

HOW BOUT SNUGGLING UP IN THOUSAND SUNNY?! ITS NICER THERE!!! MELLORINE MELLORINE MELLORINE!!! And of course I'll kick him. If he's REAALLY annoying then I'll kick him REAALLY hard.

AHEM!! ANSWER TIME!!

1)depends on how many girls love me! If there are 15 girls then I say MELLORINE 30 times, Panda Chan!

2) I have many favorite dishes! So all of them are my favorite!!

3) At times when Im REALLY mad at him,Panda-Chan. But if I do that for real, Luffy's gonna do Gomu-Gomu no Bazooka to me and bring me to the parts unknown… so I don't think about kicking o'l Platypus out of the ship.

4) NO!! YOURE NOT WEIRD, PANDA-CHAN!! WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS?! IM GONA TELL THEM COUNTRY MUSIC ROCKS!!

5) any slow paced songs are nice…

6) NICE RHYME!! WAHH!! PANDA-CHAN IS SO SMART!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! My Curly Brows are my second best feature!!

7) HAHAHAHA!! Hmmm, I wonder if I can do that to Drake-San over here… anyways, hehe, Nice joke, Panda-Chan! SO SMART!! MELLORINE!!

8) White Wine, Panda-Chan. want some of my cooking with white wine?

9) Dark Chocolate, Panda-Chan Non-fattening. So I don't grow fat! Hehe.

10) that's a secret of mine, Panda-Chan… hehe. But I smell pretty good!

11) take a guess, Panda-Chan!

12) Cats! Very clean and gentle, behaved and they lick themselves clean! WHA!! KITTY!!

13) Oh! Oh! I LOVE COOKIE MONSTER!!

14) anything, Panda-Chan! except Durians. They stink…

15) Nami-San was delayed… I don't think she really is coming here… sniff (heart broken eyes)

MELLORINE! MELLORINE! SURE!! IN THOUSAND SUNNY!! LETS SNUGGLE UP THERE!! And Yeah, I look cool when I'm a cowboy!! YOU A COWGIRL?! WAAHHH!! SOO COOL!! MELLORINE!! Bye, Panda-Chan! (receives kiss) WAHH!! MELLORINE MELLORINE!!

-Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: ……… (STILL SMILING)

**Sanji**: tsk. Still smiling eh? Nah, leave him. I have no reason why he is but, oh well! NEXT UP!! AHH!! Smallstream/Keisha-Chan!!

* * *

**Dear Sanji-kun,  
Ok,yes.I shall be part of your equally loved fangirls.And thanks for putting me on your list!And I've already had your cooking,the cherry pie,remember?Gray is my favorite color,and sandals are good.Question time.**

**1)What would be your dream car/motorcycle,ect.?**

**2)What's your favorite animal?**

**3)Who else do you hate besides PLATYPUS APPLE SAUCE LIME HEAD MARIANO MARIMO?**

**4)Cats or dogs,pick.**

**5)What's your favorite type of tree?**

**No way!I could so beat you even if you used your super-strong leg!And I love you too,Sanji-kun.**

**-Smallstream**

Dearest my Beloved Keisha-Chan,

WAHH! SHES PART OF THE LIST!! WAHH!! MELLORINE!! You're welcome for the pie! WAH!! WE BOTH LOVE SANDALS!! WAHH!! MELLORINE!! Gray? WAHH!! That's a light color!! I LOVE THAT COLOR TOO!!

Anyways, ANSWER TIME!!

1)Any new cars of today will be nice, Keisha-Chan!!

2) KITTY!! CATS!!

3) no, I don't hate anyone, Keisha-Chan. All the ones that I hate already suffered from my kicks. Good thing I'm still holding my temper on o'l Platypus, if not, I can make him suffer as well…

4) CATS!! KITTY!! WAHH!! CUTE LI'L FURBALLS!! I LOVE THEM!!

5) hm? Oh! the TANGERINE tree Nami-San has!!

Wahh!! IM BEING CHALLENGED!! FINE!! I'LL SHOW YOU HOW STRONG MY LEGS ARE!! AND I LOVE YOU AGAIN, KEISHA-CHAN!! MELLORINE!! BYE!!

-your Beloved Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: ……… (SHOULD I SAY IT AGAIN?! HES STILL SMILING!!)

**Sanji**: OY!! WAKE UP!! YOURE REALLY HAPPY TODAY! Tsk. No use. I cant kick him… his face might break…

**Sanji**: NO MATTER!! NEXT LETTAH!! From… SkZs-Chan!!

* * *

**Sanji-kun  
Heh I don't think Alyssa wants to talk to you at all( She isn't normal in the head). If I even tried making her I probably wouldn't be able to talk to you anymore. And I'm talking 'physcially' able to talk to you. She like 5 inches taller than me, she can whoop my poor little ass. By the way it's okay to kill my computer, my brother is a geek and he'll fix it. Plus We have 4 computers in the house, it's safe.  
Questions!  
1. I love you ingenious plans to disrupt your enemies. It was really cool when you guys were trying to escape Enies Lobby and the Buster Call that you like disrupted there cannon thing (I really have no idea what happened, I'm gonna watch it again). You didn't look like you knew what you were doing.  
2. My friend (Alyssa) already knows you're hotter than Ace. For some reason she doesn't like Ace (or anyone for that matter)  
3. Whats your favorite american movie?  
4. What would you want to find in a girl (characteristics like funny)  
5. Are you mad that you and Marimo Green Boy only get to fight the major enemies lackys and not the major enemy?  
6. Now that you have a fridge with a lock, does Luffy steal try to sneak food.  
7. Do you wear reading glasses, I dunno because I saw a picture done by Oda himself having you with glasses.  
8. What sport would you ever do? You look like a swimmer or a soccer player to me cause of your strong legs.  
9. OCs, what do you think about them?  
10. Alrighty, I've been wanting to ask this one for a while. I always thought you never used your hands in combat but you pointed a gun at Robin/ Ms. All Sunday.  
11. Why have you never aten a devil fruit before?  
12. Do you have any idea why it's taking so long for American manga (One Piece) 15 to come out? It was suppose to come out this month but it says August...  
13. No more 4kids, what do you have to say about that?  
14. You are aware that since Chopper has depants you (Arabasta arc) that all the fan girls in the world now are short circuiting there keyboards from drooling by just thinking about it even this far into the series.  
15. (#14) are you happy about it? **

Wow holy crap, 15 sensible questions. Next time I'm going for 20!! Cause I love talking to you!! (hugs again)

Dearest my Beloved SkZs-Chan,

WAHH!! HER NAME IS ALYSSA?! WAHH!! BEAUTIFUL NAME!! MELLORINE!! Its okay if she does not like talking to me, if she kicks your… ahem… IM GONNA… wait a minute, I cant hit girls!! Darn. Okay, then kill your computer! Let your eau de Geek (French phrase) Brother fix it…hehe. ANSWER TIME!!

1) watch It again, heh, I wasn't thinking what I was doing, but it WAS a good plan! Right? Heh.

2) GOOD! SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES IM HOTTER THAN LUFFY-LOOK ALIKE!!

3) romance are nice, SkZs-Chan. you?

4) KAWAII!! FUNNY!! SMART!! MULTI-TALENTED!! ANNND!! THE ONE WHO LOVES CURLY BROWS LIKE MINE!!

5) no, im not, SkZs-Chan. But im wondering why are the main enemies lackeys are stronger than the main enemy itself!!

6) nope! He even tried lock picking! But no, the fridge will never open! With out… THE KEY!!

7) yeah, I do, SkZs-Chan. Hehe. I look kinda smarty with it.

8) sure I swim but im not into that kind of sports, SkZs-Chan. Soccer is my most favorite.

9) OC's who are they?

10) that's my first time holding a gun… but so what? I even used knives for defeating Wanze!!

11) heh. Those fruits look weird and Luffy told me the taste of the Gomu Gomu no Mi. so yuck, why would i eat one? (but if I eat one and have supernatural powers, more Fan girls will love me!!) well, I dunno…

12) anticipation is the best thing, SkZs-Chan. just wait and soon, its august!!

13) WHA?! NOW HOW WILL I BE POPULAR IN AMERICA?!?! WAHHH!!!

14) WAHH!! THEY LOVE ME!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! ARIGATOU GOZAIMAS, CHOPA!! I LOVE YOU!!

15) hell yea I am!! Um, you like to see me wearing boxers?

Hehe, try your best! WAHH!! YOU LOVE TALKING TO ME?! I LOVE TALKING TO YOU TOO!! MELLORINE!! (receives hug) WAHAAHAHA!! IM IN LOVE!! MELLORINE!!

-your Beloved Sanji-Kun

**Sanji**: Okay! Next… SARAH-CHAN!! WAAH!!

* * *

**Ne, Sanji-kun/Future husband/Sexy Pirate Cook, (So many titles now!)**

**"JUST TELL ME WHEN THEN IM THERE! MELLORINE!!"--Tomorrow around noon? ;)**

**"howdy, Sarah-Chan. how does that sound?"--Sexy Pirate Cook, you're so shmexy as a cowboy! And I'm glad Panda-san agrees with me!**

**"do you want to see if its true? (winks)"--Heck yes. XD**

**I promise to practice my "MELLORINE!!" everyday!**

**"hey! How bout a date?! Can you!?"--Anytime!! Save me from loneliness! T-T**

**Poor Luffy, don't starve him to death, okay:D**

**Even 4568794372948 questions? Hm... I think I'd die before I could finish coming up with them all.  
-  
1. How soft is your skin? Is it softer than most men's?  
2. Do you have a last name?  
3. Could you ever see yourself as a father? You seemed pretty fond of the child-Nami fantasy in the Davy Back Fight arc.  
4. I met a Sanji cosplayer at an anime convention a while ago. He was really nice to me. :3 Watch out Sexy Pirate Cook, you've got competition for fangirls with your cosplayers!  
5. Do you have any odd food habits? Sometimes I drink the lemon juice that's used for cooking! And, on ocassion, even pickle juice.  
6. Ace should come to an Ask Sanji chapter. You can argue for your sexiness. X) Or maybe Franky...  
7. I have a secret fear of mustaches.  
8. A guy that I talked to today (a friend of a friend) flicked me on the forehead really hard for liking One Piece, and for not having Usopp as my number one favorite character. He was so serious about it! He's only ever seen the 4Kids dub, and he's never looked at the manga. And the spot on my forehead still stings and there's a scratch. Can you either 1. Send Chopper to heal it, or 2. Make it feel better for me yourself? Please?  
9. Have you ever shopped at Wal-Mart?  
10. What if I told you I was part of the mafia?  
11. Franky says "SUPAH!" and "FRESH!" a lot, and there's a grocery store called "Superfresh" that we shop at sometimes. Does Franky like that store, too? o.o  
12. I have to go to the Asian food market today and help buy the fish, but I'm bad at telling what's really fresh and what's not. :P How do you choose your fish from the market, Sanji-kun? Can you help me?  
13. Do you like romance movies? What about horror?  
14. Why do men typically have more body hair than women?  
15. Are you good at poetry?**

**I keep breaking my own question record! Find out why Drake-san was so happy, 'kay? XD**

**-Love, Apple Bomb/Sarah**

Dearest my Beloved Apple Bomb-Chan/Sarah-Chan/my future Wife (WAHH!! I LOVE HOW SHE CALLS ME!!),

WAHH! SURE!! ILL SEE YOU!!!

Alrighty! WAHH! SHE LOVES ME!! WAHH!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

WAHH!! ON OUR DATE! I'LL SHOW YOU HOW GOOD I AM WITH FRENCH KISSING!!

GOOD!! WAAHHH!! SO TALENTED!! KNOWS HOW TO COPY ME!! WAHH! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

I Will save you, Sarah-Chan!! lets go!!

Heh, don't worry about Luffy, I fed him already. And now hes shouting "MORE!! I WANT MORE MEAT SANJI!! WAHH!! MORE!!" outside the building!

Im just kidding, Sarah-Chan. DON'T DIE!! YOURE MY FUTURE WIFE!!

AHEM!! Answer time!!

1)I like you to guess, Sarah-Chan… hehe

2) nope. But I wonder why Oda didn't give me any…

3) hehe. I always wanted to be a dad! AND IN THE FUTURE YOU BE A MOM!! WAHH MELLORINE!! IM IN LOVE!!

4) hah! Who do they believe?! The REAL Sanji or a Faker posing out As Sanji?! Hehe, don't worry, this competition youre talking about wont last long!! I'll win it soon!! You, Sarah-Chan? you… you love that cosplayer? Or me?

5) hehe, yea, I do. I some times add cheese on stuffed turkey! I even add peanuts!

6) Ah! Yes! I'll tell Neon-kun that! Now we'll see WHOS sexier!!

7) GOOD THING I SHAVE!!

8) Oky, whos the guy? I'll first use Diable Jambe then give him a nice Bouquetier Shoot and lets see if he still likes Hot Dog nose… AND YOURE HURT?! NO!! DON'T LET CHOPA TAKE CARE OF YOU!! I WILL!! Aww, that's a bad scratch! Don't worry, apply a bandage and it'll be healed in 2 or 3 days…

9) nope! But ill try, Sarah-Chan! maybe a nice pace for shopping supplies of food…

10) Mafia? The gangsters? Or a company?

11) I think so, Sarah-Chan… heh.

12) oh! That's easy! Smell first, if it has no odor then its not clean, if it has a regular fish stench then its good to eat! If there are flies touching it, DON'T BUY IT!! also ask if they cleaned the fish before it was placed on the counters. And also ask when did they catch it. if 2 months or more, DON'T BUY!! If less, then okay go ahead. WAHH!! YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU?!? SURE!! MELLORINE!! TELL ME WHEN AND IM THERE!!

13) Romance are making me LOVEY DOVEY!! Horror… heh, I aint scared of that!!

14) probably because men mature first than women.

15) no, only at cooking… sigh… im not multi-talented like you, Sarah-Chan…

Well, keep on going!! Many other fan girls always break records! And why don't you ask Drake-San yourself? HE WONT LISTEN TO ME!! HE'S JUST THERE LIKE LUFFY ATE THE WHOLE WOLRDS MEAT SUPPLY!! Anyways, bye Sarah-Chan!!

-your Beloved Sanji-Kun

**Sanji: **Oky!! Last One!! Oy!! Drake-San!! its HogwartShinobi!!

**Drake**: ...Nani? AHH!! THE INSPIRATION!!

**

* * *

**

**I-Im...INSPIRATION?! TT3TT DAW**

**(Glomps NeOn DrAkE 39) Arigatou, Drake-kun!! XD (LOL! He's getting girls too! Watch out Sanji :3)**

**(Ahem) Anyway...Good evening Sanji-san! So...I dont really have anything to ask. I FOR SOME STRANGE, INACCURATE AND UNEXPLAINABLE REASON- I know everything about you. Well, not personally-wise anyway. So Let's see...Here's a tough one; Why are you so nice to Nami-nee-chan and Robin-nee-chan but not to Luffy-sama TT3TT He always protects you and makes sure you're safe. Not to mention he DID Kick Arlong's, Crocodile, and alot of other guy's asses...YOU GUYS DONT TREAT HIM FAIRLY WITH DESENT RESPECT WAH--**

**Hs-Chan**

Dearest HogwartShinobi (AKA The Inspiration to NeOn DrAkE 39),

**Drake**: DAW?! wait... youre a filipino? NICE!! AND YOU ARE THE ONE WHO INSPRED ME TO WRITE THIS COLUMN FROM "Ask Zoro"!!! WAHH!!

**Sanji**: Filipino? whats that? and SHES THE ONE WHO MADE YOU WRITE THIS COLUMN?!

**Drake**: Nothing... and yeah, Sanji-San, she's the one!! (reads further) WAHH!! SHE-SHE... (faints...) glomped me...

eh, im not jealous HogwartShinobi-Chan! ehh? and you made Drake-San faint!! okay. ahem. WHA!?? WAHH!! YOU KNOW ME?! WAHH!! THATS SOO COOL!! HS-CHAN IS SOO COOL!! MELLORINE!! anyways... WHOA!! Im nice to Luffy!! I keep feeding him TONS of food and he isnt satisfied!!and keep in mind that with my food, in the ingredients, Love is included!! so of course i care for Luffy!! and i thank him soo much for protecting me and the rest!! dont worry, HS-Chan!! Im gonna take good care of Luffy more!! Just dont say that i dont treat him nicely!! okay? dont get furious!! relax, HS-Chan!!

Sanji

**Drake**: ……is… it over? (wakes up)

**Sanji**: HELL YEAH! and why did you faint?!

**Drake**: nothing... its an honor answering the question from The Inspiration herself!! anyways, i gotta go... see ya...

**Sanji**: tsk… well no matter…

**Sanji**: alrighty folks! We reached the end of todays Ask Sanji in Sanji Tonight! More reviews and I would LOVE to hear from you again! Bye my beautiful fans of mine!!

**Sanji**: im also expecting 35 questions from you, Takono-Chan!! I miss how you were before!! I LOVE IT!! PRETTY PLEASE ASK ME MORE?!?! and HS-Chan, it is truly an honor... (bows) you too, post questions...

(door from outside opens)

**Luffy**: Oi, Sanji!! I Want more meat!!

**Sanji**: (gets an idea) okay, I'll feed you, but in one condition, I want you to feature youself here on Ask Sanji on the next Episode!!

**Luffy**: Yeah! Sure!! Just GIVE ME MEAT BEFORE I STARVE TO DEATH!!

**Sanji**: okay, I'll cook you. Just wait. Well? I think Luffy's gonna be here on the show for the next episode, so ask him questions too, okay? BYE!!

**Luffy**: (faints)

**Sanji**: OKAY OKAY!! JUST WAIT!! DON'T DIE ON ME NOWW!!

**Sanji**: More reviews please! See ya next time!! (carries Luffy to the Kitchen)


	10. The 100 Questions By TakonoChan!

Ask Sanji

Part 9

**Sanji**: Ohiyo to all!! Hehe, as you can see, Luffy, my captain is here!! So prepare questions for him too! You ready, Luffy?

**Luffy**: (eating) chomp!! Why not?! I can do almost anything for MEAT!! Chew!

**Sanji**: yahh, okay. Just be ready.

**Drake**: oy! Sanji, Luffy, am I late?

**Sanji**: what do you think, baka? Youre 15 minutes late! What took you?

**Drake**: well, I got stuck on the elevator.

**Sanji**: whatever. Anyways, FIRST UP!! Takono-Chan!! and whoa! That's REALL LONG!! I miss answering ALL the questions!!

**Drake**: WHAT THE?! THERE MUST BE A HUNDRED QUESTIONS THERE!!

**Sanji**: JUST SHUT UP AND I'LL READ IT!!

**Luffy**: (quietly eating)

* * *

**does this mean sanji-kuns not here? (sob) oknow i'm over it :D**

**ok. luffy, what would you do if shanks was suddenly dead, your hat was shredded into 10 pieces, and all the meat in the world was gone?**

**I HAVE TONS OF MEAT! TAKE IT! ITS ALL YOURS NOW!**

**i h8 meat. be lucky because noone else wants you to have their meat.**

**JUST IN CASE SANJIS STILL HERE (or if he's not, can this be posted in chapter 10? alongwith more questions later :3 )**

**1. ok. i'm gonns give you so many questions. kay? (super kawaii smile)**

**2.WHY THE HELL IS LUFFY IN ASK SANJI?!**

**3.i'm gonna make a picture of marimo dressed as a hilbilly.(if i feel like it)**

**4. what would you do if i turnedinto a boy?**

**5. what would you do if zoro turned into a girl?**

**6. do you know mr. wonderful?**

**7. when'll neon die?I WANNA KNOW!(kidding, kidding)**

**8. you should have seen the look on your ace on episode 131 when you almost kissed zoro! i started cracking up!**

**9. (hugs you for no reason at all)**

**10. um...go canada? LEAFY FLAGS RULE! GO LEAVES!**

**11. ok, i ran out of questions but i'lljust say random stuff.**

**12. will luy ever break a one in his life?**

**13. wat do you think of chopper?**

**14. i think hes so KAWAII!**

**15. JAIL PARIS HILTON! JAIL PARIS HILTON!**

**16. YANKEES!**

**17. do you know porky pig?**

**18. do you knowwhy the tissue danced?**

**19.it had a boogie in it.my doctor told me that. every time i go there, he tells me that.**

**20. you ever tasted a choco-taco before? ITS GREAT ICE CREAM!**

**21. knock knock...banana  
knock knock...banana  
knock knock...banana  
knock knock...banana  
knock knock...banana  
knock knock...banana  
knock knock...banana  
knock knock...orange  
orange ya glad i didnt say banana?**

**22. spell "pig" backwards then say "funny colors".**

**23. say "zoro" then spell "sap"**

**24. tell zoro to point to his head then say the initials of "michael tyson"**

**25. did he say m.t.(empty)?I HOPE SO!**

**29. here's a llama  
there's a llama  
and another little llama  
fuzzy llama  
funny llama  
llama llama  
duck**

**llama llama  
cheesecake  
llama  
tablet  
brick  
potato  
llama  
llama llama  
mushroom  
llama  
llama llama  
duck**

**i was once a treehouse  
i lived in a cake  
but i never saw the way  
the orange slayed the rake  
i was only three years dead  
but it told a tale  
and now listen, little child  
to the safety rail**

**did you ever see a llama  
kiss a llama  
on the llama  
llama's llama  
tastes of llama  
llama llama  
duck**

**half a llama  
twice the llama  
not a llama  
farmer  
llama  
llama in a car  
alarm a llama  
llama  
duck**

**is THIS how it's told now?  
is it all so old?  
is it made of lemon juice?  
doorknob  
ankle  
cold  
now my song is getting thin  
i've run out of luck  
time for me to retire now  
and become a duck**

**30. i will now give you 31+ questions.**

**31. um...pigeons?**

**32. zoro put a spider on yourhead.**

**33. now he's giving you bunny ears.**

**34. why do people think youre more like a duck? i dont see the resemblence.**

**35. HI MR. DUCKY!**

**36. QUACK**

**37. QUACK**

**38. MO**

**39. POLY WANT A CRACKER! ARF ARF ARF! TWEET TWEET TWEET!**

**40. 40+ QUESTIONS! BAHAHAHAHA!**

**41. look up moss. you'll see zoros picture there.**

**42. my friend and i have a recording o us playing video games. you and nami sing the lumberjack song. wats unnier, i kept laughing, and one time i yelled "CUT" and "TAKE TWO!"**

**43. yesterday a cookie was covered in chocolate and melted on rice. I HAD CHOCOLATE RICE!**

**44. (stares at fish guts on the table) GYA! I AM NOW SCARRED! A! (faints)**

**45. ...**

**46. sorry. when i was 9, i went on a ishing trip, and when people caught fish, they were cut up and put in a bag. poor fishies... plus, there was a fish gut on my shoulder. i didnt want to see a fish that entire week because o thet. your fish gave me a flashback.**

**47. ALMOST 50 WOO HOO**

**48. STILL ME**

**49. hi**

**50. FIFTY!**

**51. um... whats ater 50?**

**52. that fish head scares me.**

**53. i'll literally give you 100 questions YAY**

**54. hi**

**55. still me :)**

**56. DING FRIES ARE DONE :D**

**57. would you like an apple pie with that?**

**58. is it me, or is that a mistletoe? i dont know what it is, but it looks like a weapon!**

**59. (rips mistletoe into 10 pieces)**

**60. 60!**

**61. will this take up the whole chapter?**

**62. um...**

**63. ITS ME! I WAS THE TURKEY ALL ALONG!**

**64. i'm almost up to 70!**

**65. watch naruto abridged! its hilarious. CLUCKY!**

**66. his name is GAARA OF THE FUNK!**

**67. you mention me alot in ask sanji.**

**68. i feel so special :3**

**69. why do you have a curly eyerow?**

**70. why is it cute?**

**71. so the dates...2nite?**

**72.is this it? cuz i see sand...and water...**

**73. i just remembered! one of my amvs has BON CLAY OF THE FUNK!**

**74. i was bored**

**75. if i was made of candy, would you eat me, or save me from luffy?**

**76. Is drake mad about me giving 100 questions?**

**78. if yes, YAY!**

**79. (hugs you for no reason at all again)**

**80. 20 MORE TO GO!**

**81. is it 2008 yet?**

**82. remember one piece special 3? robin thought it was a musical and luffy dressed as a monkey.**

**83. are all 100 qustions in one chapter? wow**

**84. i zoro doesnt know let from right, how can he dress himsel right?**

**85. does zoro know what deoderant is?**

**86. um...ur the best cook**

**87. SEA MONKEY!**

**88. hal the time,do you know what im talking about?**

**89. ALMOST 90!!**

**90. 90 WOO HOO**

**91. can i have a banana?**

**92. CHIUAUAS ROK**

**93. GO KIWI**

**94. i'll do something special or 100**

**95. YAY 95**

**96. ALMOST THERE**

**97. QUACK**

**98. ALMOST!**

**99. OOH! CHESE CAKE!**

**100. WO! HAPPY NEW YEAR! oh and just cuz u deserve it for helping me...(kiss)(grin)**

**-takono **

Dearest my Beloved Takono-Chan (WAHH!! I MISSED YOU ASKING ME LONG QUESTIONS!! MELLORINE!!),

**Sanji**: hey, some words for you, Luffy.

**Luffy**: oh? Cool!! Interesting! Lemme read (grabs letter)

Okay, what should I do? Uhm… I dunno, but I CANT SURVIVE WITHOUT MEAT!! My hat? No, that wont happen, its always on my head!

ARIGATOU!! NOW I'LL STUFF MYSELF UP TILL I BURST!!

Why don't you like meat? Meat makes you strong! Like me!!

**Sanji**: im still here, Takono-Chan and… I MISSED YOU!! WAHH!! IM IN LOVE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

I Miss You, Takono-Chan!!

Now, MY answers…

1) KAWAII!! Oky! Just go ahead and shoot!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

2) he was out the building looking for food! What should I do?! I don't want my captain to die!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

**Luffy**: (smiles while eating)

3) HAHA!! if you do get it, SHOW ME!!!! IM GONNA DIE LAUGHING!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

4) NO! Takono-Chan!! WHO'LL ASK ME GIRL QUESTIONS?!?! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

5) I'D LAUGH LIKE HELL!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

6) nope! Who's he? Me? I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

7) Wha?!

**Drake**: finally someone thought of Neon dying!!

**Sanji**: want me to think of you dying? UNDER MY FOOT?

**Drake**: whatever.

**Luffy**: (still eating)

**Sanji**: I don't know, Takono-Chan, but please don't torment Neon-Kun, or he'll stop this column!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

8) I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

9) MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

10) WAHH!! GO CANADA!! LEAFY FLAGS RULE!! WAAHH!! MELLORINE!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

11) Go Shoot! Takono-Chan! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

12) wha?

**Luffy**: ILL NEVER BREAK!! IM FILLED WITH MEAT!!

**Sanji**: theres your answer! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

13) AN INTRUDER… HE KEEPS ON TAKING CARE OF YOU!! IT SHOULD BE ME TAKING CARE OF YOU!! And… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

14) fine, I agree with you… and… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

15) oh! The girl who I saw in the news! I HOPE NOT!! SHE LOOKS LIKE A GOOD GIRL!! BUT STILL…… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

16) GO USA!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

17) Looney Tunes? Yeah I do! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

18) probably because of the one who used it? I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

19) Oh! That explains why… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

20) WAHH!! I'LL MAKE ONE FOR YOU! TAKONO-CHAN!! WAHHH!!! And…im… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

21) sigh! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

22) gip funny colors!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

23) oroz sap!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

24 & 25) HAHAHA!! EMPTY!! HIS HEADS EMPTY!! WAHAHAHA!! I Miss You, Takono-Chan!! oh yeah! And I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

26) I LOVE TALKING TO YOU!!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

27) heyy! Neat! I like that! (/.\)I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

28) **Luffy**: (while eating) nice!! Um… whats that again?

29) Sigh Takono-Chan… to tell you the truth, I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

30) GO AHEAD!! MELLORINE!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

31) Good for cooking! WAHH! SHES GIVING ME A NEW RECIPE!! MELLORINE!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

32) Im gonna kill him… only YOU have the right to put it there… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

33) WAHH!! YAOI BASTARD!! GET IT OFF OR I'LL KICK YOU TO THE MOON!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

34) me? A duck? Why? Oh well… BTW, I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

35) ohiyo, Quack! And… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

36) QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK-QUACK!! (meaning I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!)

37) same as above and I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

38) MO? WAHH!! I DON'T GET IT BUT WHO CARES?! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

39) sigh… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

40) GO ON!! 60 MORE TO GO!! WAHH!! MELLORINE!! I LOVE YOU!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

41)…Sigh… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

42) OH? Really? Too bad… but still!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

43) WAHH!! ANOTHERE RECIPE!! WAHH!! MELLORINE!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

44) TAKONO-CHAN?! YOU OKAY?! DON'T WORRY!! ITS ONLY FISH GUTS!! YOU CAN STEP ON IT!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

45) Takono-Chan? I Missed You, Takono-Chan!! DON'T DIE!! Oh, shes awake…

46) OKAY!! I WONT SERVE YOU FISH!! I'll serve you ANYTHING BUT fish… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

47) GO ON TAKONO-CHAN!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

48) Takono-Chan… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

49) OHIYO, TAKONO-CHAN!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

50) WAHH!! 50 MORE TO GO!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

**Luffy**: Ikamari!!

**Sanji**: okay, hold up… (heads to the kitchen) here! 30 buffet tables with Chili con Carne on it.

**Luffy**: WAHH!! IM STILL STARVED!! ARIGATOU!!

51) 51, Takono-Chan, and… ah!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

52) ILL HIDE IT DON'T WORRY, TAKONO-CHAN!! and I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

53) GO AHEAD!! I LOVE YOU!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

**Drake**: NANI?! NO!! YOU CANT POS…

**Sanji**: SHUT UPP!! BOUQUETIER SHOOT!! (kicks Drake HIGH in the sky)

54) OHIYO, TAKONO-CHAN!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

55) Takono-Chan… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

56) YOU LOVE FRIES?! ME TOO!! MELLORINE!! And BTW, I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

57) GOOD MIXTURE!! I LOVE YOUR RECIPES!!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

58) hm? A weapon? I don't think so! Is a Christmas decor! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

59) Aww, if we both stand under it, we can KISS!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

60) 40 MORE TO GO!! TAKONO-CHAN!! DO IT!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

61) I think so… tsk… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

62) yesss? I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

63) NO!! I DON'T WANT LUFFY TO EAT YOU, TAKONO-CHAN!!

**Luffy**: TURKEY?! WHERE!!

**Sanji**: N'thn!! Just keep eating there!

**Luffy**: Too bad… I LOVE TURKEY!!

**Sanji**: phew! Don't say that again!! I LOVE YOU!!TAKONO-CHAN!! and I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

64) YOU CAN DO IT, TAKONO-CHAN!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

65) I WILL, TAKONO-CHAN!! ANYTHING FOR TAKONO-CHAN!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

66) WAHH! ROCK ON!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

67) coz youre one of the most favorite! Just like all my other Fan girls!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

68) YOU ARE!! LIKE ALL OF MY FAN GIRLS!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

69) guess!! (I just love saying "guess") I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

70) hehe, because you love it! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

71) Yep!! YEY!! WE HAVE A DATE!! WAHH!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

72) we're on the beach, Takono-Chan… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

73) Tsk. Mr. 2… annoying. BUT YOURE NOT ANNOYING, TAKONO-CHAN!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

74) You wont be when youre with me!! Takono-Chan!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

75) IM GONNA SAVE YOU FROM LUFFY!!

**Luffy**: I sure could use some sweetening here!

**Sanji**: NO!! NOT TAKONO-CHAN!! hehe. I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

76) uhm…

**Drake**: YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM!! DAMN YOU!! YOU GOAT LOVI…

**Sanji**: MOUTON SHOOOOT!!! (kicks Drake again. This time FARTHER) Don't mind him, Takono-Chan, only you and me are talking… and… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

77) you missed one number!! 77!!

78) I LOVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM!! I LOVE YOU!! WAHH!! MELLORINE!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

79) WAHH!! I LOVE THAT!! I LOVE YOUUU!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

80) ALMOST THERE, TAKONO-CHAN!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

81) we're mid-June, Takono-Chan, so you have to wait… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

82) Yeah! HEHEHAHA!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

83) if it can fit!! I HOPE SO!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

84) yeah… why? I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

85) I HOPE NOT! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

86) ARIGATOU GOZAIMAS!! MELLORINE!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

87) um… Luffy? (luffy does not mind at all… still eating) I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

88) NO! BUT I LOVE THAT, TAKONO-CHAN!! WAHH!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

89) ALMOST THERE!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

90) 10 MORE!! WAHH!! SO COOL!! MELLORINE!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

91) SURE!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

92) I hate dogs… but I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

93) MY FAVORITE FRUIT!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

94) REALLY WHAT IS IT?! WHAT?! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

95) 5 MORE!! ALMOST!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

96) WAHH!! GO ON!! TAKONO-CHAN!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

97) QUACK QUACK QUACK, QUACK-QUACK!! (meaning… I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!)

98) 2 MORE!! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!! WAHH!! MELLORINE!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

99) Your favorite? Im gonna bake one for you!! I Missed You, Takono-Chan!!

100) WAHH! YAHOOOOOOO!!! CONGRATS!! YOU BROKE YOUR RECORD!! WAHH!! ME… (receives kiss) **WAAHHH!!! I FINALLY GOT THE KISS!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! **

(slaps Luffy on the back so hard on the back, Luffy swallowed and choked on a bone)

**Luffy: **GAAH!! I CANT BREATH!! WATER!! WATER!!

(the kicks Drake again with Basses Cottes)

**Drake**: WAHHHHH…… (again falls out of the building)

I GOT THE KISS I WAS ANTICIPATING!! WAHHH!!! **MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! ARIGATOU!!! I LOVE YOUUU, TAKONO-CHAN!! **and lastly… I MISSED YOU, TAKONO-CHAN!!!

-your Beloved Sanji-Kun

P.S. I missed you because I missed answering LOADS of questions form you… and Arigatou Gozaimas for the kiss!! I LOVE YOU TAKONO-CHAN!!

(Luffy and Drake tied Sanji on the chair)

**Sanji**: AHH!! IM SOO LOVEY DOVEY!!! WAHH!!

**Drake**: keep holding him, Luffy-San, I've got an announcement to make…

**Drake**: I'm sorry to say, Sanji-fans but its already the end of this chapter, because only ONE person, Takono-Chan asked 100 questions… so we have to end it since the board might over flow!! So, till next time! Tsk…

**Luffy**: AH!! He escaped!!

**Drake**: NO!! HE MIGHT RUIN THE STUDIO!! STOP HIM!!

**Luffy**: HAI!! WAIT… you cant tell me what to do!! IM CAPTAIN HERE!! NOT YOU!!

**Drake**: JUST SHUT UP AND GET HIM!!

**Luffy**: LETS GO!!

**Sanji**: MORE REVIEWS PLEASE!! BYE!!! HAHAHAHA!!


	11. Sanji Interview 9 featuring LUFFY!

Ask Sanji

Part 10

**Drake**: okay, ohiyo to all you. Im sorry, until now Sanji is tied up on the the chair here and Luffy-San is still here. Okay!! Lets get on with it!!

**Luffy**: can we let Sanji go now? Im hungry again…

**Drake**: just wait till he calms down about Takono-Chan's last kiss…

**Sanji**: I AM CALM BAGA!! LET ME GO!! I'VE GOT FANS TO ANSWER!!

**Luffy**: YEY!! Now, go and cook, Sanji!!

**Drake**: sigh. Whatever… First up, Keisha-Chan!!

**Sanji**: (while cooking) okay, hold it up for me Luffy.

**Luffy**: wait!! There are questions for me as well!!

**Sanji**: well? ANSWER IT!!

**

* * *

**

**Dear Sanji-kun and Luffy,  
Haha!Hi Luffy!Don't let Sanji kick ya.Well anyways,questions.**

**Luffy-  
1)What's your favorite type of fish?**

**2)I already asked Sanji this but,cats or dogs?**

**3)If your vest wasn't red what color would it be?**

**Sanji-  
1)You have a computer,whats saved on it,and what sites do you go to?(besides this one)  
2)What is your favorite type of fruit?  
3)Say you have a cat,what do you name it?**

**Yes,shortness.Ah well.And again I love you too Sanji-kun.  
-Smallstream**

Dearest my Beloved Keisha-Chan,

Hi!! Um… is it smallstream or Keisha?

**Sanji**: I call her Keisha-Chan.

Okay, then, ohiyo, Keisha-Chan!! Sanji wont kick me. I'll eat him if he does…

**Sanji**: O.o

Anyways… my answers!

1) any fish as long as it tastes better than meat!

2) DOGS!! They make better meat than CATS!!

3) I don't like any other color! I like it red as meat!! Or even brown for barbeque!!

**Sanji**: All you think of is food, baka…

**Luffy**: WHAT TO DO?! IM HERE BESIDE YOU WHILE YOURE COOKING NICELY!!

**Sanji**: whatever… my answers, Keisha-Chan…

1) its not my computer, its Drakes, whats saved in it? I dunno, I keep on seeing pictures of this girl named, Vanessa?

**Drake**: HEYY!! (blushes) DID YOU?!

**Sanji**: well I accidentally saw it when I clicked "my pictures"

**Drake**: BAKA!! IM GONNA…

**Luffy**: If you mess up my 5th breakfast, im gonna punch you to grand line!!

**Drake**: tsk… IM GONNA GET YOU LATER, Sanji-San!!

2) any fruit YOU like to eat.

3) KITTY!! I mean… um… Kiri!! KIRI KIRI KIRI!!! MY KITTY KIRI!! WAHH!! MELLORINE!!

Aww, its okay when its short. AND I LOVE YOU, KEISHA-CHAN!! WAHH!! MELLORINE!

-your Idol, Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: YOU **SWEAR** YOU SAW PICTURES OF MY VAN… I MEAN VANESSA-CHAN?!

**Sanji**: ohh! So you HAVE someone!! WAHH! YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME, DRAKE-SAN!!

**Drake**: HEY!! IT'S HS-SAMA!!

**Sanji**: WHA!! "THE INSPIRATION!!" I"LL ANSWER IT!!

**Luffy**: (eating)

* * *

**Teehee! Dont think of my as a Higher Rank or something! Im a complete fangirl XD I like this column! Sorry Sanji for insulting you bows YOU'RE AWESOME :D Anyway - OMG LUFFY I LOVE YOU :O Not in that 'Nakama way' either ;) lol so a question to Luffy; People seem to think of you as thick-headed and not always straight forward with answers. Hell, I dont even know if you will even give me a sane answer right now. But that leads me to my question; Is there more under that straw hat of yours? OMG you're not Emo are you:O lol You're a great pirate and you better become King or Ill kick your ass ;)**

**PS: I love the way Sanji-san says Mellorine XD**

**HS-chan **

Dear the most respectful, HS-Chan

**Drake**: ehehe, okay, then, we'll start calling you the regular HS-Chan so you'll be happy… and Arigatou if you like the board! ASTIG!! A comment from HS-Chan herself!!

**Sanji**: what?

**Drake**: don't mind, she's saying sorry.

**Sanji**: oh?

No, its okay, I forgive you! Hehe! I still care for captain Luffy (even though at times he's a pest) see? Witness now, Luffy is PEACEFULLY eating… oi, Luffy, a question for you…

**Luffy**: (while eating) hm? (reads)

Under my hat? My hair!! And my brain!! Haha!! now THAT'S a sane answer, right?! And whats emo? Food?

**Drake**: emo means feeling emotional like sad, angry…etc.

Oh… im not! And yes! Im a great pirate!! Im gona be the Kaizoku-Ga!! So don't kick me, PLEASE?! Heeeheee! IM almost full!! (continues eating)

P.S. **Sanji**: wanna hear it again? Okay! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

-from Sanji, Luffy and Drake

**Sanji**: want more, Luffy?

**Luffy**: love to, but, it's a bit too much! Enough for me!! Anymore questions?

**Sanji**: okay! Whos next, Drake-San?

**Drake**: NEXT ISS… SkZs-Chan!!

**Sanji**: wahh!! Its also long!!

* * *

**Sanji-kun,  
Don't worry about the 4kids thing, anime fangirls practically hated what they did to you. Funimation is taking over, starting August (WHY AUGUST!! DAMN CURSED MONTH!!). So you like girls who are cute, funny, smart, multitalented, and love curly eyebrows. Hahahah lets see, before we get on wit the questions, if I fit that criteria. Cute? Well my friends say I'm cute like a bunny cause of my innocence and cause I'm so short. Funny...let's see...I'm more funny when I do not mean to be due to my klutzyness and sort of weirdness. Smart? Let's just say I'm as smart as it gets when it comes to girls in my school. Multitalent, Im those sort people who are better off sitting in the corner and watching people do multitalented things like cooking...he he. Last but not least, loving your curly eyebrow. Darling please, if you didn't have one would I even be here ranting about how hot you are? That's all pretty self centered of me...TIME FOR QUESTIONS!!  
1. What do you mean by multitalented anyways? Like able to mutiple things at once like cook, watch TV, listen to music, do homework, and sing at the same time? Or have multiple talents. For instance I'm an artist, writer, counseler,future guitar player, expert fashion advice giver, and atheltic swimmer. Would you consider that multitalented?  
2. You don't like racing (swimming), come on that's like the best natural high ever! I'm a racer, that's why i got the swimmers body and competiveness!  
3. Why is it that when I hear the movie Moulin Rogue I think of you?  
4. Romance movies? I love romance movies! What's your favorite? We should go see one together sometime.  
5. Do plan on stopping smoking anytime soon?  
6. It's not that I hate you for it, I could never change the way you are, it's just I really don't want you to die.  
7. Okay Alyssa and I got a problem wit a stalker. A littural stalker! He got expelled from school for choking a kid (This make me feel a whole lot better) and he keeps on stalking Alyssa at her house (this effects me cause I practically live there)! He's really ugly and scares the crap out of me! What's really scary is that he likes me and her!! Like a lot likes!! Ahh I'm going to go hide in the corner.  
8. Okay nevermind I'll do it later. Anyways you don't have to worry, I do not think Ace is hotter than you (no pun intended). I had a friend that did, KEYWORD HAD a friend.  
9. Is it true you have a secret Mellorine detector?  
10. You know what instead of a romance movie we should see a horror (then a romance movie)! Because I do not do well in horror movies so I'd need someone to hold. Wink Wink.  
11. How do maintain a gorgeous body? I don't see lift weights and stuff like Muscle Head Stupid idiotic Stupid Green Marimo person who doesn't like talking to me.  
12. Have you taken Anger Managment classes? Or is that the cigarettes job?  
13. Have you been ice skating before, considering you knew what to do when you went down that humongous fish slippery thing in the Davy Back Fight Arc with Zoro.  
14. Oh bloody hamsters, another storm... You wouldn't mind holding me while I finish typing the rest of this would you?  
15. Never lose your hair please, I'm begging you. I have a mortal fear of bald people.  
16. Do you know any places with anime conventions/cosplays, I've been dying to see some.  
17. I'm demanding to know this, Did you or Chopper sing the song Sea Moon Sea you? You guys have the same voice actor (when you were a kid) I'm thinking it is you because the karyoke verison came out before chopper did.  
18. Why aren't there warning signs on the bottom of the screan saying "You have to be a Super Sexy Pirate Chef to do these stunts" when you do your awesome acrobatic moves? It doesn't look right when someone else does it.  
19. Whats your favorite One Piece movie?  
20. Please don't tell me you don't know what OC's are! It stands for 'Original Character'. Mainly people who authors make up to pair them up with Cannon Characters.**

Yaay 20!! Yes! Wow I'm good! Next time 30!! Seeya next time Sanji-kun!!  
Infinite Kisses and Love, SKZS

Dearest my Beloved SkZs-Chan,

WAHH!! SHE'S CAPABLE OF BEING MY GIRLFRIEND!! SHE PASSED ALL THE CRITERIA!! WAHHH!! SO COOL!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! HAHAHA!!

Ahem. Answer time…

1)WAHH!! NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL MULTI-TALENTED!!! Ahem! Multi Talented means you have many talents!! AND YOU HAVE LOADS!! WHAA!! SO SMART!! SO COOL!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

2) Oky, then we race,SkZs-Chan!! I'll show you my legs are not only for soccer and kicking!! I have the swimmers body too! (but yours is more better…)

3) Oh? Hehe, that's cool! I remembered when I watched that classic… I couldn't stop thinking of Nami-San!!

4) Any of the latest, SkZs-Chan!

5) Nope. Its already my life. So stop smoking? Forget it…

6) WAHHH!! MELLORINE!! SKZS-CHAN CARES FOR ME!! WAAHH!!! MELLORINE!!

7) Okay… whats the name of the guy. I swear, he's dead meat…

**Luffy**: if he is dead meat, can I eat him?

**Sanji**: why not, Luffy?

8) Arigatou if you think im hotter than Ace, SkZs-Chan!! And HAD a friend? Oh! Maybe I killed him already!

9) shhh! IT'S A SECRET!!

10) MELLORINE?! PICK THE MOST SCARIEST EVER!! IF ITS GRUESOME, HOLD ON TO ME!!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

11) well, I don't eat much. And most of my weight lifting goes to my legs… like what old fart did to me. He made me put both of my hands on the floor while my legs are carrying a bucket full of bricks!! But anyhow, just work out and stay in a diet, SkZs-Chan.

12) hehe. The cigarettes job.

13) hah! Also one of my talents. Never knew how, but I got it!

14) MELLORINE!! WHY NOT!!! I LOVE THAT!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!!

15) don't worry, SkZs-Chan!! im not gonna lose all my hair!! In fact im kinda scared too if suddenly its all gone!!

16) where do you live? I'll bring you to one of the conventions if you like SkZs-Chan!!!

17) hehe, im a good singer, no? but I don't like singing…

18) THAT'S RIGHT!! WHY?! IM ONLY THE ONE WHO CAN DO DIABLE JAMBE AND THE OTHER KICKS OLD FART TOLD ME!!

19) all of them I guess…

20) aww, I was just kidding. Hehe. Oookay, now whats Cannon Characters? Made up characters?

WHAA!! NO PROBLEM!! ASK ME MORE!! WAAH!!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

-Sanji-Kun

**Luffy**: BURP!!!

**Sanji**: whoa!! Bless you!! Damn that's loud!!

**Drake**: next up, Apple-Bomb Chan!!

**Sanji**: WAHH! MY FUTURE WIFE!!

* * *

**Dear sir who happens to be sexy. And a pirate. And a cook!**

**Oh, snap! She asked 100 whole questions! .**

**Don't worry, I'm not planning to die anytime soon. :) But you have to promise not to die for a long time, too!**

**Guess how soft your skin is? Hm...I'm not sure how to measure that, but I would guess that it's soft enough! Especially your hands, since you protect them. I hope it's not softer than girls', because you'd make your fangirls jealous! XD**

**Maybe Oda didn't give you a last name because it makes you more mysterious?--Girls like that.**

**Okay, I'll be a mommy! It's something I've always wanted to be! I love kids!**

**Of course I don't love the cosplayer over you! He's just another everyday guy under the suit, wig, and drawn on curly eyebrow. Nobody can beat Sanji-kun the super sexy pirate cook! ;)**

**Hooray! My scratch is already healing! And Diable Jambe is such an awesome move.**

**Gangster mafia. Mafioso, la famiglia, Godfather-style, cosa nostra. That stuff. :)**

**I'm sure you have other talents, Sanji-kun! Isn't being able to fight with your feet a talent? And you're the only person that I've ever seen that can set their leg on fire and not burn it off in the process. And you've got the talent of chivalry to all women (some guys I know wouldn't even be able to stand having to utter a gentleman-ish word to a girl)!**

**-Ahem! I have things to ask and state!-**

**1. Pencil or pen or marker?**

**2. Lemons or limes?**

**3. How many fish do you think there are in the ocean?**

**4. It suddenly started thunderstorming outside. o.o That's pretty weird...the sky isn't even dark.**

**5. Califa reminds me of my older sister. XP  
Only she dresses more casually and can't kick like that.**

**6. Do you prefer showers or baths? I always find myself too busy and have to take showers...What I wouldn't give to take a relaxing bath! 3 Or better yet, visit the hot springs!**

**7. Marimo says she's going to eat your face, and that you have a black hole in your pants. She curses in Russian at people sometimes.**

**8. The only color I've ever seen your eye and Zoro's eyes be are black, but some authors here write stories and say that your eyes are blue and Zoro's are green. Which is it?**

**9. What's your favorite scent? Mine is...cherry blossoms and sweet bean buns (or anything else that smells really sweet!)**

**10. Um...I'm running out of things to say...hm...Ask me a question, sexy pirate cook!**

**Is Luffy still here? If so,**

**-What if all the meat in the world suddenly disappeared?**

**-Oda-san said that you smell of meat. What kind of meat do you smell most like?**

**-Can you get your brother to visit here? x)**

**-You shrink and become chibi-fied after using Gear Third, but why do your clothes shrink along with that?**

**Okay, -inhales- DRAKE-SAN,WHYAREYOUSOHAPPYOMG? D:**

Dearest my Beloved Sarah-Chan, (WHAA!! IM SEXY!! IM A PIRATE!! AND IM A COOK!! AND SHE'S MY FUTURE WIFE!!!),

Hey! Why don't you ask a hundred too?

**Drake**: NO WAY!! FORGET IT!!

**Luffy**: let him! I just want Sanji to cook while he's answering them all!

**Drake**: ………

AWW!! I wont die either, Sarah-Chan!! I PROMISE YOU!!

Ahh! My skin is just as soft as yours is, Sarah-Chan! and my hand is so smooth that even the knives I hold slip off!!

Ha! Arigatou Gozaimas, Oda-Sama!! He made girls like me more!! MELLORINE!!

YOU DO?? I LOVE KIDS TOO!!

WAHH! SHE CALLED ME SEXY PIRATE COOK!! MELLORINE!! IM NEVER USED TO THAT NAME!! WAHH!!! MELLORINE!!

THANK GOODNESS ITS OKAY!! And wanna witness the Diable Jambe again? Anytime!

Oooo… I don't like those… reminds me of Mr. 0's Gang…

HAH!! IM BETTER THAN ALL OTHER GUYS!! I CAN MAKE MY FEET ON FIRE AND MY CHIVALRY IS AT ITS BEST!!

**Drake and Luffy**:………

**Luffy**: I'm hungry.

**Sanji**: wait till I answer all the questions.

**Luffy**: fineeee… BUT IM HUNGRY!!

Ahem. My answers…

1)are any of them useful for cooking? Kidding! Im using pencils to write down the costumers orders…

2) uhm…

**Drake**: don't think perverted, Sanji. Think that LEMON or LIME is food.

**Sanji**: ahh!! Lemon is more healthier than Lime, Sarah-Chan!! But…

**Drake**: I TOLD YOU NOT TO THINK PERVERTED, ERO-ERO!!

3) well… times 5 the population of the earth is how many fishes on the earth! Sarah-Chan!

4) ILL COVER YOU FROM THE STORM!! SARAH-CHAN!! DON'T WORRY!!

5)…ow… my balls still ache…

6) Baths! I hate showers… uhm. Wanna have a hotspring bath with me? Sarah-Chan? my beautiful Wife-to-Be?

7) well, tell her that im gonna send Luffy to eat her, and my pants aren't part of the galaxy where black holes originate AND I'll curse her in French! BUT WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO DO THAT?! (cries) I LOVE HER AS WELL!!

8) hm?

**Drake**: Yaoi stories, that is…

**Sanji**: OH SHUT UP!! And yeah… I look cooler with blue eyes… CURSE YOU, ODA-SAMA!! YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME BLUE EYES!!

9) Anything as long as it impresses the girls all around!

10) okay! Um… give me 10 reasons why you love me!

And Luffy, your turn.

**Luffy**: I DON'T WANNA ANSWER QUESTIONS!! I WANT TO EAT MEAT!! WAHH!!

**Drake**: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST ANSWER IT!!

**Luffy**: I don't love Enel! That fake god!!

**Drake**: WHATEVER!!

1)WHAAT?! Im going to suffer eating veggies and fruities!! NO!! TELL ME THAT WONT HAPPEN!!

2) sniff! CHILI CON CARNE!!! WHAT SANJI IS COOKING!!

**Drake**: he meant beef, Sarah-Chan.

3) Ace? Sure…

4) hmm… maybe my clothes are also rubber!

**Drake**: ITS NOTHING! ITS JUST THAT VANESS--- I mean… nothing…

**Sanji**: Ah! Stop denying! Its Vanessa-Chan!!

**Drake**: WHEN I SAY NOTHING, NOTHING!! DAMN IT!! (blush)

**Sanji**: that's okay, Drake-San, we're the same!!

**Drake**: SHUT UP!!! (turns away)

Hehe, that's it, Sarah-Chan!! that's your answer!

Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: uh-oh!! LUFFY!! EMERGENCY!!

**Sanji**: why? Whats wrong?

**Drake**: GUESS WHOS NEXT?!

**Sanji**: T-Takono-Chan…?

**Drake**: HOLD HIM, LUFFY!!!

**Sanji**: (turns dangerously Lovey-Dovey) WHAAAAAAAAAA!!! TAKONO-CHYYAAANNN!!!

**Luffy**: DON'T WORRY!! GOMU GOMU NO…… SCREWW!!!! (both hands extends and ties up Sanji)

**Sanji**: NOO!! LET ME GOO!! I WANT **TAKONO-CHYYAANN!!!!!**

**Drake**: JUST SHUT UP AND WRITE BACK WITH YOUR MOUTH!!

* * *

**ok, when i said "mo", i meant "moo". my sisters computer gives me typos ALL THE TIME**

**youre still happy about last time, arent you...?**

**STOP SAYING I MISSED YOU! I GOT SO (i think) ANNOYED!(well, actually i cracked up, and didnt fall off my chair cuz i held onto the table)**

**PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON!**

**:D**

**dude, if i could, i'd ask more questions, but those 100 wore me out. (arent i smart :D)**

**♥ --takono**

DEAREST MY BELOVED TAKONO-CHYAN!!

I LOVE YOUU!!

Oh! You meant moo! HAHA!! LUFFY LOVES COW MEAT!!

**Luffy**: WHERE?! WHERE?! (suddenly lets go of Sanji)

**Drake**: LUFFY, NO!!!

**Sanji**: WHAAA!! IM FREE!!

Okay! I'll stop, gomen, gomen (bows)

WAAAHH PUFF PUFF!! THE MAGIC DRAGON!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!!

ASK MORE!! PLEASE!! I LOVE YOU!!! WAHH!! MELLORINE!!WAHHH!! SO SMART!! I LOVE THAT!! AND I LOVE YOU, TAKONO-CHYAAANNN!!! MELLORINE!!

-Sanji (still dangerously Lovey-Dovey)

P.S. **Drake**: GOOD SUGGESTION!! LUFFY YOU BAKA!! WHY DID YOU LET HIM GO!!!??

**Luffy**: SHUT UP!! I THOUGHT THERE WAS A COW SOMEWHERE HERE!! IM HUNGRY YOU KNOW!!

**Drake**: Sigh!! (Sanji still jumping around the room)

**Sanji**: WAAHH!! I LOVE TAKONO-CHYAAN!! WHAA!! (falls)

**Drake**: Sanji-San! You okay?

**Luffy**: DON'T DIE!! I MIGHT DIE OF HUNGER!! WHO'LL COOK FOR MEEEE?!?!

**Sanji**: im fine Bakas! Just get it on!!

**Drake**: Okay, Next! Panda-Chan!!

* * *

**Hello my sexy kick-ass pirate cook Sanji-kun,  
Oh and HI LUFFY! Let's see, yes I will snuggle with you in Thousand Sunny. My friends are my friends, and we make fun of eachother all the time. I would love some of your cooking with white wine. Hum let's see, I think the shampoo you use is Garnier Fructis, because that stuff works so well and it smells great! Oi, I have a black kittie named Zorro (like Spanish for fox), and a horse named Gus, 'cause I'm a cowgirl!**

**Luffy's questions:  
1. Can I be your pirate musician? I can play the piano, guitar, and I can sing!  
2. Is your tongue rubber too?  
3. Do you guys want to hear my spork poem?!  
(clears throat)**

**The Color Of Sporks**

**Have you ever used a spork?  
A combination of a spoon and fork.  
You use it at picnics or casual lunches,  
To eat that nasty potato munches.  
Use it as a weapon and poke your brother  
I only have on sock have you seen the other.  
Dear me, I just got off track,  
But please don't give me any smack.  
This poem is for a sporky color.  
Have you ever tried to rhyme with color.  
Sporks the wonderful plastic thing.  
Of the utensils, you are the king.  
Better than a fork or knife,  
Oh and that spoon, she must get a life.  
Yes the spoon is a she,  
But the others, you may call them he.  
Funny how a tool has a gender,  
But this poem is over, so I can return to sender.**

**4. Do you ever wish you could swim?  
5. What is your favorite meat?  
6. Did you know that vacuum has two u's?  
7. Haha, I have this really great joke!**

**Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him."**

**So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the boss said. "What do you mean?intelligence'?"**

**The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's intelligence!"**

**The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's intelligence?" said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."**

**8. Is it cool having Ace as an older brother?  
9. If Shanks asked for his hat back, would you give it to him?  
10. Do you like having a bounty on your head?  
11. Did the devil fruit taste good?**

**And questions for my Sanji-kun!  
1. What's your favorite kind of flower?  
2. What's your favorite card game?  
3. What's your favorite kind of precious stone?  
4. Have you ever heard any of Nat King Cole's songs? If so, what's your favorite?  
5. Have you ever heard of Spring Water scented hand soap? Because my brothers have that in their bathroom.  
6. What's the tastest fish you've ever had?  
7. What are your lucky or favorite numbers?  
8. Have you ever heard the song Shape of my Heart by Sting?  
9. Can you teach me how to be a better cook sometime?  
10. Why should you never smile at a crocodile?  
11. We don't have a song! Can we have one?  
12. Do you ever trust Magic 8 Balls or fortune cookies?  
13. Do you collect anything?  
14. What's your favorite Crayola crayon color?  
15. What comes after trillion?  
16. Can Luffy read any book longer than 100 pages?  
17. What's your favorite kind of art?  
18. If you arn't smoking, picking up chick, or cooking, then what do you do?  
19. If you can't tell me the cologne, what do you smell like?  
20. Do you have a shirt or something that says "Kiss the cook"?**

**So that's all I have for now! It was cool talking to you Luffy! And I love you Sanji-kun (kisses). Talk to you later or see you later if you want a date!**

**-Love,  
Panda**

Howdy, you Cute li'l Panda!! (im just testing my cowboy accent),

WAHH!! LUFFY WHEN WE GET BACK, LETS TAKE PANDA-CHAN ALONG!!

Why?

SHES GONNA SNUGGLE UP WITH MEE!!

Snuggle? Is that a new way of eating?

……… nevermind. You like my some of my white wine cooking? Okay! How about Chilis Con Gratin with luxurious White wine? Aww!! THAT'S SO CUTE!! If I had a cat, I'd name it Kiri!! A horse?

HORSE MEAT?!

Shut Up, Luffy, you'll answer yours soon.

Oh! Okay…

Okay, Luffy youre up!

HA! Im ready for anything!! My answers!

1) Sure! Finally some entertainment!!

2) (pulls out tongue) I Don't thenk sso! (pulls harder) aw! Awhkay! It isss wabba!!

3) you made me hungry! SANJI!! COOK MORE MEAT!!

4) yeah… so I cant eat the most tastiest fish under water!!

5) CHILI CON CARNE!!!!

**Drake**: he means Beef, Panda-Chan.

6) TWO OF ME?! Whoa!! I gotta check out that "Vacuum" thingy!!

7) um… whats "Intelligence"?

8) whenever he touches me I feel hot! But hes a good bro…

9) NO!! ITS MINE NOW!! I OWNED IT FOR YEARS!! NOW HE CANT TAKE IT BACK!!!

10) as long as it isn't heavy! My hat might break!

11) I didn't like it… it tasted like I was eating a tire!!

Ne, Sanji your turn! Now I'll eat!!

Okay!! My dearest Panda-Chan! my answers!!

1)roses… even though how much painful its thorns are!!

2) Poker or black Jack

3) anything YOU like!!

4) i… never heard of any! Gomen! But if you give me some titles, I might remember!

5) hehe, Nami-San always uses that!

6) never tasted any yet…

7) any number YOU like!

8) Know that the spades, are the swords of a soldier…

Know that the clubs are weapons of war…

And know that diamonds, are money for this art…

But that's not the shape of my heart…

Is that it? hehe, I suck at singing and sorry if I got any lyrics wrong! Its just that I heard I once…

9) Of course, Panda-Chan!! I will!!

10) because… the crocodile does not know how to smile?

11) PICK ANY SONG YOU LIKE!!

12) not. Those shitty things always do MAKE BELIEVE… you, Panda-Chan, do you?

13) no… I only collect recipes from people…

14) Any Light color is nice

15) Ten Trillion!

16) as long as he eats my special Chili Con Carne… tsk. But when he's not eating, he'd probably fall asleep…

17) Any YOU like!

18) just… watch the stars or the blue sky above… wanna join me if im not doing anything, Panda-Chan?

19) the sweetest thing you ever smelled… hehe

20) I wish I had one!

**Luffy**: it was fun talking to you! You really raised my appetite!

**Sanji**: (receives kiss) I LOVE YOU TOO, PANDA-CHAN!! WAHH!! MELLORINE!! MELLORINE!! AND YES, I LOVE A DATE!!

-Sanji-kun

**Drake**: whew! Going smoothly… okay, up Next!! Zo-ZemonkeySan!!

* * *

**SANJI-KUN! I got questions for you!! Just not a 100! Did you realize that she never actually used the letter 'f'? yes that was a question.**

**Okay nuther one... If you were stranded on a small island and there were a bunch of natives that offered to help you in exchange for a pair of Nami's underwear, would you a) tell them to back off so you can perv over the panties or b) hand them over so you can get the hell of the stoopid island?**

**Next one... I found a yaoi story where you were paired with Arlong. Do you want to puke as much as I do? Or do u just want some sushi... I would want revenge personally. I mean seriously!! he's a FISH/SHARK MAN!! EW!!**

**Okay next... Do you like kitty cats? They are so fuzzy and warm and cuddly and cute and annoying!! You have to love them! Right?**

**Alrighty wat now... If Nami started to er, date! Ya lets go with that, date Nami. What would you rather do? A) jump from the tallest building you can find, B) give up and try you luck on Robin, or C) decide that if you cant have Nami no one can and try to kill Luffy? Don't pick C Luffy is too cute!!**

**Lemme see... How do you make your limbs all noodle like when you perv over a girl? Could you teach me to do it? It looks fun!! X3**

**And another... When you get old and your hair starts to grey, will you die it or let it take it's natural course?**

**Oh got one... When you bathe, what brand of shampoo do you use? Do you have a rubber duckie? If so what is his name? Do you like bubble bathes? Or do you prefer showers?**

**Ho hum... Did you ever have braces? Your past is so vauge! It's not fair to those who want to know every single detail about your life so they can recite it to others of lesser knowlege! No that is not me! I obsess over haramaki!! Sorry!**

**Um... Do you feel special when you cook? Like you know... HA! I can cook and you losers can't! In your boogery faces!!? Like that?**

**Oh!... How do you feel when you get bitched slapped by a hot girl? Does it make you wanna cry? If you do can I laugh at you? Crying people are fun to laugh at! No I'm not mean so shut up! I love you! X3**

**Hm... Am I asking you too many questions? Oh well I think you'll get over it.**

**I think this will be my final question... Why is it that you tend to get hurt in fics? I mean really! Can't you take care of yourself? Geez!**

**I lied that wasn't my final question... If you had to choose between a ox or a mule which would you pick? NOT TO EAT!! but to pet! You even THINK about cutting up an ox or a mule I will beat you to a pulp!**

**Okay... What is your favorite 3 letter word?**

**Serious question now... are you a pimp? I mean really! And if your not, if you were who would be your main lady? X3**

**All right last question for real this time... Do you sniff the seats of chairs?**

**Sorry I lied again, I feel like Usopp... What do you stuff your pillows with? Cotton or feathers? Or maybe even both!**

**I'm almost done... If you were to get married to say oh a girl, who would be your best man?**

**I swear... If you fell down a slide head first, would you cry or cuss?**

**Just about finished... What's more fun? A squirt gun or a stick of gum?**

**This is it!!... If the world was being ruled by damn dirty apes would you follow A) the monkey overlord or B)Monkey D?**

**Was that too many questions? Oh geez that was another one! Forgive me? ... Oops.**

Dear Zo-zemonkeySan,

MY ANSWERS… ahem…

Really?! Im gonna check that out!!

WAHH!! LETTER A!!! HAHAHA!!! MELLORINE!!

Great Gods… rescue me from the fires of hell… and that STUPID FISH!! WHO WROTE THAT FIC!! IM GONNA KILL EM!!!

KITTY!! WAHH! KITTY!! I WANNA BUY A KITTY!! SOOO CUTE!!

A…

**Luffy**: Arigatou!! Im a cute Kaizoku-Ga!!

AHEM. That's not PERV over a girl… THAT'S LOVEY-DOVEY over a girl and Sure! I'll teach you!! Its easy!!

Just take its natural course… dyeing it might damage my hair…

Guess the shampoo, and I don't have a duckie.

Braces? The one Neon has on his teeth? WHY WOULD A STUPID PERSON WEAR THAT!!!

Heck yea I feel special!! IM THE BEST COOK AND MY NAME IS EVEN KNOWN IN GRANDLINE!!

Sniff!! DON'T LAUGH AT ME!! IM GONNA KICK… You… love me? MELLORINE!! HAHA! SHE LOVES ME!! MELLORINE!!

Nope! You remind me of Takono-Chan!! hehe… D

DON'T BLAME ME!! BLAME THE SHITHEADS WHO WROTE TO MAKE ME SUFFER!!! DAMN IT!!

Hm.. the ox!! Its very hard working! So that's my pet!!

**Luffy**: can I eat it?

**Sanji**: NO!!

I.L.Y… (meaning I LOVE YOU)

WHAAAT?!?!?! ME A PIMP?! IM A LADIES MAN!! CALL THE LADIES THAT!! NOT ME!! My main girl? MY FANGIRLS!!

Damn it. ASK USOPP NOT ME!!

Both.

Luffy, do you agree to be my best man?

**Luffy**: YES I AGREE IM THE BEST MAN AMONG THE CREW! YEY!!

**Sanji**: BAGERRO!! I MEANT MARRIAGE!!

**Luffy**: is that a coronation event for the King of Pirates?

**Sanji**: NO!! BAKA!! Sigh… forget it…

Cuss.

A squirt gun

B. HAHAHAHA!!

Hehe. That's many but so what? I LOVE answering them!!

**Drake**: Last one!! OVL-Chan!!

* * *

**Hi Sanji! I'm sorry I haven't been commenting much.  
I've let you down. -droops head- Hnn. I tried to cheer my friend up, so we went to this chamber of horrors at Madam Tussade's Wax museum.**

**Some guy hit my friend in the face with a bone and said "compliments of Zoro" then laughed at her. So Now i'm depressed.**

Dear OVL-Chan,

Don't be depressed, please? I might cry!! AND WHOS THE GUY WHO SAID "COMPLIMENTS OF ZORO?" IM GONNA KICK HIM TO THE LAST DAY OF HIS LIFE!! Don't be depressed, OVL-Chan… I swear, im gonna make you happy!! Just pose another the start laughing!! Hehe!!

"a smile takes 3 muscles to work. But a frown takes more than 30 muscles to work…"

**-**Sanji-Kun

P.S. please take care, OVL-Chan, or you'll be hit next!!

**Sanji**: FINALLY!! Im Beat!!

**Luffy**: LETS GO OUT AND EAT!!

**Drake**: haven't you had enough?

**Luffy**: NO!! IM STILL HUNGRY!!

**Sanji**: ……

**Drake**: OKHAI!! We're done!! Anyways! We have to wait for the next edition! Thanks for the questions, Fan Girls of Sanji! Especially you, HS-Chan! hope you people write back!! And remember Luffy-San is still here, so make questions for him too!! Hehe!! See ya!!

**Sanji and Luffy**: DRAKE LIKES VANESSA-CHYAN!!

**Drake**: SHUT UPP!! (fights with Sanji and Luffy)

**Luffy**: MORE REVIEWS!! PLEASE!! BYEEE!!

**Drake**: COME BACK!! IM NOT DONE WITH YOU TWO!!

**Sanji**: RUN, LUFFY!!


	12. Sanji Interview 10 And A Problem

Ask Sanji

Part 11

(raining outside)

**Sanji**: sigh! Looks like it's a sad day today…

**Luffy**: SAD BECAUSE YOURE NOT COOKING ME FOOD!!

**Sanji**: yeh, yeh, I will!! (heads to the kitchen)

**Drake**: tsk… its so depressing, oh, well!! Welcome to another Ask Sanji episode here on Sanji Tonight!!

**Sanji**: well, get it on!!

**Drake**: First off, Keisha-Chan…

**

* * *

**

**Dear Sanji-kun,**

**I'm depressed.My stepdad commited suicide and I don't know why I even get out of bed anymore.A fried of my is worried about me and thinks I'll commit suicide too but I can't explain to her that I won't.So heres my one and only question,what should I do?**

-Keisha-Chan

P.S.I love you too Sanji-kun.

-Keisha-Chan

Dear Keisha-Chan,

Wha?! That's… sad… well, tell your not to worry, convince her that youre not going to, and most importantly, tell him/her that you are strong and you can move on without doing something bad to yourself… if anything is unclear, tel me again

-Condolence… Sanji-Kun

P.S. I LOVE YOU TOO!! MELLORINE!!

**Drake**: damn, these day is getting sadder and sadder

**Sanji**: tsk… I feel so flat… ive NEVER solved a suicide problem before!!

**Luffy**: (eating peacefully)

**Sanji**: anyways…

**Drake**: next up, Takono-Chyann!!

**Sanji**: REALLY!! (grabs letter)

**Luffy**: SHOULD WE HOLD HIM?!

**Drake**: no, he looks… even sadder?

* * *

**hi sanji kun...**

you were sane last cgapter, then supah happy(when reading my letter) then sane again. why?

if i'm special, how come youre gonna marry "applebomb chan"? i feel so unwanted. i guess no more questions then.(punches you in the stomach) bye.  
(running away crying while heartbroken)  
--takono(rips up youre "love" hearts)

Dearest my Beloved Takono-Chyan,

**Sanji**: ………

**Drake**?

**Luffy**: hm?

**Sanji**: T-Takono-Chyan?

**Drake**: whats wrong? Shouldn't you be jumping around yelling "Mellorine!!"?

Takono-Chyan! It wasn't my fault! Drake-San and Luffy were the ones who made me calm down!!

T-Takono-Chyan!! Im not gonna marry Apple Bomb-Chan!! I wasn't serious about it!! I was just playing around!! Don't feel that way, Takono-Chyan! IM SORRY!! You're more special! WHY? Takono-Chan I want to… (suddenly receives punch) TAKONO-CHYAN!! WAIT!! DON'T GO!! IM SORRY!! (runs out)

**Drake**: waah! He's getting away!! (runs after Sanji)

**Luffy**: don't! (stops Drake) let him go!!

**Drake**: WHY SHOULD I?!?! HE'S NOT FINISHED WITH THE SHOW!!

**Luffy**: THEN READ THIS BEFORE YOU YELL AT ME!! (gives letter to Drake)

**Drake**: (reads) oh… TSK!! What a day!!

**Luffy**: do you get what it means? I don't…

**Drake**: tsk. This is the outcome of Sanji's "LOVEY-DOVEY" attitude…

**Luffy**: eh?

**Drake**: if he wasn't "Lovey-Dovey" at that time, he should've accept that proposal from AB-Chan…

**Luffy**: eh?!

**Drake**: DON'T YOU GET IT STILL?! DAMN YOURE SO WEAK MINDED!!

**Neon**: ey! Hey! Whats going on?! And where's Sanji-San?

**Drake**: he went to chase after Takono-Chyan. AND before you yell at me, read this to believe. (gives letter)

**Neon**: (reads) damn that guy! MARRY? This is a SHOW not a place to ask proposals!! Darn…

**Luffy**: what now? Im hungry!

**Neon**: sigh! It isn't Apple Bomb-Chan's fault. Its Sanji's… too much Lovey-Dovey can cause this…

**Drake**: Luffy has a nice question asked. WHAT NOW!!

**Sanji**: ……… (walks in)

**Drake and Neon**: Sanji-San!!

**Sanji**: …Takono-Chan… TAKONO-CHYAN!! IM SORRY!! FORGIVE ME!! WAAHH!!!

**Neon**: sigh! I hope you learned your lesson today, Sanji.

**Drake**: yeah…

**Sanji**: its all my fault… (talking to self) damn shithead!! WTF AM I THINKING?! IM SO STUPID!!

**Drake**: whoa! Relax, Sanji!! Its not the end of the world!! There are many other fan girls out there!!

**Sanji**: No… you're wrong. Sure there are but, Takono-Chan… she's different… do you remember? That letter where I put all of my favorite fan girls in a list?

**Neon**: hm. Yeah. I do, why, what's wrong there?

**Sanji**: remember Takono-Chan was first on the list? And I said there were no first or second? And I said all my fan girls are treated EQUALLY?

**Neon**: yeah?

**Sanji**: I lied.

**Neon and Drake**: EEH??

**Luffy**: wha?

**Sanji**: I put Takono-Chan first on the list. What does that mean to you?

**Neon**: meaning… you like Takono-Chan the most?

**Sanji**: yea… she's the one I like the more better than the others. I treated her like she's on top. I was the one who said I LOVE YOU the most to her, She gave me names to insult o'l Platypus, I even helped her solve her problem about her friends ERO brother… and now, I treated her like shit, I made her feel unwanted, and now, she hates me… its all because of me, I messed this up… F!#$ this crap…

**Drake**: that teached you a GOOD lesson, Sanji-San and that lesson is, NO MORE LOVEY-DOVEY. Gods! I even thought your flirtyness is even more worse than this!

**Sanji**: yeah, you're right… from now on… no more Lovey-Dovey… this I swear… goddamn it, if it happens again, don't hesitate to hit me…

**Drake**: Cool. I get to hit Sanji-San…

**Sanji**: Takono-Chan, if you are still out there… Im Sorry. Really, I am. Forget that shitty proposal I made with AB-Chan. I was so blinded by love to see what happened… Takono-Chan, Forgive me? And Apple Bomb-Chan. im very sorry, but I have to take back that proposal we made. And I wasn't serious about it… I was too in love and I didn't know what is was saying… so if you feel hurt, go ahead and sue me, but I don't want anyone to be hurt… I just want to say sorry to you and my beloved Takono-Chan…

**Neon**: tsk! I dunno, but now im worried about the future of this column! Many people will sue us!!

**Sanji**: I don't mind that. I just want to fix this…

**Drake**: can we move on now?

**Sanji**: no… im already stressed out for the day… let Luffy take over.

**Neon**: you got it, Sanji-San. You go relax and I'll give word if Takono-Chan replies…

**Sanji**: Arigatou, Neon-Kun…

**Luffy**: can I eat now? Im starved!

**Neon**: okay, lets go to the kitchen…

* * *

**Drake**: alrighty folks, you saw what happened. Sanji-San caused something that made someone get hurt. So in the next chapter, Luffy-San is only here now. Um, im sorry for the ones who posted questions for today, Sanji-San will not be able to answer any questions that were posted today so, next time, folks!! Bye! 


	13. Sanji Interview 11 And An Apology

Ask Luffy? Or Sanji?

Part 12

**Neon**: DAMN IT!! LOOK AT OUR RATINGS!! IT ALL DROPPED!!! SANJI-SAN!! YOU DID THIS!!

**Sanji**: Oh shut up. I know its my fault, and now I owe all the people who post on this column a million apologies…

**Luffy**: Welcome to the new edition of Ask… LUFFY!!!

**Sanji**: OI!! ITS STILL MY COLUMN!! BAGERRO!!

**Drake**: let him. Youre still pooped out to answer, right?

**Sanji**: SHUT YOUR HOLE, ASS!! I CAN ANSWER NOW!! I was just… depressed yesterday…

**Neon**: well? Lets get on with this!! First off, OVL-Chan. um for Sanji.

* * *

**Ohiyo Sanji-kun! I'm back!  
Ooh, I've been a horrible commenter! I keep forgetting to send you my comments. :( . me sad. Anyway, my friend has moved on! Not only from Zoro, but she was so fed up... she went to another manga. But she still loves one piece. Heehee. Her new crush is... Uchiha Sasuke. Another pretty boy.**

Nyah! I can tell this isn't gonna end well. But hey, anything can happen right. And my friend is just as dark and ... unamused as he is! Wait...wait! I have to stop her! Sasuke is paired off with Naruto. I can't let her disrupt the SasuNaru-ness!!  
- Bye my love! I must visit Konoha and stop her before it's too late! -kisses Sanji's cheek- bye bye.

Dear OVL-Chan,

That's okay, OVL-chan! im always here to answer! And Uchiha Sasuke? Tsk! Zoro is better than him!! GO AND STOP HER!! (even though I hate o'l Platypus…)

Mellorine!! Mellorine!! Go and stop her OVL-Chan!!

-Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: uh-oh! We've got an angry fan girl!! SkZs-Chan!!

**Sanji**: tsk… I'm really gonna be dropped like crap…

* * *

**WHAT!! I asked all those flipping questions for nothing!! 30 flipping questions that took me nearly 2 hours to make. Oh ho ho so I was right the entire time, Sanji did like Takono-chan better than me. And here I am second on the list of favorite fangirls, what am I the fruit you get when they run out of freaking pudding!! And I was soo freaking excited about Sanji answering the questions today. I'm not mad that he likes Takono-chan more, o no that'd be too selfish, I stand for the rest of us fangirls. HE LIED. Maybe I'm just crazy, I don't know, but when you say everyone is equal your suppose to mean it. That's it, I refuse to review at all after this until he apologizes to everyone. That's all.  
- Sincerely, SKZS**

Dearest my Beloved SkZs-Chan (I still call you this even if you're mad),

Okay! Okay! Calm down!! Look. I really apologize! Im sorry!! Look, I don't want to hurt anyone anymore… and even if you're second on the list, does not mean you're the second I liked most. No. as I said the last time, I liked Takono-Chan better, BUT. It also means I like you better too. Why? I STILL TREAT MY FANGIRLS EQUALLY EVEN THOUGH I LIKE SOMEONE BETTER… and it means, Takono-Chan and the rest are still equal, no matter what happens… try to understand, SkZs-Chan… hope you will… and as compensation, im gonna answer your questions… just don't be mad, I still like you… and here goes…

**Sanji-kun  
I have no idea how I'm going to get 30 questions done. I had a hard enough time going for 20. Oh well, it's worth it. I managed to draw a picture of you last night (and Zoro marimo person but that was because I never draw him) It turned out really nice, it doesn't look like the way Oda-sensei draws you cause I have a style but I like it. Anways of course I'll race you! I'm probably going to lose but hey, that's okay your older and probably 100 times stronger. Plus your a guy.  
Questions!**

**1. Do you think that this far into the series, that you'd be able to beat all of the guys that you've fought before by yourself. For example Arlong or Krieg.  
2.Do you have any jealously towards men that are famous like Orlando Bloom?  
3. You know you are super skinny, is that because of the time you were starved nearly to death?  
4. You are the one, the one that lies close to me. Whipsers hello, I miss you quite terribly...lalala oh wait I was suppose to ask a question... hmm whats your favorite song? (Here in your arms, HelloGoodbye)  
5. I just realized that most of the questions I asked, have been asked before. Ha I'm so stupid.  
6.You know that episode recap of your past made me cry, I don't cry ever.  
7. You whats the weirdess thing ever? I started liking you because Zoro was taken! Ha, we were watching the amercian version of One Piece, my sister asked me which one I thought was hot. Right when I was about to say 'The Green Guy' she said" The guy with green hair is really hot, whats his name?" I was depressed until I remembered a guy with blonde hair (you)from a comercial and I said " So, the guy with blonde hair is hotter." She obviously had no idea who i was talking about. It was funny I never knew your name cause we were only in the Buggy arc. So you were known as the guy who did that spinny kick in the intro until the Baratie arc. Then I was in love, ha that brings back memories.  
8. Now that I think about it, I'm glad I like you better. Marimo is mean.  
9. Okay I need to stop ranting on and on about things, Umm did you really stay on that carved up rock for 85 days, thats what the book said.  
10. Who's taller Marimo or you, your drawn taller than him in the anime. But it's the opposite in manga.  
11. About question 11 last time, you weren't telling ME to work out and go on a diet. Were you? (evil eye)  
12. Have you noticed a lot of the famous bands or singers come from Canada? Like Three Days Grace, Nickelback, Avril Laviene (don't ask me how to spell that)  
13. Do you have a quote? Like mine is, " Nothing can hold back tears of pain, not even waterproof mascara" I made that up by the way.  
14. The guy who stalking me and Alyssa is named Decker. What kind of name is that?  
15. (smacks forehead) You are a cannon character Sanji-kun! You were orginally made by Oda Sensei! OC's are characters made by authors...I give up!  
16. You know one reason why I love you? You can cook really well, I'm not allowed near the stove cause I can't cook toast. There is always something I screw up when I comes to cooking.  
17. Okay I just read Smallstream's review to you, now I'm sad. I don't even know her and I'm depressed.  
18. Okay focuss!! Holy crap I have 12 more to go! Why can't you just ask me questions?!  
19. Have you ever broken anything? Like seriously broke something? Arm? Leg? I haven't it's kinda sad, I sort of want to know how it feels.  
20. Do you believe in karma, I do cause it happens to me and everyone I know! Like once, Alyssa was making fun of her mom for falling down the stairs and breaking her tail bone. Well Two weeks later she fell on ice and broke her tail bone.  
21. Are you emotional like Franky, just curious.  
22. Speaking of Franky, don't you ever wish he'd put some pants on?  
23. I can't think of anything!! (pretends to shoot self)Are you ever jealous of Zoro's ambition?  
24. There is nothing behind that hair of yours besides an eye and another curly eyebrow, right?  
25. Do all of your boxers have hearts on them?  
26. Why does the amount of swirls always change when you do different expressions?  
27. Do you ever have second thoughts about liking Nami, ever?  
28. Do you ever find your self gawking over american models like Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie?  
29. What's your favorite dish to cook?  
30. Okay last question! Do you like just plain Black Tea or flavored?**

**Okay thats it! I can't do this anymore, I'm limiting myself to 15 a day now. That took nearly an hour and a half. Oh well, since I asked you so many questions I deserve a kiss or something.  
Love, SKZS **

Dearest my Beloved SkZs-Chan,

Sigh!! Hope you raise it to 50!! BUT!! In the same time, im gonna ask you questions!! I know its hard asking 30, but, im gonna ask you too since you ask me to ask you, ehe. Okay! Youre on!! But I'll take it easy on you, or I'll burn up the pool coz I swim too fast!! AHEM!! My answers…

1)tsk! I can beat them up now! I have my Diable Jambe and my other new kicks! But Luffy killed Krieg and Arlong does not yearn for a fight… but if I had another chance, I'd take it, SkZs-Chan

2)sort of… Orlando Bloom? The one on the movie POC3? (Pirates of the Caribbean 3) yeah, sometimes I think hes better with the ladies than I am…

3) um… how'd you guess? Mellorine!! So smart!! Mellorine!!

4) AWW!! Sing it again!! That's a cute song!! Any slowpace song is nice, SkZs-Chan…

5) No! youre not stupid! Youre smart! Mellorine!!

6) aww, someone out there actually cares for me… that's so sweet!! Mellorine!! Mellorine!!

7) haah!! I love those memories, SkZs-Chan… that's also the time I became popular… but yours is quite interesting, though. Hehe. since I am seen in a commercial… Mellorine!

8) HE IS MEAN!! O'l Platypus does not care about anybody but only cares about (mimics Zoro's voice) " I wanna be the greatest swordsman" "Im gonna beat Mihawk" "that's the promise I made to my friend" tsk! Even my voice pretending to be him is worse! Glad you love me, SkZs-Chan!! Mellorine!! Mellorine!!

9) approximately 85, SkZs-Chan. you, have you been isolated or something similar to that?

10) Im taller! Which do you believe better?! A TV show or a book full of paper?! And DAMN YOU ODA-SAMA!! IM SUPPOSED TO BE TALLER!!

11) um… I WAS telling you! Don't glare at me like that! I swear!! Who else I was talking to the last time? Drake-San? Luffy? No!! only you, SkZs-Chan!!

12) yeah I did. And the spelling of Avril's name is Avril Lavigne. Hehe, no person is perfect, SkZs-Chan!

13) yeah, my favorite quote is "Mellorine!" and yours Is very interesting! Tell me why tears cant be held back even by a water proof mascara?

14) okay, that's it, this Decker guy is a dead man. And I thought Mr. 2's name was weirder…

15) WAHH!! Don't be mad, SkZs-Chan!! I was just testing you! I knew what It means!! Im just kidding!!

16) yep, one of my best talents, cooking! Glad you love that! Other people just love my curly-brow and my bangs, but what you have to like better is the persons Talent!! Um. Do you have any other than cooking? And If you suck at cooking, I can help you out!

17) don't be, SkZs-Chan, im sure Keisha-Chan is doing fine now…

18) I have a question!! Do you like the way I "Mellorine!" ??

19) I got a few cramps on my leg, but im used to it… you did you have any? If you did, just please take care next time, I don't want any of my fan girls to be hurt…

20) o.O wow, now I believe in karma!

21) sometimes. But im LESSER than Franky.

22) I already told him to!! WTF is he not wearing the pants I gave him?!

23) why should I be jealous?! I don't want to be a greatest person in the world! I just want to see All-Blue… you, SkZs-Chan? whats your ambition?

24) hehe, you guessed it right! So Smart!! Mellorine!

25) no, I have many different boxers. Like the one im wearing now, full of flowers! (NOT LITERALLY!!) beautiful flowers!

26) swirls? Whats that?

27) NEVER!! Why should I have?

28) P-Paris H-Hilton… (drools)

29) I think you asked this twice… but I'd gladly answer it again! All of my dishes I like, so all of them are my favorite. You, SkZs-Chan? what was your first dish you cooked?

30) flavored. I really hate black tea. You, SkZs-Chan, what kind of tea do you like?

Hehe, I want you to try to ask 35. THEN I'll give you a kiss… hehe…

-your Beloved Sanji-Kun

P.S. I hope you're happy… im really sorry SkZs-Chan… forgive me…

**Drake**: whoa! I was about to sleep!

**Sanji**: quit your yapping and whats the next letter!!

**Drake**: Shinzo… I mean Kurry-Chan.

* * *

**dear sanji,  
HEYY!!its evil K-chan the master of chickns here!  
1.ace is sexier than you (yes it is me, shinzomating!!)  
2. does sexi no jutsu PLEASE SAY ACE IS SEXIER THAN U!!  
3. takono stares at u in the shower!evil grin!!  
-evil K-chan master of chickns (we love cluckie from naruto abridged)**

Dear Kurry-Chan.

You're starting to annoy me here…

1)NO!! HE ISNT HOTTER THAN ME!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S HOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!!

2) (looks away) NO HE IS STILL NOT…

3) DON'T HURT TAKONO-CHAN'S FEELINGS!!

-from the annoyed, Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: hahahaha!! I have to admit, Shinzo-Chan is pretty funny!! Look what she did to Luffy!!

**Luffy**: (nose bleed) I s-saw something… bad…

**Sanji**: tsk! Im not falling for that trick! I remember when we visited Konoha, that Naruto guy did it to me and that's what happened!!

**Drake**: HAHA!! I can imagine you like that!!

**Sanji**: SHUT UP and hand me the next letter!!

* * *

**Argh... so many i missed you takano-chan... dizzy  
luffy are you still there? yo!  
ero-cook, i hate you... am i the first to tell you that? i like haramaki! WHEE! (random) BUNNIES WILL PWN YOU ERO-COOK! THEY WILL!  
ahem... here luffy meat!  
but ero-cook, i like your food so can you cook some for me? (oh yea BTW i'm a girl... just in case the name fools you to think i'm a guy...)... and i use kicks too... i bruised alot of people with my kicks and punches... bye luffy! oh and ero-cook...**

Dear 3PK-Chan (nice nick)

**Luffy**: hai!!

**Sanji**: my very first Hater…

**Drake**: acknowledge her! Shes your first!!

**Sanji**: this ones worser than Kurry-Chan…

**Luffy**: ARIGATOU!! HAHA!! MEAT!! IM STARVED!!

Calling me ero-cook will not convince me to cook food for you. Be nice and I'll give you my best… and I use kicks better than you. Do you know how to use Diable Jambe? I don't think so…

**Luffy**: BYE!! THANKS FOR THE MEAT!!

**Sanji**: tsk.

-Sanji and Luffy

**Drake**: chill, Sanji-San! Shes your first hater!! That's cool!!

**Sanji**: well, yeah, I guess, not all CC's have fans… haters as well. And you know what? Im beginning to feel the pain what Zoro is experiencing in his Column…

**Luffy**: She's nice! Chomp!

**Sanji**: stow it, Luffy. Who's next?

**Drake**: we got another angry one here!

* * *

**WAH!! Poor Sanji-kun!! There's no way Takono hates you!! Never EVER!! Now I will do my best to cheer you up okay?**

**I love you!! So does Takono!**

**Stop sulking or I'll kick your ass! When your all sad I just wanna kick you!**

**Zoro is way cooler than you. He wouldn't cry like that. You could learn something from him. Geez your such a pansy sometimes.**

**Oh I'm sorry I'm supposed to make you feel better... I'm not really good at this so be grateful I'm even trying!**

**-pats you on the head- It's gunna be okay. I swear on a volume of One Piece manga.**

**If you don't get happy all your fangirls will be sad too... even the ones you treat less equally. jerk.**

**You know what now that I think about it... You deserve this! I hope that you get beaten up by all of you unequal fangirls. kicks you in the gut**

**Stupid jerk.**

**Love Zo-chan**

Dear Zo-Chan

… um… I have no words on this… but I know im a pansy, I know its my shitty fault. Fine, Zoro is cooler than me, and ALL THE INSULTS YOU GIVE ME, im going to take it in and thorw it away. (receives kick)(but blocks it) let them hurt me. Its my fault anyway… AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA CHEER ME UP?!

Fine, im going to be nice and happy, but if and only IF I say sorry to all my fangirsl. AND THEY ARE STILL BEING TREATED EQUALLY, NO MATTER WHAT!!

Thank you.

-Sanji

**Sanji**: the insults hurt, but… tsk. I really have to make it all up for it…

**Drake**: …

**Luffy**: (still eating)

**Drake**: next, Keisha-Chan.

* * *

**Dear Sanji-kun,  
Great.Good job Sanji.You broke poor Takano-chan's heart.Tsk tsk,and I thought you were nice.You won't see me on Ask Sanji very much anymore.One last question Sanji,why'd you do it?Think about your actions ero-cook.Maybe less hearts'll get broken.**

-Keisha-Chan 

Dearest my Beloved Keisha-Chan,

…Keisha-Chan? im sorry!! I AM A NICE PRESON!! I just… don't know what am I saying… no… DON'T GO, KEISHA-CHAAN!!! IM SORRY!!! I just wasn't thinking, Keisha-Chan… im… (bows head) she called me Ero-Cook… sigh…

-your Beloved Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: still can bear it?

**Sanji**: I can. Gah. This hurts even more… one of my favorites… called me an Ero-Cook…

**Luffy**: (STILL eating)

**Drake**: guess whos next?

**Sanji**: Sarah-Chan?

**Drake**: close enough. Its Takono-Chan.

**Sanji**: TAKONO-CHAN?! lemme see!! (grabs letter)

* * *

**(wipes away tears and reads chapter 12) aw how sweet...(hug) you can be lovey dovey, I just got scared. really scared. and whatever kurry says, DONT LISTEN(except for the one about ace) i forgive you. (kiss)**

--takono 

Dearest my Beloved Takono-Chan,

Im gonna cry now!! No. (receives hug) nah, I don't want to be lovey-dovey, so I wont make you scared anymore… and sure I wont listen to Kurry-Chan, but IM STILL HOTTER THAN ACE!!! DAMN IT I AM!! (receives kiss) WAHH!! I mean. Arigatou… well, (sigh) I feel better, but, I still have a LOTTA problem to solve… Arigatou Gozaimas.

-your Beloved Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: well, you feel better?

**Sanji**: sort of. I still have a lot of things I gotta do.

**Luffy**: can you cook NOW, Sanji?!

**Sanji**: sure I can, the next letter is for you anyways.

**Drake**: Panda-Chan to Luffy.

* * *

**Hi Luffy,  
Here are a few questions for you! After I explain what intelligence is: it is the capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths, relationships, facts, meanings, etc. **

**1. What was the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?  
2. How much do you eat in one day?  
3. I noticed that both you and Ace eat a lot. Is it a family thing or a devil fruit thing?  
4. What if your hat was leather instead of straw?  
5. What does it feel like when you get shot?  
6. What's most annoying about all your crw members?  
7. Who do you think was the uglest guy you had to fight?  
8. Did you know it takes 7 muscles to smile but only 4 to bitch-slap somebody?  
9. Besides any food scent, what's your favorite smell?  
10. Why do you love your "special seat" on the "Going Merry" so much?  
11. How did you meet Shanks?  
12. What's your favorite rubber move to use?  
13. Why do you always believe people when they say that they have like 100,0,0,0 people with them, when it's always a lie?  
14. What's the longest book you've ever read?  
15. What's your favorite song to sing?  
16. Because your nose is rubber, can you mimic Usopp's?  
17. How far can you stretch?  
18. Why do you like meat so much?  
19. If you could choose between a lifetime supply of apple pie or 1 steak, which would you choose?  
20. Do you know any synonyms of huge?**

**Thanks Luffy, it's always fun to ask you questions!(hugs)**

**see ya later,  
Panda-chan**

Dear Panda-Chan

**Luffy**: EYAHOO!! FINALLY QUESTIONS FOR ME!!

Um, you made me ask another question! What is the capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths, relationships, facts, meanings, etc.?

1) Gomu Gomu no Mi. and at first I thought it was dessert!!

2) um… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,…(keeps counting till ten) what comes after ten?

3) a family thing, I think?

4) im going to give it back to Shanks. I like Straw Hats better!

**Drake**: (giggle) the name will change to Leather Hat Pirates hehe!!

5) I dunno, I can feel my skin stretching in then it goes back out!

6) I don't know! Never thought of it!

7) maybe Arlong…

8) um… no?

9) MEAT PERFUME!! (even if I don't know what perfume is…)

10) maybe, no reason?

11) when I first saw the Red-Haired pirates came to the town.

12) Gomu Gomu no Pistole!! My very first move!!

13) because its true, right?!

14) a 1 and a half page book!

15) I don't know! Maybe any pirate song is nice!

16) I'll try!

17) 30 Gomu Gomu's

18) because its HEALTHY!!

19) STEAK!! ILL NEVER TAKE SWEETS!! I HATE IT!!

20) small?

Hehe!! Im the greates pirate who can answer questions! So ask me anytime!!

-Luffy

P.S. Sanji says Arigatou Gozaimas. And he loves you too.

**Sanji**: Oi! Oi! Chili Con Carne is finished!! Here ya go!

**Luffy**: ITADAKIMASU!!! WAHH!! IM STARVED!!

**Sanji**: any more?

**Drake**: Last one.

**Sanji: **who is it?

**Drake**: take a look!

* * *

**Hello Sanji-kun! I'm your biggest fan! No really, I am. Anyway, I have a question: Can I dye Zoro's Hamaraki pink to match his hair?  
-Puppy**

Dear Puppy-Chan (Cute Name!)

Sigh! Nice to hear that from you, Puppy-Chan! ahem, my answer, why not? And do it while he's sleeping, that'll be better! Hehe

Ill be glad hearing more from you!!

-Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: so short, no?

**Sanji**: yeah. And its nice to hear "I'm your biggest fan"…

**Drake**: anyways, that's all for today!! Till next time!! See ya!

**Sanji**: wait. Let my Fan Girls who are mad at me read this…

_**Dear to all my Fan Girls…**_

_**I know now you feel bad and mad about what I confess in the last edition, and I'm Sorry… Even though Takono-Chan is the Best, you still are my Fan Girls!! I still Love you, Fan Girls!! And without you, how can I be popular? But, all I'm saying is now, im really sorry for the pain im giving you. AND ITS NOT TRUE THAT IM TREATING YOU UNEQUALLY!! NO!! I know I lied, I know Takono-Chan is first on the list, but im treating you all, like you all are first on the list!! Don't be mad! Im still treating you equally, and im deeply sorry… will you forgive me? I don't care who's best or not best anymore and forget equal or un equal, i started this and im gonna end it and unitl now, no matter what happens you girls are still my fans… and I love you all. **_

_**Please forgive me?**_

_**-your Beloved Sanji-Kun...**_

* * *

**Drake**: sigh! Lets go, Sanji-San… 

**Sanji**: (head down) okay… sigh.

**Luffy**: IM STILL HERE OKAY!! ASK ME QUESTIONS TOO!!

**Drake**: see you!!


	14. Sanji Interview 12 French Twist?

Ask Sanji

Part 13

**Neon**: Ohiyo!! Well, sorry if we were not able to answer your questions Sanji Lovers/Haters! Well yesterday was my birthday and I had no time to open the letters for Ask Sanji…

**Drake**: happy birthday.

**Sanji**: yeah, same here.

**Neon**: well, announcements, announcements and more announcements. Today is Luffy's last day here, so any questions for him in the next edition of Ask Sanji, FORGET IT!!

**Trisha**: HEY YOU TWO BUCKET OF BRAINS!! YOU PROMISED ITS MY TURN TO BE WITH SANJI-KUN!!!

**Neon and Drake**: Trisha?!

**Sanji**: EEHHhh?? WHO'S SHE?! She looks cute!!

**Trisha**: arigatou, Sanji-kun. AND YOU TWO SCRAM!!

**Drake**: tempt me!

**Neon**: MAKE ME!! IM THE ONE IN CHARGE HERE!!

**Trisha**: well, Drake-San, im gonna tell everyone about your love affair with Vanessa-Chan and Neon-Kun, im gonna withdraw the PSP I gave you for your birthday.

**Neon**: NO!!! HAVE MERCY!!! FINE IM LEAVING!! How bout Drake-San?

**Drake**: tsk. Forget that. We already broke up.

**Trisha**: Aww… and I wanted to be alone with my Sanji-Kun. (hugs Sanji)

**Sanji**: WAHH!! Mellorine!!

**Luffy**: hey! Im here too!!

**Trisha**: LUFFY-SAN IS HERE TOO?! (hugs Luffy)

**Drake**: lets get on with this before this gets catchy. First up, Takono-Chan.

**Sanji**: Ehhh? (ignores Trisha)(grabs letter)

**1) ok, now I feel like the one at fault here. If i wasn't so jealous, your ratings wouldn't have dropped, and no fan girl would have gone against you. I'm making you look bad. I'm making you feel bad. now, I'm hurting your love with other fan girls. I should apologize. and sanji, punch me in the shoulder if i do that again. you've gone through a lot of trouble. gomenasai.**

2) by chapter 20, how long will zoros "retardated-brained, jellyfished spined peanut butter faced apple sauce headed quack of a swordsman platypus mariano marimo the 1st" be?

3) want me to give you a cake to help you feel better?

4) (gives vanilla cake)

5) forgive ME for causing trouble?

--takono

(p.s. when will the 45 chapter long apology end? i wanna go back 2 normal)

Dearest my Beloved Takono-Chyan,

1)hehe, its not your fault, Takono-Chyan. Most of it was mine. And I don't like to punch you, my hands might easily break! And don't worry, Takono-Chyan, im gonna be okay. I hope.

2)hehe! Keep on giving names and it maybe 50 words long or more!

3) I appreciate the offer, Takono-Chyan. Arigatou! Mellorine!!

4) Mellorine! That's so sweet!!

5) I forgive you, Takono-Chyan. (pats head)

And now, its MY turn to ask questions!! Just to cheer you up…

1. how old are you?

2. who do you like better, Kakashi or Me?

3. what do you think about Drake-San?

4. can you tell Shinzo-Chan to stop irritating me about ACE BEING HOTTER THAN ME?

5. im going to bake you a nice blackforest cake!

Um, is it okay if I give you a kiss? I really feel sorry for you. Just to calm you down? And… do you still love me, Takono-Chan? I love you, you know?

-your idol, Sanji.

P.S. I have a feeling that soon it'll be back to normal, Takono-Chyan. Patience is a virtue.

**Sanji**: im gonna cry now…

**Trisha**: WHY?! WHAT DID TAKONO DID TO YOU?! IM GONNA KILL HER!!

**Drake**: stay calm, Trisha. Or I'll lock you up in the basement again.

**Trisha**: I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO HURT SANJI-KUN, GETS?!

**Drake**: TRISHA, I SAAAID, SHUT YOUR –CENSORED- MOUTH UP!!

**Trisha**: fine…

**Drake**: next up, MarimoLurv-Chan

**To, poor sweet Sanji-kun**

It seems you aren't doing very well at the moment.I feel so sorry for you, but don't worry; you probably have plenty of fan girls left. Including me. But don't think that it's just you I fan girl over. I also have a thing for swordsmen in general, and Marimo's (the plant)

If you ever need someone to talk to you, who will take your problems seriously, I'll be happy to help you out.

And to cheer you up here are some questions from me to you:

1. At the moment I am working on my theory for my driver's exam. Do you have any tips on studying?  
2. Could you give this sword polishing kit to Zoro? ( his swords need to be shiny and ready for battle )******  
3. And how did you like the socks I knitted for you, to keep your lethal feat nice and warm. (I hope they don't itch too much.)**

Luffy you are still there right?, I hope you like the barbeque-sauce.

Greets, hugs and kisses,

MarimoLurv

Dear MarimoLurv-Chan,

Sigh! Im really gonna cry now… at least someone out there cares for me!! Sure, MarimoLurv-Chan, you can help me out if im down. Arigatou!! Sniff!

Okay, ill stop. Im gonna give answers!

1) don't drink and drive!

2) I'll give it to Luffy when he leaves.

3) Aw!! That's so Kawaii! Arigatou-Gozaimas!! Ill wear it!!

**Luffy**: WAHH!! I LOVE BARBECUE SAUCE!!! Sanji, you still have Chili Con Carne there right?

-with many thanks and returning love, Sanji-Kun

**Trisha**: whats going on with Sanji? He keeps sniveling now!

**Drake**: lets say he still has a cold.

**Trisha**: oh.

**Sanji**: whos next?

**Drake**: Dalesrose-Chan?

**MEs: SANJI-CHWAN! I LOVE YOU!  
My friend: Uh yeah that's something you would write... 0.o  
Mes: I love you as much as you love Nami and all the girls in the world except I only devote my lovies to you. 3 But I hope you can get a girlfriend even if it's not me cause that's how much I lovies you!! Oh! Right! The question! Would you go out with me?  
My friend: WHAT? What is wrong with you?  
Mes: Aw. Fine then. Urm...  
My friend: Get on with the real question!  
Mes: Would you go out with me?  
My friend: WHAT??  
Mes: Urm... What is yah favorite things? Besides girls and cooking. oh yeah, and will you go out with me?  
My friend: STOP ASKING THAT!!**

Dear Dalesrose Chan,

I love you too!

Ehh… go out?

Go out?

My hands are my favorite things. Very useful in cooking! And go out?

-Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: now what was THAT about?

**Trisha**: I can be like that too you know!!

**Drake**: to me, its even more worse than the letter if you be like that. Next up, YAHH!! HS-CHYAN!!!

**Sanji**: HUH?!

**Trisha**: THE INSPIRATION!!

** :O NANI?! IM IGNORED AGAIN! sulks in Tamaki's corner of shame Damn bastards . **

Dear the most respected HS-Chyan,

Eh? Did you post any questions? Luffy answered your question before! Um, ignored again? GOMENASAI, HS-CHAN!! as compensation, I'll give you a couple of questions. From Drake-San, Trisha-Chan, Me and Luffy

1) what gave you the idea to write the Ask Zoro column? And try to answer this. Kamusta Ka? -Drake

2) DO YOU LIKE TO GO SHOPPING?! –Trisha

3) Will you forgive me for ignoring you? Post another question, and I swear, you wont be ignored again!! –Sanji

4) Can you cook? If you can, then BE THE MUGIWARA'S NEW COOK!! -Luffy

-Sanji, Luffy, Drake and Trisha.

**Drake**: cant believe we actually IGNORED HS-Chan!!

**Trisha**: have respect! Shes our INSPIRATION!!

**Drake**: hey, she does not like to be called HS-Sama, it'll sound like shes an old lady!

**Trisha**: oh. Sorry.

**Sanji**: next is… whoa! 3PK-Chan!!

**Drake**: I like that name, sounds cool!

**arigatou luffy! here... meat! oh yea and luffy don't you have another favorite food except meat?  
fine... sanji... i apologize for being your first hater... i'll call you sanji now okay? not ero-cook... but... ehh... bye... i know i can't kick stronger than you... or use diable jambe... no need to be so blunt about it... jeez...  
here's a question for you, sanji  
1. who's kurry-chan?  
drake, thanks for commenting on my nickname... but most people just call me pyro and your nickname is cool too...**

Dear 3PK-Chan,

**Luffy**: WAAH!! MORE MEAT!!! HAHA!! IM STARVED!! Too bad its my last day here. Pyro-Chan is the only one giving me meat… another food? CHILI CON CARNE!! SANJI'S BEEF SPECIAL!!

**Sanji**: just eat, baka.

Gomen, gomen! Im not trying to boast that im better than you! It's a good thing you can punch but I can't… and I don't hate you at all if youre my first hater! Im just amazed youre the only hater I got!! Hehe, gomen once again.

1) Kurry-Chan? recheck the chapters and look for the name "Shinzomating" who keeps on irritating me that Portgas D. Ace is hotter than me… but I cant argue with girls! I just like the way they irritate me!!

**Drake**: well, you're welcome! But I want to call you 3PK-Chan. sounds cool, honestly! And thanks for your comment with mine.

-Luffy, Sanji and Drake

**Drake**: up next, OVL-Chan!!

**Sanji-kun.   
I have one thing to say to you, and you remember it well.  
-leans close to Sanji's face-**

DON'T YOU EVER INSULT SASUKE-KUN AGAIN!

He is a sweet boy! And he's not emo!! -hits Sanji's head- Got it! -pauses for a moment-

I'm sorry Sanji. I don't know what happened. -hugs Sanji- can you forgive me?? -kisses Sanji's cheek-

Dear OVL-Chyan,

What is it?

Yaah!! (falls down) yes! He is a sweet boy!! He's not emo!! Okay! Ow!! Don't hit me!! I get! I get!!

Eh? (receives hug) who cares?! (receives kiss) I REALLY FORGIVE YOU!! Mellorine!! Mellorine!!

-Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: thinking of Sasuke makes me think of Zoro in OP movie 5, when he became traitor to the Mugiwara.

**Trisha**: DON'T TALK TO SASUKE-KUN LIKE THAT!! I LOVE THAT GUY!!

**Drake**: okay! Okay!! Just don't scream!! Next!! Whoa! SkZs-Chan!! and its reaaaally long!!

**Sanji**: I hope its not filled with the words "I HATE YOU"

**Drake**: its not. Take a look!

**Sanji-kun,   
Wow, no litturly WOW. I'm surprised, not only do I forgive you I probably should apologize too. Sorry about getting so mad, jealously bug bit me again. And again and again, I felt so childish after you apologized. But before I also felt bad for the other fangirls...Alyssa's right, I'm too compassionate. Thanks for apologizing.  
Now that I think about it, don't go easy on me! I'm pretty sure I can beat you now, since I practise everyday! Bring on (sexy) love cook!**

Before I ask the questions, I shall answer all the ones you asked me.  
(these are the numbers of the questions you asked me on.)  
9. I don't think so, I've had a pretty normal childhood.  
11. I know this wasn't a question but I think you misunderstood me. I was making sure you weren't telling me that i NEEDED the excersize and dieting.  
12. Not a question but again I have to say, imperfection is the key to being human.  
13. Haha, as a matter of fact I have no idea why water proof mascara cannot hold back tears of pain. Usually because the brands always lie or tears that come from a shattered heart are too strong.  
16. I know there is a question in there, but I can't understand it...maybe there was a typo that threw me off.  
18. It's like the eyebrow, if you didn't say then it'd be one less aspect I like about you.  
19. Never hurt myself, ever...well there are times that I back into corners, walk into walls, walk into windows that look like doors, walk into doors that look like windows, trip over my chair, stubb my toe on my desk, trip over someone bending over, and slipping on a golfball. But hey I survived without breaking anything.  
23. My ambition? To be the best I can possibly be. Unlike the guy with the big forehead, I'm not pushing past my limits.  
26. Again, I think you misunderstood me. I forgot to type eyebrow in there. I ment why does the amount of swirls in your eyebrow change when you do different expressions.  
27. Don't make me answer that.  
29. I like seafood, I'm not a big cow/pig/ whatever animal that is on a farm sort of eater. First dish i cooked? If your talking about home cooking, none. I cook from the can or the box cause at least it says how much, how high to cook it, and it takes less time. Like you, I'm skilled with my hands just not in cooking.  
30. Iced Black tea, or Tangerine flavored white ice tea. I'm not a big hot tea fan.

Wow, okay now the questions for you!

1. Do you ever get tired of answering so many questions?  
2. Are all your fans that come to this column girls?  
3. Do other crew members often come to you for advice about love or something along the lines of that?  
4. If I told you that I can read a man like a book and play him like an electric guitar, would it scare you?  
5. Do you ever question Usopp's...sexuality?  
6. When you get a misquito bite and it's all big fat and bluggy (while your friend's are small) does that mean your allergic? They keep on eating me!  
7. Okey dokey, my friends always come to me for advice on relationships, even though I've never been in one, since like I said before I have talent for reading guys. Well this one friend wants to know if a guy likes her. But the guy is almost perfect (well to her) but she thinks she has no chance with him. She doesn't have the highest self esteem in the world. This guy though, he isn't the easiest to read. I really need help because she wants me to decipher two of there e-mails but all I can get is the guy is shy but likes he as a friend. Since you seem to be a pro at this sort of stuff, you wouldn't mind helping me would you?  
8. I'm very surprised, all of my friends think your some wack job cartoon. Well one of my actually sane friends (Her name is Olivia) said you'd look really really hot in person and that your pretty cool.  
9. I still think our brains would fall out if we're too open minded, there is no argueing me out of it.  
10. How long do you think it'll take for me to learn Japanese? I only have a little knowledge on it.  
11. Oda said that your eyebrow has the same power as the gravitational pull of the earth and moon. Well if your eyebrow was not curly, then everying in nature would fall out of balance?  
12. Do you think it's a little scary in an yaoi fangirls mind?  
13. Being compassionate and smart is normal...right? Because all my friends say I'm deeply deprived.  
14. Maybe they're just really really mean.  
15. Alrighty, last time I'm going to ask this, what do you think of you and OC pairings on this site?  
16. If a man can be a 'ladies man' than what can a girl be? A 'Mans lady'?  
17.I miss the Mr.Prince glasses, why'd you have to go and break them?  
18. Did you know Walt Disney was a chain smoker? We can guess now why he died.  
19. Are you a self declared atheist like Marimo?  
20. Do you have a high tolorence of achohol?  
21. Do you have a collection of wines and champane?  
22. This is getting too hard, you know I never was one to take up challenges.  
23. I hope you are aware that Zeff is handing out your hideious wanted poster to every customer in Baratie.  
24. Now that I think about it, you or anyone else on the crew (besides Robin or Franky) aren't even legally allowed to drink acholol.  
25. Have I bothered Drake with all my questions yet?  
26. I'm glad your treating everyone like the pudding and not the fruit cup again.  
27. Considering what happened in movie 7, you really have no knowledge when it comes to technology, do you?  
28. What does it feel like to get your shadow stolen?  
29. Do you think I'm weird for likeing depressing songs? They make me feel better, I don't know why.  
30. Do you think most pirates have a bad or somewhat bad past?  
31. Amoung your crewmates, who do you think have had the most worst past?  
32. Does the Diable Jambe hurt?  
33. Don't you get dizzy doing it?  
34. And your pants don't burn off?  
35. Why didn't Jyabura move when you hit him, is he that stupid?  
36. You're the only guy on the Going Merry who has any sense of style.  
37. Wait a minute, when KuroMarimo shot the afro at you and the other Chess guy caught it on fire you started freaking out. Now when you do the Diable Jambe the fire doesn't freak you out then.  
38. Wait how'd you learn how to do the Diable Jambe? Catching your leg on fire is not a normal hobby.  
39.Do you read any other manga?  
40. Would you ever get your ears pierced or get a tattoo?  
41. I was very close to nameing my Zune (an mp3 player) after you, but Alyssa would have hit me really hard. I named it Pooky.  
42. If i haven't bothered Drake yet, I have to now.  
43. In art class we were suppose to make a bust of someone or some sort of animal. I tried to make you but they didn't have skin colored glaze so I had to use orange. You look like you had a bad fake tan, tsk it's staring at me still right now...  
44. Speaking of bad tanned, how come you never tan? You wear black so it should absoab the sun, yet your still a cracker.  
45. That's it, I'm going for 50!  
46. I think my obsession for you and One Piece is at a healthy level...right?  
47. Of all the guys you have battled, who do you think is the stupidest?  
48. Was fighting Bon Clay, him being gay an all, weird?  
49. Have you ever tried to get Zoro to smoke, you know to calm his nerves?  
50. Yay 50!! Have you ever had a different hair style besides bowl cut?

50!! Ha i was going for 35, see I do still love you!!  
-Lots of Love SKZS

Dearest my Beloved SkZs-Chan,

That's alright. You forgive me, I forgive you, all is well!! Hehehe. Im fine now, and I really thank you for making me feel better… oh! And, hehe, good luck then! lets see whos better on blazing the pool!!

Now some of my answers to your answers from my answers, (gets? I don't.)

9) lucky you, SkZs-Chan! I hated that piece of rock. When I see it again, im going to smash it in two with my leg.

11) WAHH!! Don't hurt me!! You're already in perfect shape!! You don't need diet!! BUT you still have to exercise!! To keep that shape forever!

12) SO SMART!! Mellorine!! Wahh!

13) that's okay! At least you have an interesting quote there! Hehe!

16) as you said, SkZs-Chan, imperfection is the key to being human!

18) wah!! She likes the way I said Mellorine!! Mellorine!!

19) aw! But I still don't like you getting hurt!! You might one day, really hurt yourself really bad! Just take care, okay, SkZs-Chan?

23) you can do it, SkZs-Chan!! reach your goal!! And I still don't like the ambition of big forehead.

26) well, lets say it naturally changes when im really in some serious emotions. Hehe, and how it changes? It's a secret!

27) hehehe! That's okay, SkZs-Chan!

29) Seafood? Cool! Im going to cook you some!! And you learn to cook by cans and boxes? That's a new way of learning! Unlike me, I learned cooking with my ears being blown out of its place since old Fart keeps on shouting at me what to do…tsk.

30) hehe, ice tea? Okay! Im going to serve a nice seafood meal with ice-cold iced tea with it.

Okay!! My answers! Well, my questions are along with it too. Hehe.

1) No. how bout you? Are YOU tired asking many questions? Just tell me, then I'll ask you questions!

2) well, I think so! All I see is my fans and no haters yet! Tsk! Im actually waiting for a hater!

3) No. im kinda sad about that. But that's okay! I have a Column here anyway!

4) NO!! do what ever you want! Mellorine!! Mellorine!! Haha!

5) what do you mean, "SEXUALITY"?

6) yeah, that means you are allergic. Why? Are YOU ALLERGIC?! NO!! SkZs-Chan!!

7) Okay. Lets see. Oh, and BTW nice talent. Hehe. Anyways. Lets get on with this. Talk to the guy, can you? Find out about him more, and ask him what he likes about girls and the guys likes. You know, be friends with the guy. But DONT GO MORE THAN THAT!! Or you'll suffer!! Be friends with him, find out his likes and compare it with your friend's likes, dislikes and what she likes about guys. This way, it'll raise her Self Esteem and make her confess her feelings to the guy. But since the guy's shy, you help him out not to be. Try it out and it'll work. If you see anything wrong, tell me.

8) Wahh!! Tell Olivia-Chan to wish that im real so she can see how hot I am than Ace!!

9) okay, I cant really argue with girls… but… ehh, that's true anyway!

10) just keep practicing. And soon you'll get it right!

11) O.o that's cool! Arigatou, Oda-Sama!! Yeah, maybe that's possible! But its kinda scary though. Im having an eyebrow controlling the gravitational pull of the earth… O.o

12) YEEGH!! I DETEST YAOI!!! IM WARNING ALL YAOI FANGIRLS OF MINE, I WONT TALK TO YOU IF YOU ASKED ME IF I AM A VIRGIN OR NOT!! How about you, SkZs-Chan, are you… a… Yaoi Fangirl?

13) yeah. Its natural. And smart… Mellorine!! Youre smart!! Mellorine!! Mellorine!!

14) are they insulting you? Or commenting on you? If its an insult to you that's the right thing to say, but if it's a comment, say thank you, SkZs-Chan

15) its alright. But I don't like them pairing me with GUY O.C.'s… its really upsetting…

16) it's the same thing, SkZs-Chan. what do you think?

17) oh. You miss it? very well, im going to buy another. But I don't know what came into my mind when I destroyed it…

18) are… you scaring me? Im scared now. But im still not quitting on cigars… but im having second thoughts now…

19) you can say that. That's why I think there is no god after defeating Enel.

20) I want you to guess, SkZs-Chan…

21) a lot!! You want some? Or youre still young?

22) what do you mean, SkZs-Chan?

23) NANI?!?! Alright, Zeff, after I find All Blue and head back to Baratie, im going to kick your OLD -CENSORED- ASS!! But I look cool on the wanted poster, right?

24) tsk. AND I WANTED TO DRINK SO BADLY!! Um, SkZs-Chan. do you drink?

25) no, he's pinching Trisha's ear and keeps on yelling SHUT UP right now. So he does not mind. But im asking this to my fangirls now, what do you think of Drake-San?

26) sigh, I wish this issue wont happen again… and im still apologizing to you, SkZs-Chan… but now I'm treating everybody like the pudding!!

27) hehe, as I said im not used to this world full of high-tech yet…

28) brrr… its scary… I don't like that… how about you? What does it feel like to get your shadow stolen?

29) No! youre not weird!! Its cool when depressing songs make you feel better! And I just wanna ask, what depressing songs do you like?

30) yeah, most of them do.

31) I have the most! Getting stuck on a piece of shitty rocks for 85 days is a bad past, right?

32) nope. Its flashy, aint it?

33) nope. Im used to keeping myself balanced after I spin.

34) lets just say my pants are fireproof!

35) he IS stupid.

36) Arigatou Gozaimas!! Mellorine!!

37) its because its MY fire I made. Not thiers.

38) that's a secret technique Old Fart gave me. Hehe, and it'll still remain a secret!

39) Naruto is nice. That's the only magna I read anyway!

40) I was wishing that. But everybody likes my style now, so I cant change. You, SkZs-Chan, you like piercing your ear and getting a tattoo?

41) hey! How about calling me Pooky! And what's the problem naming your MP3 player after me?

42) wait.

**Sanji**: OY! Drake-San! You irritated yet?!

**Drake**: HELL YEAH I AM!! IM GOING TO MAKE RULES NOW!! ONLY 15 QUESTIONS PER EDITION OF ASK SANJI!!

**Trisha**: SHUT UP BECAUSE IM NOT DONE ARGUING WITH YOU, TEME!!!

**Drake**: YAAH!! (Trisha pulling hair of Drake)

Well, that's your answer!

43) aww, that's so sweet! Mellorine! Tsk, but I don't like the sound of orange!!

44) hehe, you LIKE my skin don't you? That's a secret of mine! You? Ever got a Tan?

45) GO FOR IT, SkZs-Chan!! you can do it!!

46) very healthy! Besides One Piece, what else do you like?

47) I dunno. Maybe ALL of them? And im curious, SkZs-Chan, did you ever got into a fight with someone?

48) HELL YEAH!! WHAT THE HECK, EVEN NEON-KUN SHOWED ME A PICTURE OF ME AND BON CLAY, MAKING OUT!! YAGH!!

49) tried. But he says he might die early because of these cigars. Believe that? An invincible swordsman, AFRAID of a piece of cigar?! HAHAHA!!

50) Waahh!! Congratulations!! Mellorine!! No. I didn't have any other hair styles. Besides, you like it right?

WAHH!! Because of that, I give you a kiss!! WAHH!! (sends kiss) mellorine!! Mellorine!! Mellorine!!

-your Idol, Sanji-Kun

P.S. Im still apologizing to you… gomen, really…

**Drake**: DON'T PULL MY HAIR YOU DAUGHTER OF SATAN!!

**Trisha**: SHADDUP!! IM TYING YOU UP!! AND DON'T MOVE!!

**Luffy**: ZzZzZzZzZ…

**Sanji**: tsk. Okay NEXT up isss…… Keisha-Chan? (reads)

**Dear Sanji-kun,  
-sigh-Sorry I called you ero-cook.I just got mad.Many of my friends' hearts have been broken before and some of them committed suicide like my stepdad and...I'm just tired of it all.  
I'll stay ...Now that most everything is resolved maybe your ratings will go back up.I hope so.And Sanji,you're not an ero-cook.-hugs-One question,will you forgive me for getting so angry?**

-Keisha

Dearest my Beloved Keisha-Chan,

I forgive you, Keisha-Chan and more because I feel sorry for your situation… really I pity you. Im sorry for making you feel sad while in that situation… just stick to this board, and I'll make you happy. And I forgive you for calling me Ero-Cook… (receives hug) I forgive you, Keisha-Chan… and now I'm going to make you happy! Some questions from me to you…

1) What do you think of Drake-San (I dunno why, but I want to ask all my fan girls this)

2) do you like the way I "Mellorine" ??

3) besides me, who else do you like?

4) anything you want me to cook for you?

5) how old are you?

Hehe, hope those cheer you up. But im gonna ask more next time!! Get prepared!!

-your Idol Sanji-Kun

**Drake**: MMM!! (mouth wrapped and tied up on the chair)

**Trisha**: NOW GET OUTTA HERE!! (pushes chair outside)

**Luffy**: Snick… hey, im having a nice nap here!!

**Sanji**: sorry, you have questions…

**Luffy**: REALLY?! YOSHA!! From who?

**Sanji**: Zo-zemonkeySan…

**... Your really stupid Sanji.**

Oi Luffy-kun!! I got questions for you!!

1)If someone took your meat, ate it, laughed in your face then apologized would you forgive them?

2)Have you ever tried to wear more than one hat at once? Or do you think there is a limit to how many you can wear?

3)Do you have a favorite among your nakama? Or are they all equal... (shoots Sanji an angry glare)

4)Can I join your crew? I know martial arts so I wont be a burden!! Puhlease?

5)I love you Luffy-kun!! Your so kind! You have a special way of making all the fangirls feel wanted... (Nuther angry glare)

See you later Luffy!! -pats him on the head- Your so cute!! Oh and go fall in a hole Sanji... Learn to apoligize the right way.

Dear Zo-ZemonkeySan,

1) NO!! I WONT FORGIVE THEM!!! I'LL KILL THEM!!

2) Eh? No! I only wear my favorite Straw hat!!

3) no… all of them are my favorite!!

**Sanji**: ………

4) ummm… I have to think of that!

5) Eh? What way? All I know is the way to Grandline!! Fangirls in Grandline? Well, I sure need cooling off since its sometimes hot on the ship!! So il go to Grandline and look for a fan girl there!!

**Sanji**: ………

Bye!! HEY!! WATCH IT!! YOU MIGHT BREAK THE HAT!! Me cute?

**Sanji**: Im not giving comments to this. Im already sick and tired of the same shitty thing everyones throwing at me… NO COMMENT.

-Luffy

**Sanji**: tsk. Im getting a headache…

**Trisha**: I can heal it for you!! Can i?

**Sanji**: no thanks, Trisha-Chan… im really okay. On the outside.

**Luffy**: Im hungry…

**Sanji**: I'll cook you Chili Con Carne while you are answering questions from Panda-Chan.

**Luffy**: YOSHA!!!

**To my wonderful sexy kick- pirate cook Sanji-kun, (and Luffy-kun too)  
It's so good to have you back Sanji-kun!(hugs) So from the last time you answered my questions: 4) Some Nat King Cole songs are It's only a Paper Moon, Rout 66, L-O-V-E, Smile, Unforgettable, Darling, Je Vous Amie Beaucoup, and (I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons. He sings lots of love songs! 12) No I do not believe in them. A few days ago my friends and I were going to go out to this place called Castle Rock and we had to drive there. Well before we headed out, one of my friends got a fortune cookie that said "You will have a wonderful 4-wheeled adventure". We thought that was a good sign, but when we were on a country road the people in front of us stopped suddenly and my brother (who was driving) had to drive off the road into a ditch. I thought we were going to die! I cried for a while after that, I'm still shaken up about it! 18) I would love to join you, maybe it'll calm me down! So, now it's question time!  
Luffy first:  
Let's just say that intelligence is how smart you are. 11 comes after 10. No, small is not a synonym of huge! Oi I'll sing my favorite pirate song!**

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.  
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,  
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,   
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.  
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,   
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.  
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.  
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.   
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.  
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,   
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.

1. Is there anything you truly feel embarrassed about?  
2. Is your voice ever sore from shouting so much?  
3. How long can you go without water?  
4. Why do you never kill any of the villains?  
5. Why do you like the color red so much?  
6. Is it worse to be really hot or really cold?  
7. How is it that you can make almost anyone your nakama?  
8. Did you realize how many times Zoro's said he's going to kill you?  
9. Do you like being known ad Straw Hat Luffy?  
10. Besides Shanks, who do you admire the most?

And now for the wonderful, hott, funny, sweet, ect. pirate cook! Sanji-kun!  
1. If you ever find All Blue will you tell Zeff?  
2. Is your hair naturally that straight?  
3. Do you have a brig on your ship?  
4. Do you know any magic tricks?  
5. Have you ever played Egyptian Rat Screw?  
6. Guess what? You're picture is the wallpaper on my cell phone!  
7. Did you know that NBA really stands for National Bazooka Association?  
8. Have you ever kicked anyone to death for insulting your food?  
9. Have you ever taken an I.Q. test?  
10. I've seen this picture of you with a pink cowboy hat and you look real hott in it! Just wanted to comment on that! XD  
11. Have you ever tried any drugs other than your cigarettes?  
12. How far can you jump from a standing position?  
13. I just noticed that Zoro's head looks like a Koala puked on it!  
14. Do you ever feel bad about Zeff's leg?  
15. Does Nami weigh the same as a duck? If so, then she's a witch!  
16. Have you ever been forced to wear women's clothing?  
17. Is Zoro a green meanie in disguise?  
18. Did you know I could drool over your sexy body and cute eyebrows for hours?!  
19. Will you make me a dish with chocolate in it? I'm a chocoholic!  
20. Did you know that for a chain smoker, you have awesome teeth?  
21. Can you beat Zoro at Poker? I just played with my little bro and totally beat him!  
22. Do you like to read romance novels?  
23. What was the scariest horror movie you've ever seen?  
24. Are you ever grossed out by anything?  
25. Can you surf? I recently learned and now I'm hooked! I love it!  
26. M'aimez-vous?  
27. I've got a friend that can beat anyone at chess in 4 moves. Could you beat somebody in 4 moves?  
28. What's your favorite spice to use when you flavor foods?  
29. What's your favorite board game? (hehe, I just about put bored game)  
30. Would you be willing to admit defeat if you ever faced someone who could best your cooking? (like that would ever happen!)

Wow, forty questions all together. That totally beats my record! Oh and one last thing! Je vous aimerai jusqu'à les mers sèchent et les montagnes tombent! I hope you feel the same way. I think you need this! (gives a long loving kiss)

Later Luffy and my kick- Sanji-kun,  
Panda-chan 

Dearest my Beloved Panda-Chan,

Whaa!! Mellorine. I know… and I'll get to your answers for my questions after I finish cooking for Luffy. Okay? Good. (heads to the kitchen)

**Luffy**: Ohiyo, Panda-Chan!! okay, im going to answer your questions

Intelligence? Ahh 11 comes after 9!! Okay!! And small is the homonym of huge? Okay!! That's good enough for me!!

LIVE LONG MUGIWARA AND THE PANDA PIRATES!!

Drank up, my hearts!! YAHOO!!

1) no?

2) nope! I never get tired!! I have unlim…unlime…unlimet… no limit stamina!!

3) uh… maybe 30 minutes?

4) even though im brutal, I still have mercy deep inside…

5) because of the color of… MEAT!!

6) maybe being cold is nice. But my body will freeze! Maybe hot is better…

7) well, if their dream or goal is interesting, I'll make them my nakama!!

8) um, I wasn't counting…

9) yeah! The marines always call me that! And I like it!

10)… um… of course! My Nakama!!

**Luffy**: Oi!! Sanji!! Your turn!!

**Sanji**: okay, at least im done… here ye go!

**Luffy**: ARIGATOU!! (starts eating)

Well, Panda-Chan, hope you enjoyed talking to Luffy, since its his last day here! Anyways, Im going to get some Nat King Cole's Sound tracks!! Same here! Who would believe food can tell your future? Only a stupid person and believe that!!

**Luffy**: I DO!!

Um. Okay. Nevermind. And don't worry, you'll get over the incident! I assure you that!! WAHH! Really?! Nice!! Okay, I have to wait for the next time im free!

Ahem. Answer with some questions time!! (and Arigatou for the comment! Im never used to that!)

1) I will if he says thank you after I saved his restaurant from Don Kreig's lackeys!! tsk!

2) yes, Panda-Chan. heehee! Imagine my hair is all curly!! Can you?

3) a brig? Whats that?

4) well, card magic, yeah.

5) no? what is it?

6) wahh! You really love me do you? Mellorine!!

7) eh? Now why would an association play with Bazookas?

8) you remember smarty pants Fullbody when he came to Baratie? That's what happened when he insults my food. But I should've killed him instead, but his girl is really beautiful and I feel sorry for her!

9) no. can you give me one?

10) thanks fo the comment, babe!! (cowboy voice)

11) wha? I don't do drugs! I only smoke! Um, do you take drugs?

12) maybe 4-5 feet of the ground.

13) HAHA!! is that's a fact? If it is, I'll laugh more!!

14) yeah, that one day it might happen to me!! And you don't want your kick azz cook pirate to lose his cool leg, don't you?

15) no… I don't think so…

16) NO!! but I look nice, tell me! I'll gladly wear it for you!!

17) possibly!! Hehe!!

18) REALLY? Cool…

19) sure! Cake, brownies, pastries, doughnuts, anything! Just name it!!

20) heh (smiles) cool right?

21) amazingly, Zoro is the one beating me up… sigh and good for you, you beat your brother a lot of times!

22) yes very much! Whats your favorite romance novel?

23) scary movie 4. even though its funny, it still freaks me out!

24) yes. YAOI!!! I DETEST YAOI!! YAGH!! Wait, you're not a Yaoi fan girl, are you?

25) sadly, no. but you can teach me, right?

26) Naturellement je

27) in chess, no. in fighting, a lot.

28) ha! It's the Paprika and Turmeric!! They add a very exotic flavor to the food! Haa!! You want some food with my favorite spices?

29) ever heard of monopoly? Yeah, Monopoly, Battleship, Checkers and Chess (even if im not really good at it)

30) no! if the person is cooking better than me, then I can do EVEN better! If he can do EVEN better, I can do it the BETTEREST!! Lets see if he can do that!!

Haa!! Another record breaker! Man, you people never run out of questions, don't you? But whatever. Je t'aime trop jusqu'à la fin du temps. Hehe (receives kiss) WAHH!! Mellorine!! Okay! Ask more!! Wahh!! Okay, good bye, Panda-Chan!!

-Sanji-Kun

**Sanji**: Now people learn how to speak French! Damn!!

**Trisha**: can you teach me?

**Sanji**: sure. Why not? Ehehe

**Drake**: 4 letters from the same sender!! Dalesrose-Chan!!

**Sanji**: Again? Wah! She really loves me!!

**YAY!! Sanji-chwan!! I will review every one of these at least once!! That is my new goal!! I will!! No matter how long it takes!! No matter how long!! No matter my final exams!! No matter my late assignments!! No matter woah I gotta lot to do! HAI!! I think you get it my elegant angel!! Jaa Naa (for now)!  
p.s. Pleases don't call meh a fan girl. call me le obsedant une! Which in French means the obsessive one but of course you knew that! After all I'm taking French cause you speak it! AND I'm gonna take Japanese next year. Wow. Two languages thank you so much for motivating me these past 3 years I've loved you!!**

-le obsedant une de Sanji (the obsessive one for Sanji)

Cher l'obsédant pour Sanji,

You really love me, eh? And 3 posts at one edition? Heh. That proves it! anyways, you dont need to translate the French for me since I can speak it! hehe. Okay, obsedant une, si vous m'aimez vraiment, vous devriez m'avoir posé une question en premier lieu ! tsk! Anyways, if there is ANY question on your next letter, I'll be happy! Okay?

-votre idole, Sanji

**Sanji**: whew! I still remember my French lessons with Old Fart! Good. I thought I forgot!!

**Trisha**: whatever!! The next one!

**sniff sniff No! The Fan Girls are glomping you! Oh well... I'll give you... go? that's five right? in japanese? looks it up Yoshii!! Go!**

ichi: Why do you speak French? I mean, it totally makes you hot cause you know!!  
ni: Do you read Manga?  
san: If you DO read Manga (I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!), then what's your fav manga? If you DON'T read Manga, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH STILL!  
shi: Do you like cats, dogs, or both? In fact, what's your favorite kind of animal? Scratch the kitties and puppies.  
Go: Will you marry me? I- I love you and will never ever cheat on you and you can go and have dates and get married and cheat on me!! I won't mind as long as you devote your love to me. Of course I don't want to share you and it breaks my heart T.T but you don't have to worry about that because I love you! sniff sniff Hope I can ask you more questions! Love you!!

Dear Ichi, Ni, San, Shi and Go,

Oi! Oi! Don't go over a hassle!! Relax!! you can glomp me all you like!!!

For Ichi : Puisque vieux Fart m'a enseigné comment le parler!! Okay!! And I love talking French! But at times I forget some words… tsk…

For Ni: yes I do!

For San: um I read Naruto.

For Shi: KITTIES!! CATS!! MEOW MEOW!! SO CUTE!!!

For Go: no, I cannot make commitments, im sorry. I already suffered the consequences when someone proposed to me… so too bad!

I love you all too, okay? Hehe, you people are really happy seeing an Ask Sanji column, eh? Hehe!

-Your Idol, Sanji-kun.

**Drake**: okay, people!! We reached the limit of today's episode!! Many sorrys, apologizing, I love you, hugging and kissing went on today! So all the questions that were not answered will be answered till the next edition of Ask Sanji!! Bye!!

**Sanji**: goodbye to all!

**Trisha**: HOW DID YOU GET HERE?! DAMN IT!!

**Sanji**: more reviews please! Bye!!

**Luffy**: good bye!! You wont see me on the next edition!! Bye!!


	15. Ask Sanji Final Episode

OKAY!! PEOPLE!! LISTEN UP!! IM BACK AND IM MAD!!!

Ask Sanji is back on its feet. but i'm planning to change it... now, first i'll have to explain WHY THE HELL I didn't update soon... okay, my computer was sucked up by a stupid freaking Adware causing my computer to reboot. losing ALL of my info and stuff i saved in it!!

**Drake**: I EVEN LOST VANESSA-CHANS PICTURES!!

**Trisha**: I DIDNT READ MY EMAILS FOR MORE THAN A WEEK!!

**Sanji**: tsk. sucks no?

ANYWAYS... im still alive though, i can update as soon as i can now. hehe, so Sanji Fans and Haters, im going to change the column to Ask Sanji Season 2 and be on the look out for that!! heh. well, theres nothing i can do now since i lost all of my previous saved files of Ask Sanji and now Sanji cant answer all the questions coz ALL OF THE FRIGGIN SAVED FILES ARE GONE!! anyways, i cant keep it going here so lets have a new start! Ask Sanji!! Season 2, is up next!!! BE THERE or Be Square...

**Sanji**: ALL MY FANGIRLS AND HATERS !! YOU WONT LEAVE ME WONT YOU?? SAY NO, PLEASE!!!!!!! WAHH!! (cries a flood)

**Drake**: (singing) cry me a river... oh... cry me a river... oh... cry me a river...

**Trisha**: QUIT THE SINGING AND GET A BOAT!!

**Neon**: tsk. im sorry, Sanji, but. you have to wait!! man! chill!!

**Sanji**: WHY SHOULD I??!! WHEN ALL MY FANGIRLS UNANSWERED QUESTIONS ARE FLOATING THERE!!!???!!?? WHY!!!

**Neon**: OKAY!! I'LL START THE SECOND COLUMN!!! YAHH!!!

-thats all folks!-


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